


Ripped af

by kpowell123



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bucky and Steve are Stubborn as Hell, Bucky really likes One Direction, Clint Is a Good Bro, Coming Out, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gay Bucky Barnes, Gratuitous One Direction References, I didn't mean for this to have as much Brock as it does, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Tony Is Not Always Helpful, Underage Drinking, bucky is clueless, so i apologize in advance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-07-11 12:58:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 41,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7052734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kpowell123/pseuds/kpowell123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Hey, Bucky?” Rebecca asks, breaking the silence.</i>
</p><p>  <i>“What?” He doesn’t look up from what he’s doing.</i></p><p>  <i>“Isn’t Steve like really skinny and kind of short?”</i></p><p>  <i>“You say that as if you haven’t known him most of your life.”</i></p><p>  <i>“And he doesn’t have any siblings?” Rebecca continues, a mixture of confusion and shock in her voice.</i></p><p>  <i>“No, he doesn’t have siblings. Get it together, Rebecca. What the hell is wrong with you?” Bucky says, finally looking up. He notices that Rebecca is staring out the window, so he turns his attention in that direction. Now he gets why she’s so confused. </i></p><p> <br/>Bucky didn't think that anything would come between his friendship with Steve, least of all puberty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. September

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: I got the idea for this fic right before I went to bed, so I wrote it down in a note on my phone that read like this: "High school AU where Bucky and Steve are BFFs and Steve gets his puberty late and comes back to school junior year ripped af. He starts to get a lot of attention from girls which makes Bucky jealous because Bucky loved him before puberty hit." This fic has been in my brain since October, so it's good that at least some of it is finally written down. I also figured after all of the crap with Hydra Steve and residual Civil War feels that we could all use some alternate universe teenage drama.

Bucky honks yet again for his sister. How long does it take to butter toast? Then again, it is Rebecca he’s dealing with. She’s not known for being speedy. But she should at least know that today is important. It’s the first day of school, or his last first day of school, since he’s a senior. That’s not the reason Bucky’s in a rush though. He couldn’t care less about that.

 Bucky is ready to see his best friend, Steve Rogers. He and his parents and sister had spent most of the summer in Indiana visiting family, while Steve spent his summer back on Long Island at a sports and fitness training camp with the rest of the school’s baseball team. Bucky has never really understood why Steve is so interested in sports. He’s so small, and his severe asthma tends to inhibit him quite often. That doesn’t stop Steve from playing, especially since he made varsity last year, which is almost unheard of for a tenth grader. He’s always been a stubborn son of a bitch, but that’s one of the things Bucky loves about him.

Bucky honks his horn again, not sure what could be taking Rebecca so long. After a third honk, she finally appears at the front door of their house. With her backpack slung on one shoulder, she locks up and runs to the car, fixing her too-short blue plaid uniform skirt as she goes. She moves to sit in the passenger seat, but Bucky shoos her away from it, making sure that Steve gets to sit there when they pick him up.

“I don’t see why you have to wear your skirt so short,” Bucky mutters as Rebecca closes the back door and buckles her seatbelt.

“It’s my way of personalizing the drab school uniform. And it’s not just me. All the tenth grade girls shorten their skirts.” As she speaks, she takes out her phone to move her brown bangs away from her eyes.

“That doesn’t mean you have to.”

“What do you know, Bucky? If you were straight, you would be thankful that girls shorten their skirts,” Rebecca retorts.

“That argument makes no sense. Even if I were straight, I wouldn’t want you to shorten your skirt. You’re my sister!”

"Well it’s still silly to complain about it when everyone does it.”

Bucky rolls his eyes and focuses on driving. He knows the route to Steve’s house like the back of his hand. They’ve been carpooling since Bucky got his license at the end of last year. Their rides would be a lot more fun without Rebecca, but since they all go to the same school, it only makes sense that she rides with them.

Usually he would turn on one of his numerous carpool playlists, but today he opts for a One Direction CD instead. As Live While We’re Young floods the car, Bucky looks in the rearview mirror to see Rebecca roll her eyes. She nods along to the music anyway. She likes One Direction, but not nearly as much as Bucky does. It’s funny, really. Rebecca is the reason Bucky first discovered the boy band. She used to blast the music in her room, and Bucky couldn’t help but listen, seeing as their rooms are right next to each other. After a couple months, Midnight Memories came out, and Bucky started listening to it almost non-stop. He became more of a fan than Rebecca ever was.

By the time Heart Attack is ending, Bucky is pulling up in front of Steve’s house. He pulls out his phone and calls Steve. He picks up on the second ring.

“Hello?” Steve answers. He sounds excited.

“Hey, punk. We’re outside your house,” Bucky responds.

“Cool. I’ll be out in a second. Let me just get my tie.” Steve hangs up, and Bucky checks Facebook on his phone. Besides the music, it’s quiet in the car, since Rebecca is also on her phone.

“Hey, Bucky?” she asks, breaking the silence.

“What?” He doesn’t look up from what he’s doing.

“Isn’t Steve like really skinny and kind of short?”

“You say that as if you haven’t known him most of your life.”

“And he doesn’t have any siblings?” Rebecca continues, a mixture of confusion and shock in her voice.

“No, he doesn’t have siblings. Get it together, Rebecca. What the hell is wrong with you?” Bucky says, finally looking up. He notices that she's staring out the window, so he turns his attention in that direction. Now he gets why she’s so confused.

Coming towards their car is a guy who is presumably Steve, but he’s different. For one thing, he’s taller than Steve. He’s also a bit more built, and he doesn’t have weird bangs anymore, making for a much more fashionable haircut. He’s not wearing glasses. He has his red uniform tie undone around his neck, and he’s carrying a brown messenger bag instead of the tan backpack he usually carried.

“Bucky, that guy ate Steve,” Rebecca says with concern.

“No, stupid, that guy _is_ Steve.” He’s having trouble looking away.

“Well, shit. Steve got ripped as fuck,” she whispers.

“Hey, watch your language!” Bucky shouts, seeming to snap out of a trance.

“Please, like you don’t have the mouth of a sailor.”

Bucky ignores her as Steve opens the passenger side door and gets into the car.

“Who are you, and what have you done with Steve Rogers?” Bucky asks, hoping his voice isn’t filled with the worry and confusion that’s quickly spreading through his body.

Steve laughs and flashes his bright smile. “Guess who finally hit puberty?”

“You did,” Rebecca smiles. She reaches from the back to feel Steve’s arm.

Bucky slaps her hand away. “Hey, now, don’t do that. Hands to yourself.” He turns his attention back to his friend. “Wow. You’re not small anymore.”

“Nope. I should have gotten a picture of your faces. They were priceless.”

“Is this why you didn’t want to FaceTime this summer?”

"That, and there wasn’t really time. Baseball camp kept me busy.”

The car is silent. Bucky and Rebecca are still staring at Steve, both with a similar look of lust, which makes Bucky a bit wary.

“Um, Buck,” Steve starts, “Are you going to start driving?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I guess we do have to go to school.” He puts the car in drive and tries to focus on the road.

“So, it was a Take Me Home kind of morning?” Steve asks.

“What?” Bucky is confused.

“The music. It’s not a playlist.” Steve has been in Bucky’s car long enough to know which One Direction albums are which, and he’s never made fun of him for it.

“Oh, yeah. We can listen to the Oldies playlist on the way home if you want,” Bucky adds, knowing that it’s Steve’s favorite.

“Sure. Is it okay if we leave a little after four? We have our first production meeting for _Little Shop of Horrors_ after school.”

“That’s totally fine. It’s the first day of school, I doubt I’m going to get that much work.”

“Aren’t you taking almost all APs?” Rebecca questions.

“Who asked you to comment?” Bucky retorts as he pulls onto Lehigh Academy’s campus.

Bucky has been at Lehigh Academy since kindergarten. It’s a small, co-ed private school on Long Island. His mother had gone there, so it seemed easy for her children to go there too. When Bucky was in first grade, he was paired with Steve at the first grade/kindergarten play date. They’ve been best friends ever since.

Bucky turns into the senior lot as Steve does his tie and Rebecca pulls her sweater out of her backpack.

“You guys are very lucky that you get the privilege of the senior lot before you’re seniors, so please appreciate me,” Bucky lets them know.

“We already do appreciate you, Buck,” Steve smiles. It makes Bucky blush.

“Speak for yourself,” Rebecca smirks as she unbuckles her seatbelt. She barely waits for Bucky to turn the car off before she opens the door to get out.

Once everyone’s out of the car, Bucky locks the door and they start walking up to the building. Steve is walking a bit in front of Rebecca and Bucky, as he tries to catch up with Peter Parker, one of his friends from art class. As he gets further in front of them, Bucky can’t help but notice that Steve’s ass looks really nice in his uniform khakis. He turns his attention to Rebecca, who is throwing him a knowing look.

“You know, if you don’t act on this stupid crush you’ve had for ages, someone else is gonna ask Steve out. And that someone might even possibly be me,” Rebecca says.

He wouldn’t call it a stupid crush. A stupid crush would be if he had feelings for Steve for a month for no reason. Bucky’s had feelings for Steve for years, but he can’t say anything because Steve is straight.

Bucky feels betrayed. “That’s not fair. It’s not a stupid crush, and you know it. And you’d have the advantage over me, seeing as you’re a girl.”

“Jeez, do you really think I would do that to my own brother? I’m just saying, the people here are vain, and once they get a look at what happened to Steve over the summer, they’re going to be all over him. Just be prepared. I’ll see you later, I told Kamala I would meet her at her locker.” She pats him on the shoulder and rushes off to meet her friend.

Bucky finally reaches his locker. Once he opens it, he unpacks his backpack and then fixes his hair in his little mirror. He can see Clint coming up behind him.

Clint Barton has been one of Bucky’s best friends since he came to Lehigh Academy in sixth grade. He likes having someone who’s actually in his grade to hang out with during the day. Clint was also the first person Bucky came out to when they were in tenth grade. As he reaches Bucky’s locker, he wraps his arms around him from behind.

“Nice to see you too, Clint. Did you tell Natasha that you’re leaving her for me yet?” Bucky jokes.

“I did. And surprisingly enough she was okay with it,” Clint jokes back. He lets go so Bucky can turn around to face him.

“How is she? How are you guys?” He closes his locker and starts walking towards his first class.

“She was a bit distracted closer to the end of the summer, what with choreographing _Little Shop of Horrors_. She’s excited, and I’m excited for her, but it really cut into our sex life.”

Bucky lets out a chuckle. “What sex life?” Then he realizes Clint is being serious. “Wait, did you guys finally…”

“June 28th, to be exact!” Clint is nothing but smiles.

“You remembered the date, you’re so cute.”

“She even let us do it in the back of her car once.”

“How romantic,” Bucky quips. “I’m surprised you didn’t text me. Or that I didn’t hear your victory shouts all the way from Indiana.”

“I couldn’t text you, I was too busy doing it.”

They stop outside the AP Russian classroom.

“This is my stop,” Bucky says.

“It’s my stop, too,” Clint replies.

“You’re not in AP Russian. You barely passed Russian last year.”

“That’s not true! I did so miraculously well on the final last year, thanks to your brilliant tutelage, that I placed in. And Nat’s grandparents are coming to visit. I want to be able to say a few things to them in their native language.” He looks at Bucky with pleading eyes.

Bucky rolls his eyes and gives in as he steps into the classroom. “Okay, but don’t expect me to go easy on you when we study. I’m not going easy on myself. I am trying to place into a higher level Russian class in college.”

“Boo! Stop thinking about college,” Clint mocks as he takes a seat next to his friend.

“I hate to break it to you man, but you need to stop living in denial. You also have to apply to college this year.”

“I will live in denial until they meet with the seniors about it in a week.” He takes out his notebook and a pen. “So, what did you do in Indiana?”

“I visited family,” Bucky replies as he gets his things ready for class.

“Really? That’s it? There were no guys to hook up with?”

“You know I don’t really like hooking up. Especially if it’s not going to be long term.”

“But if that’s the case, you’re never going to get anyone. The only out guys in our grade are you and Brock Rumlow. And I doubt you want to go down that road again.” Clint whispers, as their teacher enters the room.

Bucky chooses to ignore Clint’s comment about Brock Rumlow. It’s not something he feels like thinking about on the first day back. “I feel like this is a conversation we don’t need to have. Worry about your own relationship, not my lack of one,” he whispers back.

As their teacher starts class, Bucky notices out of the corner of his eye that Clint is still looking at him. He hopes that Clint would know better than to pity him at this point in their friendship. He discreetly slips his friend the middle finger without tearing his gaze from his notebook. Hopefully that’ll get Clint to stop bothering him about it for at least the next hour.

**…**

Bucky waits by Steve’s locker after third period so they can walk to lunch together. Even though he wants to study languages and linguistics in college, he’s already regretting taking both AP Russian and AP Latin, especially because they’re right after each other. He’s just finished with his British Literature elective, and he’s feeling pretty drained. He hopes AP Chem isn’t as hard as everyone says it is, considering that’s what he has after lunch. He seems to forget about all that for a moment when he sees Steve round the corner. He’s carrying a binder and his pencil case as he talks to Natasha Romanov, his best friend since ninth grade and Clint’s girlfriend.

Natasha’s always scared Bucky a little bit, but then again, she scares most people. And she wouldn’t be Natasha if she weren’t intimidating. She quickly slid into their friend group, especially after Bucky realized how much Clint liked her. They’ve been together since the beginning of last year.

“James! How was Indiana?” Natasha smiles as she and Steve finally approach the lockers.

Bucky ignores her mention of his first name. She’s never called him Bucky, and he doubts he’ll ever be able to get her to start. “Indiana was fine. It’s always the same when we go visit family.”

“So, I take it you didn’t get laid?” Natasha continues.

“Why are you and your boyfriend so obsessed with my lack of a sex life?”

“Because, out of our entire friend group, you’re the only one who hasn’t been in a relationship before.”

“So?” Bucky doesn’t seem to understand her point. It’s true, he’s the only one of his friends who’s never had a relationship. Steve had even had a girlfriend back in the ninth grade.

“Nat, give it a rest. Bucky will be in a relationship when he’s ready to be in a relationship,” Steve says as he takes his lunch out of his locker.

“Thank you, Stevie. Life isn’t all about who you’re fucking.” They start walking towards the cafeteria.

Bucky walks in between Steve and Natasha on their way to lunch. He can’t help but notice that people are staring. Then he remembers. Steve didn’t used to look like this, and everyone is taking notice.

“Hi, Steve!” a voice shouts from behind. The trio turn around to see Karen Page, a far too perky junior girl. Her straight blond hair is swishing back and forth as she runs to catch up with them, or Steve rather.

“Hi, Karen. How was your summer?” Steve asks. Bucky thinks he’s being too polite.

“It was alright. I’m so glad to be back and seeing everyone, you know?” She sizes Steve up as they continue walking. “Baseball camp really did you some good, didn’t it?”

Steve chuckles, a blush creeping up his cheeks. “I guess so.”

“I heard you’re the set designer for _Little Shop of Horrors_. Congrats!”

“Thanks. Are you auditioning?”

“I sure am. Sometimes I think I was born to play Audrey. Oh, and Natasha, I am so excited to learn your choreography. I’m sure it’s amazing,” Karen continues, finally acknowledging someone other than Steve.

“It is.” Natasha throws a fake smile and then walks faster after spotting Clint.

“Well, I’d better go meet Foggy. Nice seeing you, Steve!” With that, Karen is gone as quickly as she appeared.

“Doesn’t she have a boyfriend?” Bucky questions as he glares after her.

“Who, Matt? No, they broke up a while ago. Where have you been?” Steve replies.

“You know I can’t be bothered to pay attention to the likes of Karen Page.”

“She’s not all bad. She is pretty talented.”

“Yeah, at being a kiss-up. You’re just too nice to admit it.”

Steve shrugs as they reach the cafeteria. They find their usual table where Clint and Natasha are already staked out. Clint gets one look at Steve and his eyes almost fall out of his head.

“Wow, people really weren’t kidding. You are very buff!” Clint shouts.

Steve’s cheeks redden. “Let’s not draw attention, Clint.”

“You don’t need Clint to draw attention,” Natasha adds as she spears a forkful of lettuce.

“Where are your glasses?” Clint asks, still fixated on Steve.

“I got contacts. It makes baseball much easier.”

Bucky sits quietly as he pulls out his sandwich and Capri Sun. He’s enjoying being back with his friends. Family is nice for a short period of time, but Bucky’s pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to stand anyone after a whole summer. Maybe not Steve, but that’s different.

“Hey, where’s Peggy?” Steve asks.

Natasha and Clint simultaneously shrug.

“Sorry I’m late. I narrowly avoided a conversation with Logan after class. I had to take the long way,” Peggy says in her unmistakable accent, as she comes up behind Steve and Bucky.

Steve is quick to jump up and pull her into a bear hug. She’s a bit shocked, presumably because this is also her first time seeing him since his transformation.

“Wow, you… wow.” Peggy is speechless, something that doesn’t normally happen.

Peggy and Natasha both joined the friend group around the same time. Peggy and Steve dated for a few months when they were in ninth grade. Bucky had a bit of a hard time during those few months, because he was jealous that Peggy got to have Steve in a way that he would never be able to. He’s warmed up to her since then, but there are times when he still feels pretty distant from her.

“That was almost as good as Clint’s reaction,” Steve laughs. “How was England?”

“Cloudy, but that’s nothing new,” Peggy replies as she sits down on the other side of Steve. She leans forward and looks in Bucky’s direction. “How are you, James?”

“I’m great, Peggy. Happy first day of school!” They share a grimace at Bucky’s joke.

Even though Bucky had originally been jealous of Peggy, he’s always admired how put together she is in every aspect of her life. Every day her brown hair is perfectly pinned and curled, and she always goes for a bright red shade of lipstick. He’s never seen anyone look so nice in the somewhat unflattering white polo and plaid skirt that the girls have to wear. Not only that, but she’s had a clear idea of what she’s wanted to do with her life since she was ten years old, which he’s pretty sure is something along the lines of being a consultant for intelligence agencies. Honestly, it’s no wonder Steve was so into her. Bucky would be too, if he swung that way.

“You know, I can’t tell if teachers make the first day of school the worst on purpose, or if they’re just oblivious,” Peggy remarks.

“Oh, it’s totally on purpose. Teachers were once students, and this is payback for the treatment they received,” Steve says.

Peggy takes a sip of her water. “I’ll never understand the American education system.”

“Neither will we,” Bucky adds.

Lunch continues rather uneventfully. That is, until Tony Stark decides to make an appearance.

Tony Stark is another senior at Lehigh. He’s been there since the fifth grade, and was basically valedictorian the minute he stepped onto campus. His father, Howard Stark, is one of the richest and smartest men on the planet and CEO of Stark Industries. Bucky had wondered until last year why Tony isn’t already in college. He’s certainly smart enough, but Tony told him in their physics class that his father wanted him to have a normal high school experience with people his age, something Howard Stark was never able to do.

“Barnes. Barton. Rogers. Romanov,” Tony greets them politely. “How are you, Peggy?” He sits down next to her and undoes his blazer button. His greeting to Peggy seemed much more sincere than everyone else’s.

“I’m alright, thank you Tony.” Peggy gives him a polite smile.

“You know, I spent some time in London this summer. I was hoping I’d run into you there,” Tony continues.

“I’m not from London.”

“Oh.”

Bucky and the others look on in amusement. Is Tony trying to flirt with Peggy Carter? Is this really happening? Maybe Tony isn’t as smart as he makes himself out to be. Since he isn’t sure how to recover from that, they end up sitting in silence.

“Look what time it is, we’d better start getting to class,” Bucky says, hoping to diffuse the awkward tension.

“We have AP Chem next, I’ll go with you.” Tony stands up and pulls his backpack on his shoulder.

“How do you know I have AP Chem?” Bucky asks with concern.

“I have my ways. Let’s go.” Tony starts walking.

Bucky grimaces at his friends and follows after Tony, dragging his feet as he goes. Once he catches up with him, Tony continues to run his mouth. It’s not that Bucky dislikes Tony. Sure, he’s still holding a grudge over something that happened their freshman year, but that’s with good reason. He’s not all bad, and he throws a lot of parties throughout the year.

“How was your summer, Tony?” Bucky asks once he finally gets a chance to speak.

“It was alright. I hung out with Pepper a bit before she went to school, but she said it would probably be better to end things.”

Pepper Potts was Lehigh Academy’s valedictorian last year. She and Tony had been together since her sophomore year. She graduated last June and just started at Yale. She’s the only person Bucky’s ever known who actually had some sort of positive influence on Tony. Bucky likes Pepper a lot for that and is a bit upset that she’s decided not to put up with him anymore.

Bucky doesn’t know how to respond, so he changes the subject. “I hear Mr. Morello is a hard grader.”

“It shouldn’t be too much of a problem. My dad just donated a lot of money for some new lab equipment,” Tony replies, as they enter the classroom.

“I don’t think he’d respond well to a bribe.”

Tony chuckles. “Anyone can be bought, Barnes. Anyone can be bought.”

The pair take a seat at one of the lab benches in the front of the room. Their teacher, Mr. Morello is writing some general information on the board.

“So, did you get laid this summer?” Tony asks.

“I swear to God if you don’t stop talking, I will punch you!” Bucky whisper-yells, so tired of that question.

“I’m going to take that as a no.” Tony only listens because Bucky does punch him in the arm.

Mr. Morello pushes his glasses up a bit more on his face and clears his throat. “Welcome to AP Chemistry. I’ll get into logistics after I give you your lab partner assignments. These will be your partners for the whole year, no exceptions.”

Bucky silently prays that his partner isn’t Karen Page. He had noticed that she walked in and sat down with her friend Matt Murdock. He’s not sure he can handle working with her for the entire school year.

“James Barnes and Brock Rumlow. You’ll be at Lab Bench 1.”

Bucky’s eyes bug out of his head. He tries to keep his composure and turns around to see Brock Rumlow sitting two rows behind him, looking just as confused. Tony starts to snicker.

“Is there something funny, Mr. Stark?” Mr. Morello asks.

“You wouldn’t find it funny, sir,” Tony replies, trying and failing to hide his smile.

“Try me.”

Bucky holds his breath as their teacher crosses his arms waiting for an explanation.

“It’s really nothing. I was just messing around,” Tony says as he finally gains his composure.

“In the future, don’t mess around. Not in here, at least. Now, Mr. Barnes and Mr. Rumlow, will you please move to Lab Bench 1?”

Bucky and Brock pick up their belongings and shuffle to their new bench. Bucky keeps his head down as he unpacks his bag for real this time. He barely hears the rest of the lab partner assignments, but he does vaguely hear when Karen Page and Tony are paired together. He can’t even gloat, since he’s still in shock at his awful luck.

Brock Rumlow was new to Lehigh Academy in the ninth grade. Back then, Bucky had a bit of a crush on him. They had a few small conversations at Tony’s parties, and Bucky became even more smitten. Everything changed however, at Tony’s holiday party. Brock and Bucky were talking, when Tony ran by with a piece of mistletoe tied to a stick and hung it over their heads. They shared a quick peck, and Tony ran off to terrorize more partygoers. Brock suggested maybe they go someplace private, and they left the basement to look for an unoccupied room. They found a bathroom on the first floor where they thought they could make out and not be discovered.

Unfortunately, Tony was much drunker than they had thought, because about five minutes after they found the bathroom, Tony reappeared, this time with his phone, and snapped a picture. Since neither Brock nor Bucky had come out, they both freaked out. Brock ran after Tony, and Bucky went to find Pepper. At that point, she and Tony had been dating for about a month, and Bucky knew that she would make sure Tony deleted the photo. After that incident, Bucky and Brock chose to ignore what happened. Surprisingly enough, it worked, up until this unfortunate lab pairing. It makes Bucky wonder how they haven’t even had a class together before this, what with the small school they go to.

Bucky works up the courage to look up from his notebook as Mr. Morello passes out the syllabus. He turns his head to the right to see Brock writing a few notes in his planner. Brock stops writing and looks at Bucky, who blushes and averts his eyes to the other side of the room. It doesn’t help make the situation any less uncomfortable. When class is finally over, it seems as though Brock wants to leave the room as soon as possible, but Bucky stops him.

“Hey, I hope this isn’t going to be too weird for you,” he says as he picks up his things.

“Why would it be weird?” Brock asks as they leave the classroom.

“You know why.”

“Listen, James. We made out in the ninth grade. Why is it still weird now?”

“Well, for one thing, this is our first conversation since then. And I saw your face when Mr. Morello called our names. It’s a little weird.” By this point, they’re standing at Brock’s locker.

“Okay, so it is a little weird. But if we’re going to be working together for the rest of the year, we might as well get over it and get used to each other,” Brock answers as he puts away his chemistry books and gets his things for his next class.

“Coexistence. I like it,” Bucky responds after a pause. Brock chuckles and shakes his head.

“So, I guess I’ll see you around.”

“It sure looks that way.” Bucky smiles and waves as Brock walks back down the hallway.

“Who are you waving at?” Clint asks over Bucky’s shoulder.

Bucky jumps and turns around. “Fuck, Clint, you can’t just come up behind people like that!”

“Don’t avoid my question. Who were you waving to?” It’s clear he’s not going to leave Bucky alone until he gets an answer.

“If you must know, I was waving to my lab partner.” Bucky notices that Clint’s tie is lopsided, so he helps him straighten it.

Clint attempts to shove his friend away. “Bucky, who is your lab partner?”

“I’m afraid you’re going to overreact.”

“When do I overreact?”

Bucky raises his eyebrows. “Clint, you overreacted when you saw Steve two hours ago.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“Just tell me, you fuck. I promise, I won’t react.”

“I don’t believe you, but fine. Brock Rumlow is my lab partner.”

Clint’s eyes bug out of his head once again. “Shit!” People in the hallway turn to look at him. He flashes an awkward smile and grabs Bucky’s arm as he pulls him down the hall.

“You call that not reacting?” Bucky whispers. He doesn’t know why he feels the need to whisper, but he’s probably trying to make up for the fact that Clint shouted a curse word near the lower school hallway.

“I’m sorry! I mean, you don’t have the best luck, but I figured your luck would get you Karen Page at the most,” Clint whispers back.

“I need to find better friends.”

“It’s too late for that. You’re very much stuck with us. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. You spoke to your ninth grade crush for the first time since ninth grade today. How does that make you feel?” Clint stops walking and mimes having a pen and notepad.

“Well, doctor, it was weird. At first he tried to act like it was nothing, but then he admitted it was weird. And now we’re going to coexist.”

Clint furrows his brow. “Elaborate on the word weird.”

“How would you feel if you made out with your lab partner and hadn’t spoken to them since?”

“Noted. There is no other way to describe that. We should still find a more interesting word than weird, though. You’re smart, this shouldn’t be too difficult.”

Bucky and Clint would have gone on talking, if it weren’t for their history teacher popping her head out of the classroom. “Mr. Barton, Mr. Barnes. Will you be joining us for class today?”

“Sorry, Ms. Hill. We lost track of time,” Clint responds.

“No need for excuses, just come in the room.”

Bucky pushes Clint and then follows him into the classroom. As he takes a seat in the back of the room he realizes that he’s never had such a long first day of school before, and he really can’t wait for it to be over.

**…**

Bucky and Rebecca sit in the library after school, waiting for Steve to be finished with his production meeting. Rebecca seems as though she’s being productive, but Bucky stares at his laptop, not wanting to do any work. He’s having a hard time concentrating, seeing as his first day was rather draining.

“Hey, Becks?” Bucky whispers.

“What is it?” she asks, not looking up from her math homework.

“I can’t concentrate.”

Rebecca rolls her eyes. “Work on your fan fiction.”

“I don’t want to. I’m at the depressing part where Harry breaks up with Louis, and it just gets super angsty from there.”

“So why did you start writing it?”

“I thought it would be fun at first. Now it’s just sad.”

“They’re going to get back together in the end, right?”

“Yeah, but I have to write all the stuff in the middle first.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

Bucky shrugs and turns his attention back to his laptop. He opens his fan fiction file, huffs, and immediately slams the laptop shut. Rebecca glares at him. She opens her mouth to yell at her brother, but she’s interrupted by Steve’s arrival at their table.

“Hey, guys,” Steve says cheerily.

“Hey, Stevie!” All of Bucky’s frustration exits his body now that Steve is here and they can go home. “How was your meeting?”

“It went really well. I’m excited to be working on the show, and I’m extra excited that they gave me the chance to be set designer as a junior.”

At Lehigh, the fall musical is always student run, with adult supervision of course. Usually the director, choreographer, and set designer positions are given to seniors. Natasha and Steve are lucky to be choreographer and set designer as juniors. Their talent at their respective arts got them the job a year earlier than usual, as well as the fact that most of the current seniors would rather act. They both seem extremely pumped about it.

“Well you deserve it. You’re such a good artist,” Bucky says as he puts his notebooks in his backpack. “Rebecca, you can finish your math homework at home. I’m ready to leave this godforsaken place.”

Once Rebecca has her stuff together, Bucky leads the way to the senior lot so all three of them can leave.

“When are auditions?” Bucky asks as he gets settled in the driver’s seat.

“Tomorrow and Wednesday after school. Callbacks are on Thursday, and the cast list goes up on Friday,” Steve answers.

“Do you get to sit in on auditions?”

“I don’t see what input I would have. Who we cast has nothing to do with what the set will look like. Nat is happy though, since she gets to lead the dance audition.”

“I’m sure she’ll make it especially hard for Karen Page,” Bucky mutters as he starts the car.

“Why do you have such a problem with Karen?” From his tone, Steve seems offended.

“Why are you getting so defensive?”

“Because it just seems like you don’t like her for no reason, and that’s not fair!”

“She just gets on my nerves, okay? Aren’t there people that you irrationally dislike?”

“Not really, no.”

“Hey, idiots!” Rebecca shouts. “This argument is stupid, Karen Page sucks. Now please turn on some music and stop yelling at each other.”

“We weren’t yelling, we were having a heated discussion,” Bucky grumbles as he continues driving.

Steve reaches for Bucky’s phone and scrolls through, looking for the Oldies playlist. Steve’s love for old music always makes Bucky chuckle. It just furthers his theory that Steve is an old man trapped in a sixteen year old’s body. Steve finds the song he’s looking for and presses play.

“Listen, Buck! It’s our song!” Steve jokes, as the opening of Fooled Around and Fell In Love plays.

“I should start taking the bus,” Rebecca comments as she sinks down in her seat to await the inevitable belting session that is about to ensue.

Fooled Around and Fell In Love has been Steve and Bucky’s “song” since Steve’s mom got him an Elvin Bishop CD for his thirteenth birthday. It’s Bucky’s favorite song on the album, and for a period of time when he went over to Steve’s house, they would listen to the song on loop, so much so that Steve joked one day that it should be their song.

Bucky laughs and begins to sing the first verse, “ _I must’ve been through about a million girls. I’d love ‘em and I’d leave ‘em alone_.” He takes one hand off the wheel to point at Steve so he can sing the next part.

“ _I didn’t care how much they cried, no sir. Their tears left me cold as a stone_ ,” Steve sings with fiery passion.

They sing the chorus together, with Steve on back-up vocals and guitar solo. They’ve done this a million times, so it’s second nature to them. At one point during the song, Bucky checks on Rebecca in the rearview mirror to see that she continues to slide further down in her seat as the song goes on. It’s a wonder that Bucky is able to sing and concentrate on the road. He tries not to think about that though, considering he’s having too much fun. He also tries not to think about the fact that his school carpools with Steve are eventually going to have to come to an end, something he’s definitely not looking forward to. Good thing they have the entire rest of the school year before that becomes a reality.

**…**

It’s a week into school and Bucky is ready to quit. He’s not sure why he decided to take so many difficult classes as a senior, but at the same time, he knows why he did it. College is looming, and he wants to get in. He’s walking with Clint to their senior class meeting to talk about just that.

“What even is the point of college? There’s no longer a guarantee that a college degree gets you a job,” Clint muses as he fixes his tie.

“We go to a college preparatory school. That argument isn’t going to fly with your advisor,” Bucky reminds his friend.

“Can’t I just wait until Nat goes to college?”

“I mean, you could, but I don’t think your advisor or your parents are going to endorse you taking a gap year just to spend time with your girlfriend.”

“You don’t know that. My mom loves Nat. Over the summer when she figured out me and Nat were having sex, she bought me a box of condoms and told me to go crazy.”

“Stop! Why did you feel the need to tell me that?” Bucky slams dramatically against the lockers. He garners a few weird looks, but he doesn’t give a shit.

“I knew it would make you uncomfortable,” Clint giggles.

“Fuck you, man.”

“I love you too, Bucky.”

They step into the school’s multipurpose room and find a seat.

“Do you even have any idea where you want to go to school?” Bucky asks Clint after a moment of silence.

“I don’t know what I’m going to eat for dinner, Buck. I have to take it one thing at a time. That’s the way my brain works.”

Bucky stares at his friend in disbelief. “Come on, man. You must have thought about it a little bit.”

“I was only partially joking. You need to have a bit more faith in me, goodness.”

“It’s not that I don’t have faith in you. You just don’t ever want to talk about it, but it’s happening to you soon. You said you would stop living in denial.”

“Jeez, I’ve got this covered. My mom made us do college visits over the summer. I do have some idea what I’m looking for.”

“Well I happen to know exactly what I’m looking for,” Tony says as he sits down next to Bucky. “Gentlemen. How was your first week of school?”

“It was fine, thanks for asking. Might I ask what it is that you’re looking for, Tony?” Bucky asks.

“MIT. I’m applying early action. In fact, I’ve already started looking at the application. I’ve got everything figured out.”

“Yeah, because your dad went there,” Clint mumbles.

“I’ll have you know, Barton, that I can get into MIT without help from my father. I happen to be valedictorian!” Tony leans forward over Bucky so he can see Clint’s face as he speaks to him.

“I’m not saying that you’re not smart, I’m just saying that makes things much easier. At least you know for sure you’ll get into a school!”

“Guys, calm the fuck down! We’re all going to get into college, no matter whose parents went where. In the grand scheme of things, legacy isn’t always as important as people make it out to be.”

Clint and Tony grumble apologies to each other and lapse into silence. Bucky thanks the heavens that Ms. Hill comes to the front of the room to start the meeting before things get any more awkward.

The meeting doesn’t take very long so the seniors have time to meet with their advisors. Ms. Hill says a lot of the things that everyone has been saying about applying to college since the beginning of junior year. Bucky doesn’t really understand the point of having to repeat the same information over and over again, but it makes the administration feel better and it’s not something he has control over.

After the meeting, Bucky parts ways with Clint and Tony and goes to sit outside Ms. Hill’s office, seeing as she is his advisor. When he gets there and realizes she’s not back yet, he slides down the wall to sit on the ground. It’s this moment that he understands how tired he is, as he begins to nod off.

“James? Are you alright?” Ms. Hill asks.

Bucky’s eyes shoot open to see Ms. Hill standing above him, her brown hair pulled out of her face into a bun. She's wearing glasses today, and they're perched on the bridge of her nose. Bucky wonders how they’ve managed to stay on her face.

“I’m just tired, Ms. Hill,” he replies. He stands up as she unlocks her office.

“It’s only the second week of school.”

“Exactly.”

Ms. Hill chuckles as she gets out Bucky’s file from her desk and takes a look. “So, you’re a senior.”

“Yup.” Bucky sits down and twiddles his thumbs.

“AP Russian and AP Latin. Now I understand why you’re so tired.”

“In theory, it makes sense. I’d like to place into the higher level language classes wherever I go next year. In practice, it’s horrible.”

“So you’re still interested in studying linguistics?”

“That and anthropology. It’s just a lot of work.”

“Well don’t expect to catch a break next year. So did you do any college visits over the summer?”

Bucky fidgets in his seat. “Yeah, I visited a few places while I was in Indiana, but I don’t think I want to leave New York.”

Ms. Hill takes notes as Bucky speaks. “Have you visited any schools in New York?”

“Yeah. I toured at Columbia, Skidmore, Sarah Lawrence, and NYU.”

“Did you like them? Did any one school stand out to you more than the others?”

Bucky thinks about that for a moment. “I guess so. I had a really great time at NYU. Jane Foster who graduated from here showed me around and talked about how happy she is there.”

“Well if you liked it so much, have you thought about applying early decision?” Ms. Hill asks.

“I hadn’t really. The idea of early decision scares me a bit.”

“I don’t see why it should, James. You’re one of the smartest people in your grade, you go above and beyond in all your classes. I think you’d do well at NYU.”

Bucky is quiet again. He’s always felt weird when people tell him that he’s smart. Sometimes he feels as though he doesn’t deserve the compliment.

“How about this?” Ms. Hill continues, “Why don’t you go home and talk to your parents about it? Even if you did apply ED, I’d like you to think of a second choice school to have an application ready for. The college application process is a bit of a crapshoot, even if you are a qualified candidate.”

“Okay.”

“James, I don’t want you to worry. Any school will be lucky to have you next fall.”

“Thanks, Ms. Hill. I’ll talk to my parents tonight and get back to you.” Bucky smiles as he gathers his backpack and blazer and leaves his advisor’s office.

**…**  

Later that night, Bucky is procrastinating by looking at NYU’s website. He scrolls through all of their programs, even the ones that don’t really interest him. He spends a lot of time on the Tisch website for absolutely no reason. As he scrolls through past production photos, he hears his phone vibrate. Steve is calling him.

“‘Sup, punk?” Bucky answers.

 “Hey, jerk. What are you doing?” Steve questions.

“I’m obsessively looking at NYU’s website. If I went there, I wouldn’t even go to the Tisch School of the Arts, but they have really nice pictures on their website.”

Steve laughs. “So I take it you’re thinking about the future?”

“Yeah, it’s fucking terrifying. I’m sorry if I seemed a little distant on the car ride home today. Ms. Hill told me she thinks I should apply early decision, and it’s just scary. What if I don’t get in?”

“Buck, the beauty of early decision is that you get the decision back early. So if you don’t get in or are deferred to regular decision, then you still have time to make the application deadline for other schools. And besides, they would be crazy not to let you into NYU.”

Bucky is glad Steve can’t see him blush over the phone. “You’re my best friend, you’re supposed to say that.”

“You know I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true.”

Bucky is even more glad that Steve can’t see the stupid fond face he’s making. “Man, what would I do without you?”

“I have no idea. It’s a wonder you survived six years of life without knowing me.”

The more appropriate word for the sound that exits Bucky’s mouth is a giggle, but he would never admit that. There’s silence over the line for a moment.

“Buck, are you still there?” Steve asks.

“Yeah, I’m still here.”

“I think you should go for it. If you really love it, then what’s the point of waiting until April to hear back?”

“I guess.”

“And whatever happens, I’ll still be proud of you. And we can get drunk no matter what.”

“Thanks, Steve. That means a lot.”

“I’m glad I could be of service. I need to finish a sketch, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, good night.” Bucky smiles as he hangs up the phone.

Five minutes later, he’s walking downstairs with his information folder from his NYU tour in hand. He takes a deep breath before he enters the kitchen. There’s no turning back now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! I can't promise that the rest of them will be this long, since this took me ages to write. I'm planning on posting about once a week. I have a few chapters written and a fairly extensive outline, so I'm hoping I won't get too behind.
> 
> If I ever reference a song in the chapter, I'll put a link in the end notes so you can go listen to it:  
> [Live While We're Young](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbPED9bisSc)  
> [Heart Attack](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3l16DQdlSY)  
> [Fooled Around and Fell in Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyMMEmwFQUE)  
>    
> You can also follow me on Tumblr [here!](http://mylifeiskara.tumblr.com/)


	2. October

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Highlights include some fluff and a flashback to the tenth grade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, there are two parties in this chapter, so there's a few mentions of underage drinking, but this is probably the most there will ever be all at once. I would also like to add that the characterization of Karen Page in this fic does not reflect how I actually feel about her. I was thinking of names, and I randomly wrote hers down.

Bucky isn’t sure how September went by so quickly, or how he and Clint could have possibly ended up at Tony’s house on a Friday night. Steve, Natasha, and Peggy are on the junior class retreat for the weekend, so that partly explains why Bucky and Clint had nothing better to do.

“You know, when Tony invited us over, I assumed there would be more people here,” Clint muses. “I was not under the impression this was a sleepover.”

Bucky thinks back to the conversation he and Clint had with Tony the day before after school. He had popped up by Bucky’s locker and invited them to his house to hang out. He said there would be alcohol and they could stay over if they were feeling too drunk to go home. “In retrospect, it sounded like he invited us to a sleepover, we just didn’t notice because he promised us alcohol,” Bucky answers.

“Damn. How did he learn our weakness?” Clint asks as he takes a sip of his beer.

“It’s not that hard to figure out. We’re underage high school students. We like what’s forbidden.”

“Yeah. Alcohol isn’t going to be nearly as exciting once we’re 21.”

Bucky nods in agreement as he scans Tony’s bedroom. There’s a whole shelf across from Tony’s bed that has all of his science trophies. Bucky vaguely remembers being a bit jealous at the beginning of sixth grade when he didn’t make the middle school science team, but since he needed another class to take, he started Russian that year, so things worked out for the best.

Tony returns to his bedroom with four boxes of pizza and another six-pack of beer. “There’s cheese and meat lovers. Go crazy.”

“Thanks,” Clint says, quick to open the meat lovers pizza.

“No wild parties this weekend, Tony?” Bucky asks as he opens another beer.

“I promised my dad I wouldn’t host a party until the middle of the month. He thinks they get too out of hand.”

“So you invited us over?”

“Well, yeah. You guys are my friends,” Tony says quietly.

Clint and Bucky share a confused look. Tony had never said they were friends before. Is this real life?

“I know what you’re thinking, are we really friends with Tony? Doesn’t he have other friends? The answer to both of your questions is yes. But my other friends are Pepper and Rhodey, and they both graduated last year. And I mean, I don’t really talk to anyone else in our grade but you, so you don’t have to consider me your friend, but I do.”

“Tony, of course you’re our friend,” Bucky answers.

Tony’s face lights up. Hearing Bucky say that had definitely just made his day. As much as Tony annoys Bucky sometimes, he’s really not that bad. They get along when he’s not drunk and being stupid.

“And even though it was a long time ago, I should probably say that I shouldn’t have taken that picture of you and Brock kissing in ninth grade. It was shitty of me, so I’m sorry,” Tony adds.

“I appreciate your apology, man. I really didn’t expect you to ever apologize, but I’m glad you did.”

“And now we’ve come full circle, and it’s only a matter of time before you and Brock hook up again,” Clint says.

“Shut up, Clint. That’s not going to happen. We’ve talked about it, and we’re both completely over it.”

“That’s what they all say,” Tony smirks before biting into a slice of pizza.

“Guys, seriously! Nothing is going to happen with Brock! Been there, done that, the end.”

Clint looks at the ground, then back at Tony, and they burst out laughing. Bucky rolls his eyes, and as payback moves the beer and pizza out of their reach. Once they realize what Bucky has done, they are quick to get back into his good graces. As Bucky relinquishes the food, he playfully smacks them both on the head, then goes back to nursing his beer.

**…**

Since it’s early October, Bucky sits out in the courtyard during his free period, enjoying what is probably one of the last days of warm weather before he has to start wearing a jacket all the time. He’s laying across a bench annotating _A Handful of Dust_ for his British Literature class. He’s fairly invested in the story, considering he’s almost finished with the book and he only technically has to read until the end of part two. He’s distracted by the sound of a camera shutter, and looks up to see Steve has just snapped a picture of him.

Bucky laughs. “That would have been so creepy if it were anyone but you, man. Where did you get a camera?”

“Peter let me borrow his. Our next project for class is mixed media, so I’m going to do photography with something else. I’m still not sure yet,” Steve answers as he lifts Bucky’s legs so he can sit down. He places them on his lap once he’s settled.

“I take it you’re enjoying having free periods now?” In ninth and tenth grade at Lehigh, students have to sit in proctored study halls where nobody actually gets work done, but juniors and seniors are allowed free periods instead. The level of productivity remains the same.

“Yeah, but I don’t actually get work done. What motivates you to do things?”

“The fact that if I don’t start during my free periods, I won’t get any sleep at night.”

Steve gives Bucky a pitying look. “That’s depressing.”

“Well that’s the reality of my annoying schedule.”

“You need to cut yourself a break, Buck. You don’t want to burn out.”

“Says the person who didn’t want to leave the art room last week because his sketch of a bowl of fruit wasn’t perfect!” Bucky pushes Steve’s shoulder with his foot.

“I freely admit that I’m stubborn, though. I don’t think you’ve ever used the word stubborn to describe yourself.”

“And you’re not going to get me to start.”

Steve laughs. “Exactly my point. But I have a feeling that’s why we’re such good friends.”

Bucky grins and takes a moment to just look at Steve, his face bright as he scrolls through pictures he’s taken on Peter’s camera.

“You two look cozy,” Natasha says as she and Clint enter the courtyard.

Steve lifts the camera as Bucky moves his legs off of Steve’s lap. Clint giggles while Natasha rolls her eyes.

“Steve was just scrolling through pictures while I read this book for English. What’s cozy about that?” Bucky mumbles.

“That’s not really what it looked like from far away,” Clint comments, sitting down on the ground next to the bench.

“You know, Foggy Nelson came up to me the other day and asked if you guys were a thing,” Natasha adds nonchalantly.

Steve’s eyes bug out of his head. It happens for a split second, but it happens long enough for Bucky to notice. Steve is a tolerant person, but how is it supposed to make Bucky feel when he makes a face at the mere mention of someone thinking they’re a thing?

“Why does Foggy Nelson care if we’re a thing?” Steve questions.

“I don’t think he does, I’m almost certain he was asking on Karen’s behalf,” Natasha responds.

Bucky snorts, “Of fucking course Karen wants to know.”

“Dude, can you quit it? You don’t know her,” Steve retorts.

“Do you know her?”

“I know her better than you, because at least I’m giving her a fucking chance!”

“Bucky, I want a snack!” Clint shouts before Bucky says something stupid. “Walk me to the school store.” He gets up and pulls Bucky off the bench and back towards the building.

“Wow, Clint. Really subtle,” Bucky comments as they make their way to the school store.

“I wasn’t kidding about the snack, though. What else is free period good for?”

“Studying?”

“Don’t use school to distract from the matter at hand, which is your weird jealousy of Karen Page.”

“I so don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“Bucky, there’s no reason to be jealous of Karen. Steve doesn’t even like her,” Clint says as he purchases a bag of Chex Mix.

“You don’t get it.”

“You’re right, I don’t get it. But what I gather is that you really like Steve and you’re used to being the only one who likes him, so all of the attention he’s getting this year is weird for you.”

Bucky doesn’t say anything. He hates it when Clint is right. “It’s just so disheartening. I mean, they don’t see what I see. They just see a good-looking baseball player. I see Steve. I’ve always seen him. It’s not fair.”

“You know, instead of getting upset every time Karen or any girl gets brought up, you could just tell Steve how you feel,” Clint suggests.

“I can’t tell Steve how I feel! I don’t want to jeopardize what we have. I am somewhat content with the way things are now.”

“I don’t think you telling him would really affect you guys in the long run, but if you don’t want to tell him, then you have to stop being a dick. In all honesty, that would probably spoil things between you guys even more.”

Bucky sighs. “Yeah, that’s true. It’s really annoying when you’re right.”

“I have to be right sometimes. Do you just want to go to lunch now? It’s basically time and I can text Nat to bring our stuff.”

“Dude, why did you buy a snack if you were just going to eat lunch?”

“I can eat this at lunch too, Bucky, jeez.” Clint starts to make his way to the cafeteria and Bucky sighs and follows after him.

Clint and Bucky get settled at their usual lunch table and after about ten minutes, Natasha and Steve arrive, Natasha dragging Clint’s backpack with her.

“Thanks, babe,” Clint says as Natasha sits down next to him.

“Don’t call me babe,” she says. She doesn’t look up as she opens her lunchbag.

Steve sits down next to Bucky. “Hey,” he mumbles.

“Hi,” Bucky answers.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you. It was uncalled for.”

“Steve, you don’t have to apologize. Karen has done nothing to me, I was out of line. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’d feel better if you accepted my apology though,” Steve smiles.

“Okay, punk, I accept your apology.” He punches Steve’s arm as a gesture of solidarity.

“Awww, isn’t it great when friends make up?” Clint gushes.

“Yeah, yeah, quit it Barton.” Bucky thinks about throwing a piece of popcorn at Clint, but then decides he would rather eat it.

“Barnes. Barton. Rogers. Romanov,” Tony says as he walks up to their table.

“Stark,” Clint replies.

“Is it alright if I sit?”

“No need to ask, Tony. You’re always welcome,” Bucky smiles.

“Awesome.” Tony sits down on the bench next to Clint. Bucky looks at Steve and Natasha, notices their confusion, and makes a mental note to tell them about what went down over the weekend. He shoots them a look that says to just go with it.

After a few minutes of small talk, Peggy finally shows up to the table. If she’s surprised to see Tony at the table, she does a good job of masking it. She takes her usual seat next to Steve.

“Honestly, it’s as though Logan can’t take a hint. I do not want to go out with him,” she says as she starts into her sandwich.

“Still? That’s not okay,” Steve responds.

“I wish he would get that through his thick skull.”

“You know,” Tony starts after a moment of silence, “Logan might leave you alone if you tell him you’re with someone else.”

“That would be a lie,” Peggy says cautiously. Bucky prepares himself to cringe, afraid of where this is headed.

“I mean, it’s a lie, but it gets you out of an uncomfortable situation. If you wanted, you could even say that you were with one of us,” Tony continues.

“That would involve more lying,” Natasha mumbles.

“Who did you have in mind?” Clint asks, after attempting to stifle a laugh.

“Well, clearly not you, since the whole school knows you’re with Miss Frowny-Pants, Steve and Peggy already had a thing, and Bucky is gay so that just leaves me, I guess.” Tony smiles at Peggy after he lists off his reasoning.

Peggy takes a deep breath before speaking, “That’s kind of you, Tony, but I can handle this by myself, thanks.”

“Okay, well just let me know if you change your mind.”

“I won’t.” She focuses on her sandwich and doesn’t look at Tony again for the rest of lunch.

“I hear it’s supposed to rain tomorrow,” Clint contributes, which doesn’t revive the conversation like he intended. Natasha just pats his arm and shakes her head.

“How’s the musical going?” Bucky asks Steve and Natasha after yet another awkward silence.

The conversation picks up again after that, as Steve talks about overseeing set builds on the weekends, and Natasha gripes about how it shouldn’t be that difficult to do a jazz square. She then goes on to complain how Karen Page and Peter Quill, who’s playing Seymour, seem to be having a hard time getting along. Steve makes a joke about how it’s hard to get along with people who date sadistic dentists. Nobody but Natasha understands the reference. Even though some of the things that they say seem like a different language to Bucky, it’s so nice to watch Steve light up when he talks about something he’s excited about.

As lunch ends, Bucky says goodbye to his friends, but pulls Tony in his direction and starts walking.

“Walk with me, Stark,” he says.

“It doesn’t really seem like I have a choice,” Tony answers as he pointedly removes Bucky’s arm from around his shoulder.

“That’s true. You are smart. So, you’ve got to stop this flirting thing with Peggy.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play coy with me, Tony. We can all tell you have a crush on her. But the way you’re going about it is all wrong. Especially today. She hates it when other people try to fight her battles for her. She knows what she’s doing, she can handle herself.”

“I know that.” Tony stops in his tracks. Bucky turns around to see that his friend has taken offense to his words.

“Do you?”

“Yes!”

“Then show her that. If you respect her, she’ll respect you, because I really doubt you’re going to get her to like you.”

“That’s a very defeatist attitude, Barnes. At least I try when it comes to matters of the heart.” Tony starts walking towards the chemistry classroom. Bucky runs after him.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? If this is about Brock again, Tony, I swear to God…”

“I’m not talking about Rumlow,” Tony responds as he stops in front of the classroom.

“What?”

“I’m talking about Rogers.”

Bucky blushes and runs a hand through his hair. “What? Where do you come up with this shit?” He walks past Tony into the room, not looking forward to this upcoming interrogation.

“Now look who’s playing coy? And doing a piss-poor job, I might add. I saw the way you were looking at him at lunch. It was sickening, really.”

“Well what else can I do? He’s not interested in guys!”

At that comment, Tony makes a face that Bucky can’t quite decipher, so he ignores it and focuses on getting ready for the lab activity. As he’s writing things in his planner, Brock takes his seat at their lab bench.

“How was your weekend?” he asks as he pulls out his notebook.

“Weird, but good. How about you?” Bucky smiles.

“I can’t complain.”

“Hey, Rumlow,” Tony interrupts from the lab bench behind them, “If you want to have a weird, but good weekend this week, you should come to the party at my place on Saturday.”

“What happened to your dad not letting you have a party until later in the month?” Bucky questions.

“Leave my father to me, Barnes. So, what do you say, Brock? Bucky will be there.”

“I will?”

“It sounds cool, man. I’ll try and stop by,” Brock answers.

Bucky throws an angry look at Tony, who just smiles and shrugs. A minute later, Bucky gets a text that reads: _If you say it’s never going to happen again, then what’s the problem? It’s just a party, calm your tits._ Tony has a point. And there’s also a chance that Brock might not even show up. He said he would try and stop by. He must have other plans. Bucky tries to put these thoughts out of his mind so he can focus on the lab experiment without blowing anything up.

**…**

Bucky hasn’t been this drunk in a while. He tries to think back to the last time that he had been this drunk, but the commotion around him doesn’t really allow him to be introspective. This is the first big party of the school year, which would explain the extra amount of sweaty bodies that aren’t normally present. Tony had said that he wanted to throw the first real party of the year, and he’s making good on his word. Bucky decides to search for some of his friends, so he holds his cup over his head and elbows his way through the crowd.

He doesn’t get very far before he runs into Brock, who is also pretty drunk.

“Hey, man!” Bucky shouts over the music as he pulls Brock in for a hug.

“Hi! I see the alcohol is treating you well,” Brock responds. He looks a bit flustered.

“Tony can afford the good stuff. Also, I know where he keeps the vodka.”

“That’s always a plus.”

They don’t speak for a while, but instead lean on a wall in Tony’s living room and observe the party. There’s really not much to see. It’s just a lot of people grinding and spilling their drinks. Some of the stuff in the living room looks a bit too expensive to have beer spilled on it so frequently. The Starks must pay a fortune in cleaning bills.

Bucky takes a sip of his vodka before breaking the silence, “Hey, Brock, how come I never see you at parties?”

“I don’t know. I go sometimes, but it’s not really my speed.”

“You’re not saying you would rather drink alone, are you?”

Brock chuckles. “I mean, I do drink alone sometimes, but I’m into smaller hangouts, not really giant parties.”

“Oh, that’s good. I thought it might be because of me.” Bucky definitely wouldn’t have said that if he were less inebriated.

Brock looks confused. “Maybe you should take a break from the vodka, James.”

“I’ll be fine. I will finish what I have, and then I’ll stop. I’m a responsible drunk, Rumlow.” He moves from the wall and proceeds to stumble a bit before Brock catches him.

“A responsible drunk, huh?”

“Yup, and don’t you forget it!” Bucky regains his balance and then looks back at his companion.

He’s never really noticed how Brock’s eyes light up when he laughs, but then again, he’s never had a long enough conversation with the guy to notice that. Bucky isn’t sure how long he’s been staring, but Brock eventually takes notice. He gives a bashful smile, and Bucky’s stomach does a flip. Is that the vodka? He hopes that the vodka is also fueling the sudden urge to kiss Brock again. He starts to lean in, but is yanked away at the last minute. The quick movement spills the rest of his drink. He turns to see a disapproving Natasha glaring at him.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she asks, smacking Bucky on his arm.

“Ow! You are deceptively strong,” Bucky moans.

“I’m a dancer, moron. Now answer my fucking question.”

“I was having a very nice conversation with my lab partner, until you rudely interrupted it and then spilled my drink.”

“You don’t need anything else to drink, Barnes. I’ve done you a favor.”

They’re interrupted by Clint who runs into the living room and starts drunkenly babbling, “Nat, why are you frowning, don’t frown this is a party. What happened?”

“This idiot here was about to kiss Brock Rumlow,” Natasha responds.

Clint gasps. “James Buchanan Barnes! What’s gotten into you? What about--”

Natasha stops Clint from continuing his sentence by smacking him on the arm as well.

“Guys, what’s the big deal? You’re always telling me to get laid, why are you stopping me now?” Bucky asks, trying to defend himself from his friends’ glares.

“Because, dude, you already kissed this guy and it didn’t work out. Don’t make the same mistake again! You have to deal with him for the rest of the school year,” Clint shouts.

“That is not what you were telling me last week when you said I was probably going to hook up with him again!”

Clint and Natasha exchange glances before he speaks again. “Well this week is just different! I’ve changed my mind. I’m allowed to do that!”

“You need to get yourself together, James,” Natasha chimes in.

Realization settles over Bucky, and he sighs. “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks for saving me from making a fool of myself. I’m going to take a walk.”

He elbows through the throng of people to leave Tony’s living room in search of Brock. He wants to clear the air before his judgment gets the better of him. It’s a good thing that he finds Steve instead. He’s sitting on the stairs in the entryway, talking to Peter Parker and Trish Walker, a senior girl that also takes art class. Bucky doesn’t really know Peter or Trish, but he might as well sit since they all have a friend in common.

“Buck, there you are! I was wondering where you went,” Steve says as Bucky takes a seat on the first step.

“I was in the living room observing people. And I ran out of vodka, so I had to get more.”

“Bucky, you know Peter and Trish, right?”

“I’ve heard enough about you that I feel like I know you,” Peter says with a smile.

“You’re in British Literature, right?” Trish asks.

“Yeah, you sit behind me!” Bucky shouts with realization. Trish looks a bit taken aback. “I apologize for my drunkenness, I’m not always like this.”

“It’s okay,” she chuckles.

Steve keeps talking with Peter and Trish, but Bucky can’t really contribute, since they’re talking about the musical. Trish is in the show and Peter has been helping out with the set. Steve makes another joke about sadistic dentists that makes Peter and Trish laugh. It just makes Bucky wonder what the fuck this show is about. After a while Bucky tunes out the conversation, although he can’t help but notice that Trish somehow keeps managing to scoot closer to Steve. Eventually Peter goes outside to call his boyfriend, and Bucky is left feeling like a bit of a third wheel. When did Steve learn to flirt? What’s happening? How much vodka has been consumed? Bucky doesn’t feel so great.

“Hey, Buck, are you okay? You look a little green,” Steve frowns.

“What? I look green? That’s just a thing in cartoons,” Bucky snorts. He regrets snorting, seeing as it makes his stomach churn.

“Maybe you should go lie down,” Trish suggests. Bucky would roll his eyes if he weren’t afraid that a sudden movement might cause him to throw up.

“Hey, hey, hey! No throwing up down here, the cleaners make us pay extra for the hardwood!” Tony shouts as he pops up from around the corner. He grabs Bucky and ushers him as quickly as he can to the upstairs bathroom. They miraculously make it to the toilet before Bucky finally throws up.

“Okay, don’t move. I’m going to get you a bottle of water and bread,” Tony says before running back downstairs. Bucky moans in response and continues to hug the toilet, even though he doesn’t think he’s going to be sick again.

“I’m never drinking vodka again,” Bucky utters as Tony brings him a water bottle and a loaf of bread.

“Whatever you say, pal.” Tony answers, gently patting Bucky on the back.

**…**

The next morning Bucky jolts awake, because he has absolutely no idea where he is. That turns out to be a mistake, because the movement hurts his whole body. He surveys his surroundings. He’s in a fluffy queen bed, and he’s cradling a half-eaten bread loaf. His water bottle is sitting on the nightstand. He slowly reaches for it and starts drinking what’s left. It dawns on him that he’s still at Tony’s, in one of the guest rooms. It helps that there’s a framed magazine cover of Howard Stark hanging above the TV.

Steve walks by the room and then backtracks and leans on the door frame once he realizes Bucky is awake.

“I feel like I got hit by a truck,” Bucky croaks.

“That’s what drinking most of a bottle of vodka’ll do to you,” Steve smiles. He enters the room and sits on the bed next to Bucky.

“What happened after I was sitting on the stairs?”

“Well, Tony took you to the bathroom since you had to throw up. He ran up and down the stairs for about twenty minutes getting you things. I think you asked for me at one point, but by the time I got upstairs, you were already asleep, so I helped move you in here.”

Bucky nods in response and contemplates whether or not his stomach would be able to handle a piece of bread.

“I think you owe Tony, man. He was a regular Florence Nightingale for you,” Steve continues, “I wasn’t the most attentive friend last night. I probably should have stopped you when you kept going back to get more.”

“Stevie, don’t do that to yourself. I shouldn’t have been drinking that much anyways. I don’t know what came over me, really. If I hadn’t found you though, I think I would have made out with Brock Rumlow again.”

Steve laughs. “Really? Then it’s a good thing you found me.”

Bucky smiles as he takes a piece of bread. “How was the rest of your night?”

“It was good. Peter came back after you went upstairs, but just to say goodbye. He went to go hang out with Wade.”

“Wade’s his boyfriend?”

“Yeah. He’s in college. Peter met him over the summer while he was in the city.”

“Ah,” Bucky replies, trying to feign interest. “So what happened after Peter left?”

“Well, Trish and I kept talking, and then… um… we kind of made out.” Steve blushes as he finishes his sentence.

Bucky is quiet. “You kind of made out?”

“You know what I mean, dude. We made out. And then she asked me if I wanted to go out next Friday, and I said yes.” Steve starts to light up as he talks about it.

“Are you sure she wasn’t just drunk?” Bucky immediately regrets the words that have come out of his mouth, especially once he sees Steve’s offended face. “Oh my god, that came out so wrong.”

“Trish doesn’t drink, Bucky. She was completely sober.”

“I didn’t mean that, Steve. You shouldn’t listen to me when I’m hungover, you know that. I’m happy for you, I really am.”

Steve smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes like normal. “I know you are. I’m going to call my mom, that’s the whole reason I came upstairs.” He gets up from the bed and starts to leave the room.

“Okay.”

“There’s coffee downstairs, but I think you should drink some more water before you have any of that,” Steve says as he disappears down the hall.

Bucky slowly lifts himself from the bed and heads downstairs as fast as his body will allow. He is met with the smell of a very greasy breakfast and enters the kitchen to find Clint and Natasha eating eggs and bacon and drinking coffee. Tony is at the stove making more food.

“Ladies and gentlemen, James Barnes is back from the dead!” Tony announces as Bucky grunts and pours himself a cup of coffee.

“You were a mess last night, man. I’ve never seen you so bad,” Clint comments. “I took your phone and texted your mom to say you were sleeping here so she wouldn’t get worried.”

“Thanks, Clint. And thanks for helping me out last night, Tony. I would have thrown up all over Trish’s feet if it weren’t for you.”

“You’re welcome. It was nothing I haven’t done before. Rhodey has had one or two nights like yours, and Pepper taught me well.” Tony puts a plate of food in front of Bucky.

“Still, I feel like such an asshole. And I’m not just talking about last night.” Bucky says after taking a bite of his eggs.

Clint, Natasha, and Tony exchange a look.

“Did you say something rude to Steve about Trish?” Natasha asks.

“I didn’t mean to say it out loud,” Bucky mumbles.

Natasha sighs and gets up from the table. They hear her footsteps as she goes upstairs.

“At least you know you’re an asshole,” Clint says as he pats Bucky’s arm. Bucky just nods.

“So where was Peggy last night?” Tony asks, clearly wanting to change the subject.

“Seriously, Tony? Still? This is getting to be really sad,” Clint gripes.

Bucky doesn’t contribute to the conversation anymore. He picks at his eggs and loses himself in thought. He wants to be happy for Steve, he really does. It’s just hard, especially ever since he’s sworn up and down that he can’t tell Steve how he feels.

**…**

About a month into Bucky’s tenth grade school year, he took Steve to his first high school party. Steve seemed a bit nervous, not really knowing what to expect, but Bucky assured him that he would be right there the whole time, and they could always leave.

That was also the night that Steve met Natasha for the first time. For some reason, Bucky had felt awfully jealous of her that night, seeing as she and Steve have so much in common. They’re both artsy, and Bucky didn’t know how he could compare. So he kept drinking. He was surprised Steve had something to drink, considering how small he was. It’s not as though it was Steve’s first time experiencing alcohol. The year before, Bucky had stolen a bottle of whiskey from his parents’ liquor cabinet when they were home alone. It was made very clear that night that Steve is most definitely a lightweight.

About an hour and a half into the night, Steve and Bucky got to talking while Natasha was in the bathroom. They were standing by a wall and trying not to be toppled over by their drunk classmates. Bucky wished that they could move, since they were very close to the speakers and the bass throbbed, making it harder to hear what Steve was trying to say. When Natasha came back from the bathroom, she gave Bucky a weird look. He was too drunk to see the devious glint in her eye that when he sees now, he knows to run in the other direction.

After looking at Bucky, Natasha turned her gaze to Steve, who was also pretty drunk.

“What is it, Nat?” Steve asked, a little worried his new friend was grinning like the Chesire Cat.

“Do you guys want to play dare or dare?” she questioned, a glint of madwoman still in her eye.

“Don’t you mean truth or dare?” Bucky asked.

“Truth or dare is lame. Dare or dare is extreme!”

“Sure! I’ll try it,” Steve shouted over the music. He turned to Bucky and gave him a pleading look. A look that made Bucky’s stomach do a giant flip. He hoped that fact hadn’t shown on his face.

“Why the fuck not?” Bucky finally replied.

Natasha got very excited. “Okay, James, I dare you to kiss Steve.”

Bucky and Steve both blushed fiercely. There had certainly been times where Bucky had considered kissing Steve in the past, but he figured it was because he just wanted someone to kiss, and Steve was always there. Now that the opportunity was actually presenting itself, he wasn’t so sure about it anymore.

“Hey, there’s no such thing as backing out in dare or dare! You have to kiss,” Natasha shouted at them.

Steve smiled sheepishly at Bucky. His blond bangs were hanging in front of his eyes. They stared at each other, not knowing what to do. Finally, Steve stepped in and stood on his toes and met Bucky’s lips with his. It was a quick kiss, but it was enough to leave Bucky even more confused than before.

“Great! Dare or dare is over!” Natasha shouted. She downed what was left from her red solo cup and ran off, presumably to cause more trouble.

Bucky and Steve stood for a moment, neither of them knowing what to say. He really wished he could decipher the look on Steve’s face.

“I’m going to get some air,” Steve said, as he excused himself and hurried away, pushing quickly through the crowd. Bucky stood for another moment, still in shock. He then followed in Steve’s direction just to make sure he wasn’t having an asthma attack or anything. He finally found him in the front yard, which was basically deserted except for the stoners scattered across the grass discussing politics.

“Hey, are you okay?” Bucky asked slowly.

“Yeah, it was just getting a little stuffy in there.”

“Oh.” They stand in silence, staring up at the clear sky.

“That was my first kiss,” Steve said after a minute.

“You don’t have to count that as your first kiss, Steve.” Bucky blushed. He had no idea that Steve had never kissed anyone. It had never been something they talked about.

“I want it to count, though.” Steve gave a small smile. Bucky felt more butterflies in his stomach.

Without really thinking, the next thing Bucky knew, his lips were pressed against Steve’s again. This time it wasn’t just a peck. It turned into a full-on makeout session.

Bucky had a little bit more experience kissing than Steve did, but still not very much. He had kissed a couple of girls, but those had only been pecks, and they were part of the reason Bucky began to realize he wasn’t attracted to women. His five minutes in the bathroom with Brock were most definitely preferable to the few girls he had kissed in the past.

He wasn’t completely sure why, but for some reason he felt like this was his first important kiss, and he wanted it to be special for Steve. The kissing became more intense. Bucky put more pressure to Steve’s lips. It was a bit sloppy at first, but after a while, they found a good rhythm. Steve easily slid his tongue into Bucky’s mouth, allowing it to explore what had once been off-limits. Bucky couldn’t believe how right this felt. Then he actually realized how right it felt and abruptly pulled away. He opened his eyes and looked at his best friend.

Steve’s face was completely flushed, his glasses were fogged up, and he was struggling to catch his breath. What had just happened? Bucky was no longer sure of his actions, especially once he realized the impact this might have on their friendship. Because friends certainly don’t make out with each other, no matter the state of their sobriety.

“What is it, Buck?” Steve looked confused.

“Nothing’s wrong! I’m very drunk. I’m going to get some water, do you want some water?” Bucky rambled. Flustered, he hurried back into the house without waiting for Steve’s answer.

Bucky couldn’t make sense of what was happening. He had kissed Steve. And he really enjoyed it. He was also pretty sure that Steve had enjoyed it, too. He could have very easily ended the kiss. What did any of this mean?

Bucky took a deep breath as he reached the kitchen. He filled two cups with water, in case Steve actually had wanted some. He had every intention of going back to the front yard and telling Steve that even though he wasn’t sure what had just happened, it meant something to him. He picked up his pace before he decided to chicken out. He held his cups over his head in case he got jostled by a member of the crowd.

As Bucky made his way back to the front yard, he noticed a girl standing next to Steve. She had shoulder-length curly brown hair, and her smile was highlighted by her red lipstick. Bucky knew immediately who it was. It was none other than Peggy Carter, and she had just moved to New York from England. She and Steve seemed to be having a really good conversation. It looked as though Steve had just successfully told a joke, because Peggy laughed, not at him but with him. Bucky saw a look of genuine confusion flood over Steve’s face. No girl had ever given him the time of day, and now a really pretty one seemed to take a liking to him.

Steve turned his head to meet Bucky’s eyes. He discreetly nodded his head towards Peggy and gave a thumbs up. Bucky gave a small smile in return and lifted one of his cups. He suddenly felt very silly standing in the doorway holding two cups of water. He walked back into the house and found Natasha. She seemed drunker than when she suggested they play dare or dare, so he handed her the extra cup of water.

Bucky sat with Natasha on a couch in the living room, as he made sure she drank her water. Clint ran over to the couch and plopped down between them.

“How’s it going?” Clint asked, taking a sip of Bucky’s water.

“I think I’m gay,” Bucky answered. He handed Clint the rest of his water.

“Yeah, man. You didn’t know?” Bucky gave him an exasperated look. “That’s not the correct response when someone comes out to you, is it?”

“No, Clint. It’s not.” Bucky playfully punched his drunk friend on the arm, knowing that Clint supported him no matter what.

“So where’s Steve?” Clint wondered aloud.

“He’s in the yard talking to a girl.” Bucky tried not to sound upset.

Clint started giggling. Bucky ignored him.

“Our little boy is growing up!” Clint sang. He then proceeded to fake cry, while Bucky tried not to actually cry.

When Peggy and Steve started dating a few months later, Bucky pretended it didn’t bother him. He came out to his friends when they were sober, and everything went on as normal. Except for the fact that Bucky knew for sure that he very much had feelings for Steve. And it was clear that they had silently decided to never bring up their kiss ever again.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No songs in this chapter, but there are many more to come.  
> Come find me on [Tumblr!](http://mylifeiskara.tumblr.com/)


	3. November

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Featuring One Direction's new album, and presenting Lehigh Academy's Upper School Production of Little Shop of Horrors!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your kudos, comments, and subscriptions! I'm definitely feeling motivated to keep writing, and I'm going to try and stick to updating once a week.

The end of October was an incredible struggle, what with all the things Bucky had to get ready to turn his NYU application in by November 1. He emailed Ms. Hill with so many questions about how to turn in his test scores that he ended up just going to her office so she could talk him through it. The College Board website is much more confusing than it needs to be. He probably has about five different versions of his CommonApp essay saved on his computer, and a sixth final draft that took all of the best parts of the first five. It was surprisingly coherent, but that’s what he was going for. Even with all of his regular schoolwork, Bucky managed to finish his application before Halloween while still getting a little sleep.

As a reward for finishing his application, Bucky pre-ordered One Direction’s new album. November 13 had originally seemed too far away, but it finally arrives, and Bucky is so excited that he stays up to listen to the album once before going to sleep. When his alarm goes off in the morning he jumps out of bed and rushes to knock on Rebecca’s door. When it opens, Bucky is met with a very disgruntled sister. It’s clear that she had still been sleeping, since she’s dragging her comforter with her.

“What is it?” she groans.

“Happy Made in the A.M. Day!” Bucky shouts.

“Oh my god.” Rebecca rolls her eyes and shuts the door in her brother’s face.

“Don’t be like that, Becca! Our car ride is going to be scored with a musical masterpiece!”

An hour later when it’s actually time to leave, Rebecca seems to be in a better mood. She gets comfortable in her seat in the back. Bucky starts the car and plugs in his music. The beginning of Hey Angel fills the car, and Bucky takes a moment to close his eyes and dance in his seat a bit.

“Are you going to be too distracted to drive?” Rebecca questions.

“I already listened to it, I’m just appreciating this amazing introduction,” he answers as he pulls away from their house.

“I can’t with you.”

It takes one utterance of the words “hey angel” before Bucky emotes audibly again.

“Harry Styles calling me an angel is what I live for,” he mumbles.

“Good for you,” Rebecca says. Bucky can see her smirk in his rearview mirror.

“You know, there used to be a time when you would get just as excited as I am over this band.”

“Yeah, then you made it weird, so I’ve decided we can no longer be in the same fandoms.”

“That’s fair.” They ride quietly and listen to the music as they drive to Steve’s house.

The musical is fast approaching, and it definitely shows that Steve is stressed. He’s been drinking coffee, which he almost never does, since he has to stay late to run paint crew and facilitate the extra set builds. He’s also been spending his free periods in the shop instead of doing his homework like Bucky suggested, so all of that gets pushed to the evenings. Bucky’s known Steve long enough to know that he needs a certain amount of sleep, so it’s no wonder his two cups of tea a day haven’t been cutting it. He’s also started wearing his glasses again, because he doesn’t have the energy to put his contact lenses in when he gets ready in the morning. When they reach Steve’s house, he’s sitting on the curb with a Thermos in his hand, struggling to stay awake. Bucky honks the horn, causing Steve to jump up and head for the car.

Once Steve is in the car, Never Enough starts to play, and it’s clear from the expression on his face that the song has partially woken him up.

“So much is happening in my ears right now,” he says as he pushes his glasses up on his face.

“Happy Made in the A.M. Day!” Bucky cries as he starts driving again.

“What?”

“One Direction’s new album,” Rebecca clears up.

“Why are there so many different sounds? It’s like a barbershop quartet, but it’s not! There’s too much going on!”

“You just need to let it happen, Stevie. Sit back and listen, and you’ll be rewarded.”

“Or I could just take a nap until we get to school,” Steve offers. He shuts his eyes and immediately opens them again. “Oh, I almost forgot. I don’t need a ride home today.”

“Aw, you’re not going to be in the car for Made in the A.M. round two?”

“We’re going to listen to it again?” Rebecca groans.

“Think of it as payback for blasting Take Me Home for weeks on end,” Bucky retorts.

“I have to stay late for some more set build and to work on an English project. My mom said she could pick me up when she’s on her way home from work,” Steve explains.

“Okay, but you need to promise me you’re going to get more than a few hours of sleep tonight. You need your beauty rest,” Bucky smiles.

Steve smiles back. “I’m trying, Buck. I really am. And it’s not like we’re behind schedule with the set or anything, if anything we’re a little bit ahead of schedule. I just think it would be best if almost the entire set were ready for when we start tech this weekend. It’s no fun to add everything in at the last minute.”

“Steve, you’ve got this. You’ll get everything done, I have total faith in that. Just remember to take a breath every now and again.” Bucky takes a hand off the wheel and pats Steve’s leg.

Steve lets out a much needed sigh and closes his eyes for the last few minutes of the ride. As Bucky looks in the rearview mirror he notices Rebecca shaking her head. They’ll have to have a talk about her sass later.

Steve says goodbye to Bucky and Rebecca in the senior lot and heads straight to the art room. Bucky wishes there were some way he could get Steve to be less stressed, but he has no idea how to go about that without it annoying him.

“Bucky, you need to cool it with the flirting,” Rebecca scolds as they walk up to the building.

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” Bucky answers. He doesn’t know why he tries to play coy. Shit like that never works with Rebecca. And it’s not like he was actively trying to flirt.

“Seriously, it’s so sad. Either kiss him or stop acting like a lovesick puppy.” With that, she speeds up and heads into school. She’s quickly replaced by Clint and Natasha, who come up next to Bucky on either side.

“Does your sister like you?” Clint asks.

“I think so, but sometimes I wonder,” Bucky replies. He looks over at Natasha, who is just as tired as Steve, or maybe a bit more, since she actually has to stay for rehearsals every night.

“Nat, are you with us?” Clint checks as he notices Bucky’s concerned face.

“I think I’ve forgotten what sleep is,” she says, taking a sip of her coffee.

“Have rehearsals not been going well?” Bucky asks.

“They’ve been going fine,” Natasha says as they enter the building. “I just wish that people would take into consideration whether or not they have rhythm before they audition for a musical.”

“It’s all going to work out. You’re doing the best you can,” Clint offers.

“I guess. I just don’t like my work being tied to people with two left feet.” They stop at her locker, and Clint gives her a quick peck on the lips before walking with Bucky to Russian.

“Don’t ever tell her she looks like a zombie,” Clint says once Natasha’s out of earshot. “I did that when I got in the car this morning, and she almost made me walk to school.”

Bucky stares at his friend in disbelief. “You’re dumb.”

“Eh, she loves me anyway.”

“You’re lucky she does.”

“Hey, what are you trying to say?” Clint feigns being offended.

“Nothing, man. You’re both lucky to have each other,” Bucky grumbles as he takes his seat and tries not to seem bitter.

**…**

By the time lunch rolls around, Bucky is hoping Steve is in a better mood than he was this morning. He waits by his locker as usual, but Steve looks surprised to see him.

“What are you doing?” he asks as he approaches.

“Are you so tired that you’ve forgotten what time of day it is? It’s lunchtime, this happens everyday.”

“Shit, did I forget to tell you this morning?” Steve’s face is very apologetic.

Bucky is confused. “What did you forget to tell me?”

“Trish asked me if I wanted to ride with her to Panera for lunch today, now that juniors have off-campus lunch privileges on Fridays,” Steve says, a blush creeping up his face.

“I didn’t know you and Trish were still a thing,” Bucky answers. He’s really grateful his voice doesn’t crack.

“Well, we’re trying to keep it on the down-low, at least until the musical is over. We didn’t want things to get weird if anyone found out.”

“Anyone being Karen?”

“Yeah.” Steve chuckles and runs a hand through his hair.

“Why didn’t you tell me, though?”

“We’ve never really talked about stuff like that before, Buck. And you acted so weird the first time I told you about her that I was afraid to bring it up again.”

“Oh. Well, just because we’ve never talked about stuff like that before doesn’t mean we can’t start now,” Bucky suggests.

“Ready to go, Steve?” Trish asks as she comes up behind him.

“Yeah, let me just grab my wallet.” Steve takes his wallet out of his locker as he puts his books away.

“Oh, James, I really liked your _Handful of Dust_ presentation in class today. It was so insightful to connect the themes from _Brideshead Revisited_ ,” Trish comments.

“Thanks. It helps that I’ve read _Brideshead_ twice. It’s my favorite Waugh book, but _Handful of Dust_ is definitely a close second.”

“That’s cool. You sparked my interest, I think I’m going to read it.”

“Cool. You guys have fun at lunch,” Bucky says, a half-smile on his face.

Steve throws Bucky a salute and a smile as he and Trish walk out of the building and towards the senior lot. Bucky sighs and leans his head against the lockers.

“Are you alright, James?” Bucky opens his eyes to see Peggy in front of him.

“Not really,” he admits.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“If it’s all the same, I just want some pizza.”

“Well let’s go to lunch then, shall we?” Peggy smiles and takes Bucky’s arm as they walk down the hall.

“You’re being very nice to me, considering I’ve never been that nice to you,” Bucky mentions as they near the cafeteria.

“You haven’t been too bad, don’t worry. I’ve seen the way you treat people you actually dislike, and I’ve learned that it’s not the same as how you act around me,” Peggy explains.

Bucky stops walking. “Jeez, am I really that much of an asshole?”

“I mean, you’re not a complete asshole. I think it’s mostly that you’re not very approachable.”

“But still, you’ve never given me a real reason to be rude to you, so I’m sorry.”

“It’s really fine, James. I like that you’ve been trying to give me a chance. And honestly, I think I understand why you were hesitant about me at first.”

“What do you mean?” Bucky asks as he serves himself some pizza.

“It’s nothing. Forget I said anything.” Peggy starts off to their table, leaving Bucky in the lunch line. Once he’s paid for his food, Bucky heads over to sit with Peggy and Clint.

“Where’s Natasha?” he asks as he takes a bite of his pizza.

“She had a lunch meeting with the dance captain,” Clint says.

“Wow. Our friends have gotten too busy for us,” Bucky mumbles.

“It will be nice to have them back once the musical is over,” Peggy adds.

“Clint, you’re with Natasha a lot. Do you have any idea what the show is actually about?”

“Nope. She talks about it, and I really try to listen, but it makes no sense.”

“I don’t think _Little Shop_ is a show I would see if I didn’t know anyone involved,” Bucky muses.

“That’s how I feel about musicals in general,” Clint says.

Peggy’s head snaps in Clint’s direction. “You don’t really mean that do you?”

“Don’t go there, Peggy. He’s very serious about this,” Bucky warns.

“I can’t accept that. You just haven’t found the musical that’s right for you yet,” Peggy decides.

“You can try, but I’ll warn you that nobody has succeeded yet,” Clint boasts.

“We’ll see about that. I’ll try all year if I have to.”

“Good luck with that.”

Bucky chuckles as Peggy continues to list off musicals and Clint turns up his nose at all of them. He sure does know a lot of stubborn people.

Speaking of stubborn people, Bucky doesn’t feel like doing much work during his free period and roams the hallways looking for Steve instead. He’s been taking sort of a breather ever since he finished his college application. He finds Steve hunched over his sketchbook in the art room, so Bucky opens the door and walks in.

As the door swings open, Steve looks up and smiles briefly, but goes right back to his drawing.

“That was a hasty greeting. And it was barely a greeting, I might add,” Bucky jokes.

“Sorry. I was in the zone. I’m actually using my free period to do something productive for once, be proud of me!” Steve says, showing off a detailed sketch of Lehigh’s theater.

“Wow, Steve. That’s amazing.”

“Thanks. I’ve been working on it all week. I’m just glad to be finished with it. Also it’s due at the end of the day.”

“That’s a good reason to finish, then,” Bucky laughs. “How was your lunch?”

Steve lights up. “It was good. It’s really easy to talk to Trish. I’m excited for you to get to know her once the musical’s over.”

“So you guys really are a thing?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“I was, Buck. I was going to tell you first. I didn’t want you to be caught off guard. I just never knew how to bring it up, and I didn’t want to jinx it,” Steve babbles.

“I know I acted weird about it at first, but I just want you to be happy,” Bucky smiles and reaches out to touch Steve’s hand.

“I know, Bucky. You’ve always been there for me, I don’t expect any less.”

“We should talk about stuff like this more often.”

Bucky’s comment elicits a grin and a laugh from Steve. Bucky smiles and is barely aware that his hand is still on Steve’s until the door to the art room opens and another student walks in. After that, they quickly release their hold on each other so as not to seem suspect.

“I should head back to the library. I can slack on some things now that my application is in, but since a lot of my chemistry assignments I have to do with Brock, I can’t leave those until the last minute,” Bucky rambles.

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Steve smiles as he looks back at his sketch and looks for places to add last minute touches.

Bucky takes another deep sigh as he closes the art room door. Maybe Rebecca was right. He probably should cool it with his flirting, even if it isn’t always intentional. From the sound of it, Steve seems to really like Trish, and he hasn’t been this way about a girl since Peggy. He should really just leave it alone and try his best to be happy for his best friend.

**…**

One week later, Bucky is in the audience with Peggy and Clint at opening night of _Little Shop of Horrors_. The house lights go up as the first act ends. Bucky doesn’t move for a moment as he tries to take in what he just watched. He eventually turns to his companions.

“Am I the only one who’s confused and maybe a little horrified?” he asks.

“No,” Peggy and Clint answer.

“But maybe we should have expected to be horrified, seeing as the word horror is in the title of the show,” Clint thinks aloud.

“At least now we finally understand that joke that Steve kept making about sadistic dentists.”

“Maybe this is one of those shows where we’re supposed to be a little confused,” Peggy offers.

“Welp, I can’t waste anymore intermission time thinking about this. I’m going to buy a snack,” Clint says. He jumps up and follows the crowd out of the theater.

“Other than the fact that I’m not completely sure what’s going on, everyone seems to be fairly talented. I love the dancing,” Peggy says as she looks over the program.

“And the set looks great, as I knew it would,” Bucky gushes.

“Definitely. It’s very colorful.”

“I think that adds to the confusion.” They sit in silence for a bit as they look at their programs.

“I’m excited that since the musical is almost over that we’ll finally get to really meet Trish,” Peggy says.

“I have a class with Trish, and I’ve known her since the seventh grade,” Bucky replies, not looking up from his program.

“Well you don’t know her as Steve’s girlfriend. And from what he’s told me, he’s really excited about her.”

Bucky finally looks up. “Isn’t it a bit soon for them to label it?”

“I don’t think so. They’ve sort of been together for a month, James.”

“Yeah, but a month isn’t really that much time.”

“James, Steve doesn’t need you to protect him. He’s perfectly capable of handling things like this on his own. It’s alright for you to be concerned, but you have to find a way to do it that doesn’t hurt Steve’s feelings.”

Bucky doesn’t know what to say, so he just grunts and pulls out his phone. He sends Steve some random emojis that he hopes get across the confusion he’s feeling at this show. Clint comes back from the concessions line and hands Bucky and Peggy a chocolate bar.

“I was going to get you guys your own, but those things were expensive,” Clint says as he sits down and stuffs his M&Ms in his pocket and opens his bag of cookies.

“It’s the thought that counts,” Peggy answers, eyeing Clint as he makes quick work of his snacks.

The show continues and once it’s over, Bucky is just as confused as he was at the end of act one. They meet Steve and Natasha in the lobby. Clint goes up to Natasha and gives her a hug.

“Listen, Nat,” he begins, “I love you and the dancing was great, but what the fuck was that show?”

Natasha laughs. “It’s not like I picked it!”

“Well here’s hoping I don’t have nightmares for the next week,” Bucky chimes in, pulling Steve into a hug. “Why are you good at everything you do?”

“If only that were actually true. I’d have a much better grade in pre-calc,” Steve smiles. “My mom is here, do you want to say hi?”

“Yes! I love your mom!” Bucky congratulates Natasha and then runs after Steve.

Sarah Rogers is hands down one of the best people that Bucky has ever known. She’s a nurse and she works in the pediatric ward at the hospital, so she was a huge help when Bucky and Steve were younger and one of them would do something stupid and end up getting hurt. She gives great advice and makes the most delicious brownies. Bucky’s always been grateful to have her as a second mom. As he nears them, he can see that Sarah’s dirty blond hair is pulled back in a ponytail. She’s still in her scrubs, which means that she probably rushed to come see the show once her shift at the hospital was over. Steve turns and waves Bucky over, and he doesn’t need to be told twice.

“James! How are you, it’s been too long,” she says as she gives Bucky a hug.

“I’m alright, Miss Sarah. I would have been over, but Stevie here has been so busy with this that I’ve been feeling neglected,” Bucky jokes.

She laughs. “Well it sounds like you’ve been equally as busy. Steve was telling me about your college application.”

“Yeah, I applied early decision to NYU, I should be hearing back some time in December.”

“Well keep me posted, and I’ll make sure that Steve lets me know the next time you’re coming over so that I can have some brownies ready.”

“For sure! You know how I feel about your brownies.”

“We’d better get going. I’ll call you later, Mom, but I’m probably going to sleep over at Nat’s,” Steve says as he pulls Bucky away from his mother.

“That’s fine sweetie. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She gives him a kiss and waves at Bucky as they walk away.

“Where are we going?” Bucky asks.

“Didn’t Nat tell you about the cast party?”

“She mentioned it, but I didn’t think I was allowed.”

“You’re allowed. And you and Peggy are designated drivers, so no drinking tonight.”

“It’s probably for the best. I still haven’t recovered from all the vodka I drank last month.”

After a few more congratulations and a twenty minute drive to Peter Quill’s house, Bucky is leaning on a wall with a soda and talking to Steve and Trish. He’s doing his best to be agreeable, seeing as Trish is probably going to be hanging out with them for the foreseeable future. She’s nice, so it doesn’t seem like it will be too torturous to be around her. At one point, Trish excuses herself to take a lap, leaving Steve and Bucky by themselves for a while.

“So,” Steve says.

“So?” Bucky asks after he takes a sip of his soda.

“What do you think of Trish?”

“You don’t have to ask for my approval, Steve. You can date whoever you want.”

“I know that, but how do you like her?”

“I mean, I sort of know her, since she’s in my grade, but she seems nice and I’m excited to get to know her better.”

Steve lights up. “I’m glad. Nat’s been on board since the beginning, and I think the others will like her, too.”

“For sure.”

“How have you been, Buck? I haven’t really seen you this week.”

“I’m okay. Now that my application is in, I’m just sitting around waiting to hear back, and the anticipation is killing me.”

Steve chuckles. “That’s how I felt all this week while we were in tech. I was so afraid something was going to break for no reason, I was just waiting for it to happen.”

Bucky laughs as he pictures Steve sitting in the audience and biting his nails as rehearsal goes on uneventfully.

“Steve!” a voice shrieks from behind Bucky. He turns to see a drunken Karen Page running towards them. Bucky clings to the wall, so as not to be knocked over as she tackles Steve. Had this been last school year, Steve would have fallen over, but he only staggers a little as he makes sure Karen doesn’t fall.

“Hi, Karen,” Steve says, his face quickly reddening.

“Hi, Karen,” Bucky shouts. Karen turns around to look at him, acknowledging him for the first time all year.

“Hi, James. How are you?”

“Not great, Karen. Do you want to know why? We were having a conversation and you rudely interrupted it. And this isn’t the first time you’ve done that this year. But you wouldn’t know that, because you can’t stop staring at Steve for enough time to remember that there are other people on this fucking planet!” he snaps.

Karen and Steve are stunned silent. After a second Karen mumbles an apology and walks away. It’s at that moment that Bucky realizes he fucked up.

“Bucky, what the hell was that?” Steve yells.

“Well see, the thing is--”

“Don’t play around Buck, this isn’t a joke! That was so incredibly rude.”

“Oh, and it’s not rude for Karen to only start acknowledging you this year when you’ve been in the same grade since kindergarten? And why are you the only one she ever talks to? You’re usually not by yourself when she’s around,” Bucky points out.

“That doesn’t make it okay for you to stoop to her level. What you said is true, but that doesn’t give you reason to be so awful to her.”

“I just think that--”

“Please don’t try and justify your actions! You’re in the wrong. And not just about Karen.”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “Dude, if this is about Trish, I already told you that I like her and I’m happy for you.”

“Sure you said that, and I’ve really tried not to let what you first said bother me, but I haven’t been able to let go of it. I just keep thinking, why would my best friend say something so hurtful about someone I like? I would never do that to him if he liked someone.” Steve’s voice trails off.

“What do you want from me?” Bucky asks once he finds his voice.

“I want you to be my friend, same as always. But I don’t want to be friends with Bucky the asshole.”

“Steve, I’m just looking out for you, man. I don’t want to see you get hurt!”

“Bucky, I don’t need you to fight my battles for me. I didn’t need you to protect me when I was small, and I certainly don’t need you now!”

Bucky is quiet. He does his best to hold back tears.

“Well, since you don’t need me, maybe I should just go,” he finally says.

“I think that’s a good idea,” Steve says, not looking in Bucky’s direction.

“Alright then. I guess I’m leaving.”

Steve doesn’t say anything, so Bucky turns and heads for the door. He somehow makes it back to his house before he actually starts crying. He turns on Made in the A.M. and sits on his bed. He checks his phone and sees a bunch of texts from Clint and Peggy and three missed calls from Natasha. He ignores them both in favor of thinking about how much of an idiot he is. He hears a knock on his door and Rebecca steps into his room.

“Hey, Mom asks if you can turn down your music or put in headphones. She says she hears enough of Perfect on the radio,” Rebecca says.

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Are you okay? You’re a lot earlier than we thought you’d be.”

Bucky takes a breath before speaking. “I got into a fight with Steve.”

“Shit. What did you do?”

“Becca, why do you automatically assume that I’m the one that did something?”

She gives Bucky the stink eye. “Really?”

“You’re right, Steve is perfect. I yelled at Karen Page and we got into an argument about her and Trish, so I left.”

“Well you guys don’t fight often, but I’m sure things will blow over in the morning.”

“I don’t know. It felt different this time, Becks. I’m scared.”

“Why don’t you give him some space and then text him tomorrow or something?”

“I might wait until the weekend is over. He was pretty angry.”

“Whatever you think is best. I’m going to bed, so maybe headphones are the way to go,” Rebecca says as she leaves Bucky’s room.

Bucky sighs and puts in his headphones, hoping Rebecca is right about this.

**…**

Bucky only talks to Clint on Saturday who tells him that Steve is really upset.

“You fucked up, dude. I don’t really know what to tell you,” Clint tells him over the phone.

Bucky decides to wait and text Steve on Sunday evening, hoping he’ll be a little less mad by then. He doesn’t get a response. After a few hours of waiting, he finishes his homework and goes to bed.

On Monday morning, he wakes up to a text from Steve. His stomach flips as he opens it, but his mood changes once he reads it: _Hey, I don’t need a ride to school today. Nat is going to get me before she picks up Clint_.

Bucky sighs and replies: _Okay, see you at school_. No response.

When Bucky tells Rebecca she can sit in the front seat, she doesn’t say anything. They ride to school quietly as Bucky realizes just how much he fucked up.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this ruined anybody's weekend. Things will get better eventually, I promise. In the meantime, enjoy the songs from this chapter: 
> 
> [Hey Angel](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/onedirection/heyangel.html) (I couldn't find a good YouTube link for this one, so if you press the play button at the top of the lyrics page, it should get you to better audio.  
> [Never Enough](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQVmfsbg_kI) (The audio is a little better on this one, but still a bit iffy.)  
> [Dentist!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoj-5JFR0IY) (To put that sadistic dentists joke into context!)  
> [Perfect](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho32Oh6b4jc)
> 
> And as always, you can follow me on [Tumblr!](http://mylifeiskara.tumblr.com/)


	4. December

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The angst has arrived. Also, Tony enjoys being himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all your kudos, comments, bookmarks, and subscriptions. This chapter is a bit late (and a little short), and if you would like someone to blame, you can blame Sebastian Stan, because he somehow managed to take over my life last week. I'm being a camp counselor for the next two weeks, so even though I hope to keep on track with my writing, I doubt that will actually happen, considering I'm working with first and second graders all day.

It’s been a few weeks since the fight, and Bucky and Steve have barely spoken. Bucky had hoped that Thanksgiving break would be a good breather, and things would be back to normal after that. No such luck. Steve’s been carpooling to school with Natasha since the musical ended, so Bucky only sees him briefly when they sit with their friends at lunch. Peggy sits in between them, now. Bucky has been contemplating finding somewhere else to sit, but he’s not sure where he would go, so he stays and listens to Tony ramble about nothing in particular.

About a week into December, Steve brings Trish to sit with everyone at lunch. Bucky greets her, but then sits quietly while everyone else gets to know her. Things seem to be going well until Tony says something inappropriate. Steve goes red, and Peggy has to hold him back so nobody ends up decapitated. After that incident, Steve and Trish go sit elsewhere at lunch. It’s not long after before Peggy and Natasha follow, leaving Bucky with Tony and Clint.

“So,” Clint begins one afternoon as he sits down, “It looks like you won me and Tony in the divorce. Granted, you and Steve’ll have to share custody of me, since he got Nat.”

“Can we not talk about this like it was a break-up, please?” Bucky grimaces.

“What exactly happened again? I’m still confused,” Tony questions.

“Basically, Bucky’s jealousy exploded all over Karen, and now he and Steve aren’t speaking,” Clint answers. “But the problem is, since Steve has no idea how Bucky feels about him, he just thinks Bucky was being an asshole. Granted, he was being an asshole, but Steve doesn’t know the whole story.”

“Dude, stop talking about me like I’m not here!”

“I hope he realizes that this whole thing could have been avoided if he just listened to us and told Steve how he felt,” Tony says, ignoring Bucky’s plea.

“Hey! Seriously, guys, I already feel sucky enough that this happened. You’re my only allies right now, please, let’s talk about somebody else’s drama.”

Tony raises his hand. “I have drama!”

“We’re all ears,” Bucky sighs.

“So I drunk-dialed Pepper this weekend.”

“That’s not drama, you’ve done that before,” Clint groans.

“But this time, she answered.”

“Shit. What did she say?” Bucky asks.

“First, she asked if I was okay. I don’t really remember the middle of the conversation, but I vaguely remember asking her if she wanted to hang out when she’s home over winter break, to which she replied she wasn’t sure if she’d have time. Then she told me to get some sleep and that was that.”

Bucky and Clint are silent. How on earth are they supposed to respond to that?

“I suddenly don’t feel like talking about myself,” Tony continues. “Can we go back to Bucky’s drama?”

“No!” Bucky says.

Tony turns to Clint. “Do you have any drama?”

Clint just shakes his head, since he’s in the middle of stuffing his face with a sandwich.

“Then what are we supposed to talk about?”

“Tony, there doesn’t have to be drama for there to be a conversation,” Bucky points out.

“But what’s the point of life without gossip?”

“You’re incredibly shallow,” Clint says. Bucky looks over and notices that his sandwich is gone.

Tony beams. “It’s a Stark family trait.”

Bucky rolls his eyes as he packs away the rest of his lunch. “I should go.”

“We have twenty more minutes,” Clint whines.

“Yeah, but I told Brock I’d meet him so we could work on chemistry homework.” He looks up when his companions are silent. They share a similar look of confusion.

“You guys sure do meet outside of class a lot,” Clint points out.

“Yeah, because he’s my lab partner.”

“Karen is my lab partner, and I speak to her only as much as I need to. We don’t do homework together,” Tony remarks.

“If you must know, Brock asked me if I understood one of the questions on the homework. I did, and I said I would explain it to him before class. We’re coexisting. That’s what this year is all about for us.” Bucky gets up and starts walking away.

“And soon enough coexisting is going to become fucking,” Tony says to Clint once he thinks Bucky’s out of earshot. Bucky considers letting Tony know that he heard him, but he figures it’s probably a better idea to ignore it altogether.

As Bucky walks through the hallway to the library, he looks over his chemistry notes just to make sure that he really can explain the problem to Brock. He looks up just in time to avoid running into Steve.

Steve blushes and runs a hand through his hair. “Sorry, I was lost in thought.”

“It’s okay,” Bucky murmurs. Steve half smiles and hurries on his way, leaving Bucky alone in the hallway.

The rest of Bucky’s walk to the library is spent wondering why he didn’t apologize to Steve for being an ass. Steve is always quick to apologize, and he never does anything wrong. It isn’t fair, and Bucky wishes that this year would play out differently. He stares at his notes, not really taking them in until Brock comes to sit next to him.

“Are you alright, James?” he asks as he takes out his notebook.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just been a long day.” He smiles and looks over to Brock’s homework. “What was your question?”

Bucky notices Brock give him a look that suggests he doesn’t believe that he’s okay, but he looks at his paper and points to the question that was giving him problems.

**…**

In the weeks that follow, Bucky is even more subdued without Steve’s company. Rebecca says it’s the saddest she’s seen him since One Direction announced they were taking a break. At this point, he and Steve are completely avoiding each other, since their last run in was too awkward, and Bucky didn’t always want to be in a weird mood. Brock finally stopped asking him if he was okay about a week after the first time he had, probably realizing he wasn’t helping Bucky very much.

Since he can’t find anything better to do, Bucky has taken up the habit of watching One Direction’s old X-Factor video diaries. He’s tired of his friends walking on eggshells around him, so he sits in his room most of the time instead of interacting with Clint or Tony, the only friends who are really talking to him right now. He’s sitting on his bed listening to Fireproof when he hears a knock on his door. He’s surprised to see his mom as she opens the door, one of her arms behind her back.

“Hi, Mom,” Bucky sighs.

“That was quite a sigh,” she chuckles as she walks further into the room and sits down on his bed.

“Well, rewatching all of 1D’s X-Factor video diaries was probably a bad idea in my emotional state.”

“Are you and Steve still not speaking?”

“Nope. I think it’s going to be a while until he’s ready to forgive me.”

“He’ll get there eventually. Just give it time. I doubt you two will be upset with each other for much longer.” His mom rubs his back, like she used to when he was sad when he was little.

“I don’t know, Mom. It was made pretty clear after our argument that I’m a sucky human being.”

“You’re not a sucky human being, you just make some questionable choices sometimes, as all of us do.”

“You’re supposed to say that, you’re my mom. I don’t mean to make you feel bad, but I doubt there’s anything you can do right now that’ll help me feel any better.”

“Not even if I give you this envelope?” She smiles and pulls a large envelope out from behind her. It’s from NYU.

Bucky sits up. “When did this get here?”

“It was there when I checked the mail. Open it up.”

Bucky takes a deep breath as his mom hands him the envelope. Usually a big envelope means good news. He pulls out the first sheet of paper and a smile breaks across his face.

“Dear Mr. Barnes,” he begins, “Congratulations! We are pleased to offer you a place early decision in New York University’s Class of 2020. Holy shit. I got in, holy shit!”

Bucky’s mom smiles, and doesn’t even scold him for cursing. “I’m so proud of you, sweetheart!” She pulls him in for a hug.

“I’m going to college!” Bucky shouts, still trying to fully process what was happening.

The next day, Bucky brings his acceptance envelope to school so he can show Ms. Hill. She gives him a big hug and congratulates him, saying she knew he could do it. He then shows Clint, Tony, and Natasha. He would have just shown Clint and Tony, but Natasha happens to be standing at his locker when Bucky goes to give him the news.

Once the school day has ended, Bucky is at his locker trying to figure out what he needs to bring home for the weekend. He sees Peggy coming towards him and has to do a double take since they haven’t spoken in a while.

“Hi, James,” she greets him.

“Hi, Peggy. How’s it going?” Bucky smiles.

“I’m alright. But I guess you’re a bit better than that, considering you got into NYU. Congratulations!”

“Thanks! Did Natasha tell you?”

“She did. And I know what your next thought is, and no, she didn’t tell Steve. But I think you should.”

“I don’t know if he’d care very much,” Bucky shrugs.

“James, don’t be stupid. You know he’ll be happy for you. Even if he is upset, he still wants things to go well for you.”

“Well, his mom did promise to make me brownies once I heard.”

“Well that’s reason enough. Miss Sarah’s brownies are delicious. I’d better get going, but I’ll see you around.” Peggy smiles and pats Bucky’s arm as she heads toward the front door.

Maybe Peggy’s right. No, he knows Peggy is right. He can’t think of an instance in which she’s ever been wrong. Steve will want to hear his good news. It’ll also give Bucky a chance to start apologizing. And who would he be to pass up a chance to eat Miss Sarah’s brownies? He shuts his locker and heads off to find Steve. He finds him at his locker, but he is certainly not alone.

Bucky tightens his grip on the envelope in his hands. It’s all he can do to keep from running over and separating Steve’s mouth from Trish Walker’s. Bucky isn’t really sure how to feel. He and Steve aren’t speaking, and honestly, he had forgotten that Steve and Trish were kind of, sort of dating. He definitely wasn’t expecting this sort of reminder, since Steve has always been a little weird about PDA.

Bucky stands still and watches as the pair stand by Steve’s locker and talk after their lips have parted. Eventually, Steve grabs his sketchbook and closes his locker door. Trish takes Steve’s hand and they exit the school building. Bucky curses, as his eyes well up. He turns in the opposite direction and takes quick strides for the courtyard. This time of day it’s usually deserted, so he plops down next to a bush and lets his tears fall. He almost doesn’t notice how cold it is outside, but he’s a bit too preoccupied to care.

“James?” a voice calls.

Bucky quickly looks up to see Brock walking towards him. He ducks his head again and attempts to wipe the tears from his face. Brock doesn’t say anything about it, he sits down next to him.

“Why are you out here without a coat? Aren’t you cold? Oh, while we’re at it, did you understand the pre-lab questions that Mr. Morello gave us?” Brock rambles.

“I haven’t had a chance to look at the pre-lab questions yet,” Bucky answers, keeping his eyes on his envelope.

Brock notices Bucky’s eyes shift. “What’s in there?”

“I applied early decision to NYU. I got in.”

“That’s great, congratulations!” Brock shakes Bucky’s shoulders in his excitement, but then pauses. “You just got into college. Why do you look so down?”

A few more tears fall down Bucky’s face. “It’s not about that. It’s just boy trouble.”

“Uh oh. What happened?”

“It’s nothing, really.”

“James,” Brock says, taking Bucky’s hand, “It’s clearly something if you’re this upset over it.”

Bucky sighs. “Have you ever met someone who, in your eyes, can just do no wrong? Like, everything they do is perfect? I got in a fight with this guy because he started seeing someone else, and I guess I was jealous, so I took it out on him. Then he lashed out at me. It’s been about a month and we haven’t really spoken, and I’ve been beating myself up thinking, what should I have done differently so this wouldn’t have happened? And I’m just now realizing that this isn’t completely my fault. Sure, I’m an asshole for saying anything in the first place, but he’s just as much of an asshole for the way he’s making me feel. I just… I hate that someone has such a hold on me, and I’m so confused, because this illusion has shattered, and I’m not sure what’s going to happen next. Sorry, now I’m rambling. I’m being stupid.”

“Hey, you’re not stupid. You got into NYU for crying out loud! I mean, you’d be valedictorian if Tony Stark didn’t go here. And we’ve all been there when it comes to boy trouble. If he makes you feel this way, he’s clearly not worth it,” Brock muses as he rubs Bucky’s shoulder.

“If only that were as easy to believe as it is to say,” Bucky sniffs.

“I hope it does get easier. I’m no expert, but I do know that everything always ends up working itself out. So if it’s meant to happen, I’m sure he’ll find some way to work his way back into your life.”

“Thanks, Brock. If anyone were to find me crying by a bush, I’m glad it was you.”

Brock chuckles. He goes silent and takes a moment to stare at Bucky’s face. Bucky notices his eyes drift a little, as he licks his lips. Bucky leans a bit closer as if to signal that it’s okay and he brushes his lips against Brock’s. Brock pulls away so he can move closer before he kisses Bucky again.

Bucky hasn’t kissed anyone in a while, and he isn’t really prepared to kiss anyone on this particular day. His lips are a bit chapped, especially compared to Brock’s. Bucky can also taste his tears, which makes him feel self-conscious. It would appear that Brock doesn’t really seem to care, since they’re still kissing.

Bucky is ready to keep going, until he hears someone clearing their throat. He and Brock pull apart, only to see their chemistry teacher crossing his arms.

“How’s it going, Mr. Morello?” Brock says, trying to diffuse the tension. It doesn’t help. Bucky stares back down at his envelope.

“Mr. Rumlow, Mr. Barnes. Do you really think this is the time or place?” Mr. Morello asks.

“Probably not,” Bucky mumbles.

“Quite right, James. You two can continue this in private, and preferably not at school.” He starts to walk away, but stops and turns back around to speak, “And gentlemen, you two are going to be lab partners for the rest of the year, no matter how this relationship transpires.”

“We understand, sir,” Brock answers.

“Very good. I’ll see you in class.” With that, Mr. Morello is on his way, leaving Bucky and Brock in silence for a moment, before they both burst out laughing.

“Well, he’s not going to be able to look at us the same way again,” Brock laughs.

“Aw, who gives a shit? That was probably the most interesting thing that’s happened to him all day. He’ll have some great gossip for the teachers’ lounge,” Bucky shrugs. He takes another look at Brock. He has a really nice smile. He tries to hide it behind what he claims is a beard, but let’s be real, it’s barely a five o'clock shadow.

“Well, I should get going. I promised my mom I’d be home early today,” Brock says, seeming reluctant to leave.

“And I should probably go inside and get my coat, seeing as it’s fucking freezing out here. And my sister’s probably wondering where I am,” Bucky rambles. They both stand up.

“Well, then. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, James,” Brock says.

“Call me Bucky.”

“Okay. Bucky.” Brock smiles again.

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.” Bucky leans in for one last kiss before hurrying back inside. He can’t help but smile, as he walks to his locker. Rebecca is waiting for him there.

“What are you so happy about?” she asks when he’s close enough to hear.

“I’m going to college. I’m not allowed to be excited about that?” he lies. He throws on his coat and shuts his locker. “Let’s get going. Mom and Dad said I could pick a restaurant for dinner.”

“You’d better pick something good,” Rebecca whines as they walk to Bucky’s car.

“I’ll pick what I want to pick, stop complaining.” They walk in silence for a minute.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you and all, but I just think that you don’t do a good job when it comes to picking restaurants,” she says as she slides into the passenger seat.

“When you get into college, Mom and Dad will let you pick a restaurant. And I won’t be there to complain, so you’ll have it easy.”

Bucky starts the car and turns on his Good Mood playlist. The familiar tune of Kiss You washes over the car. As he’s leaving the senior lot, he spots Brock walking to his car. They smile and wave at each other. Bucky blushes a little. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices Rebecca staring at him.

“Do you need something, Becks?” he asks, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Nope. I just want you to know that you’re weird,” she responds as she pulls out her phone.

“Thanks. I’ll take that as a compliment. Now please let me listen to my favorite 1D song in peace.”

All the way home, Bucky tries and fails to wipe the stupid grin off his face. There’s no reason for him to be this happy, yet somehow, he is. He’s pretty sure kissing releases endorphins or something, so maybe that’s it. Goddamnit, he deserves to be happy today. He got into NYU. He gives up on trying to stop smiling and keeps driving home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here are the songs from this chapter:  
> [Fireproof](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bXTbfnWPqk)  
> [Kiss You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4cdfRohhcg) (Fun fact: Kiss You is my favorite 1D song, because it is just fun.)
> 
> And as always, come find me on [Tumblr!](https://mylifeiskara.tumblr.com/)


	5. January

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new year brings about new friendships and discoveries, but the same old stubborn Bucky Barnes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I got pretty sidetracked, and I can't even blame Sebastian Stan this time. Thank you for all your kudos, bookmarks, and subscriptions, though. I'm super motivated to write, since I want to finish this before the summer ends.

Bucky spends most of his winter break in his room, but he occasionally leaves to go hang out with Tony and Clint. He really just needs time alone to think. And his thinking basically revolves around Brock and Steve. He hadn’t told anyone that he and Brock had kissed again, mostly because it would be met with an “I told you so” from Tony and Clint grimly shaking his head. He hadn’t talked to Brock since the kiss happened, either. He also hadn’t told anyone besides Brock about how he’s feeling in regards to Steve. Although Bucky hurt Steve’s feelings, Steve hurt his too, and it didn’t seem fair that his friends were so quick to take Steve’s side. Sure, Clint and Tony are still talking to him, but they think the fight was just Bucky being an asshole.

The day before they go back to school, Bucky gets a text from Clint asking for a ride in the morning. Bucky agrees and drives to Clint’s house the next day with Rebecca in tow. Clint gets in the car and pats Bucky on the back.

“Dude, you almost dropped off the face of the planet! You missed so much,” Clint says as he buckles his seatbelt.

“I was busy thinking,” Bucky replies.

“About what?”

“If I’m cool enough to pull off Harry Styles’ aesthetic,” he lies. It isn’t a complete lie, since he did think about that a little bit.

“Welcome to carpools with Bucky Barnes,” Rebecca mutters from the backseat.

“I’m not gonna lie to you, dude. I don’t think you could do it,” Clint answers.

“Well I’ve already started growing my hair out, so maybe I’ll prove you wrong.” Bucky pushes a strand of hair behind his ear and continues driving.

“Okay, then. On a different note, I have something to say about Steve.”

“I’m not sure I want to hear anything about Steve right now, Clint. I’m working on trying to get over what happened, as well as get over him, and you bringing him up just isn’t helping.”

“But I think you’ll want to hear this.”

“No, Clint! I don’t want to talk about it.”

Clint huffs. “Okay then, I won’t tell you.”

“Thank you for respecting my wishes, for once in your life.” They drive the rest of the way to school in silence.

After they’ve entered the building, they stop at Clint’s locker. Bucky leans against the neighboring locker as he waits for Clint to unpack. As he waits, he looks down the hall to see Tony and Peggy walking side by side, engrossed in what seems like a pleasant conversation. Bucky blinks to make sure his vision hasn’t crapped out on him.

Clint notices Bucky’s confusion. “I told you that you missed a lot over break.”

“Winter break is only two weeks, how could I have missed that much?”

“Tony got really emotionally drunk one night, and cried to Peggy about Pepper for an hour, and then apologized to her for flirting so much when she clearly wasn’t interested,” Clint explains. “Then the sun came up, and it turns out they can be friends.”

“So you are alive,” Tony says to Bucky as he and Peggy stop at Clint’s locker.

“He was too busy working on his Harry Styles aesthetic to be bothered with us,” Clint jokes.

“You’re not cool enough to pull off all that floral.”

“Gee, thanks, Tony,” Bucky quips.

“Do whatever makes you happy,” Peggy chimes in. “You don’t have to listen to these boneheads.”

“Thanks, Peggy. I’m surprised you’re talking to me.”

“Why wouldn’t I talk to you? You’re my friend.”

“I don’t know, I thought everyone was still low-key mad at me and siding with Steve.”

Bucky notices Peggy’s eyes shift in Clint’s direction before she answers, “I’m not mad at you.”

“Okay…” Bucky shrugs and turns to head to his locker.

“Barnes, did you and Rumlow work on your chem paper rough draft over break? Karen insisted we meet up twice, and it was taxing,” Tony gripes.

Bucky stops in his tracks and turns around. “Shit, no!”

“Well, it’s due at midnight, you should get on that.”

“Fuck, Mr. Morello already hates us.”

“Why does he hate both of you?” Tony asks.

Bucky pauses. His friends stare at him expectantly. He very well can’t tell them that Mr. Morello caught him making out with Brock before break.

“He doesn’t like the way we format our lab reports,” he finally answers.

“Maybe you should try a different format,” Peggy suggests.

“Maybe. I’ll see you in class, Clint. I need to go find Brock.” With that, Bucky turns and runs down the hallway.

Bucky hurries through the school, hoping that Brock is at his locker. He had hoped that their first conversation since their kiss wouldn’t be like this, but they can’t really talk about it when they have a paper to write. Luckily, Brock is at his locker, which makes life easier for everyone.

“Hi, Brock,” Bucky says as he approaches.

“Bucky, hi!” Brock smiles, and Bucky’s heart beats a little faster. “How was your break?”

“I wouldn’t call it the most relaxing, but it was a break. How about you?”

“I can’t complain.”

“Cool. Hey, I don’t mean to worry you so early in the morning, but Tony just reminded me about our chem paper rough draft that’s due at midnight.”

Brock’s face falls. “Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

“What are you doing at lunch? We can eat and work on it,” Brock suggests.

“That sounds good. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not face Mr. Morello’s wrath so early in the new year,” Bucky jokes.

Brock laughs. “Agreed. I’ll see you at lunch.” He strokes Bucky’s arm and heads to his first class.

Bucky pauses. He isn’t sure what to make of that touch. Is that flirting? Does that count? The warning bell breaks him out of his thought, and he speed walks to Russian with all of his stuff, since he never got a chance to go to his locker.

As Russian ends, Clint taps Bucky on the shoulder.

“What is it?” Bucky asks as he starts walking to his locker.

“I know you said you didn’t want to talk about Steve--”

“Yeah, I don’t. Because every time you bring him up it feels like my life is starting to resemble that really angsty Larry Stylinson fic I tried to write last year, and I don’t like how that makes me feel.”

“I get that, but Peggy told me something this morning that you’ll want to hear,” Clint pleads.

Bucky gives in once he reaches his locker. “Fine. What is it?”

“Apparently, Steve and Trish fizzled out over break. Steve texted Peggy about it last night.”

Bucky acts indifferent. “Is that all?”

“Well yeah, since you won’t let me tell you the other thing.”

“Okay. Thanks for sharing. I won’t be at lunch, Brock and I are working on our paper.”

“Have fun coexisting,” Clint says before heading off to his next class.

Coexisting. That’s what he and Brock are supposed to be doing. Technically, making out is still coexisting, but probably not in the way they had thought at the beginning of the school year. Bucky pays absolutely no attention in his next few classes. He just goes through the motions, and the next thing he knows, he’s sitting next to Brock in the cafeteria staring at his lab notebook and a blank Google doc.

“Okay,” Brock says after he’s read over the instructions handout. “This shouldn’t be too bad.”

“What’s the point of this paper, anyway?” Bucky gripes. “It’s just us restating what we already said in our lab reports.”

“I’m sure he just wants to make sure that we’re retaining things for the AP.”

“And I’m sure you’re giving Mr. Morello way too much credit,” Bucky jokes.

Brock laughs. “I’m kind of glad he’s doing it. I’ve been thinking about studying chemistry in college.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’m not completely sure what I’d do, but I want to keep going with it. I got into University of Michigan early action.”

Bucky slaps Brock on the arm. “Seriously? That’s great, congratulations! When did you find out?”

“Over break. That reminds me, I should probably go tell my advisor.”

“Look at us lab partners, all college bound and stuff.”

“And, hey, this chemistry paper shouldn’t bring our grade down too much if it’s not that great,” Brock smiles.

“Yeah, but let’s hope for the best,” Bucky smiles back. He’s glad that he can be friendly with Brock now. He just wishes that he could find a good time to bring the kiss thing up, especially since he thinks he might want to do it again. But coexisting is fine for now. Or maybe even friendship.

**…**

Bucky is packing his bag at the end of the day. He’s not looking forward to all the work he has to do, especially the very extensive lab report he and Brock have to turn in by the end of the week. They’ve been getting a lot friendlier in the few weeks they’ve been back at school, but Bucky can’t help but feel some sort of tension between them, which he thinks has to do with their kiss last month. They still haven’t talked about it, and Bucky is annoyed that there hasn’t really been a good time for him to bring it up. He actually wants to talk about it, but he’s afraid to make things awkward and ruin their coexistence. It would be really hard to do homework if they ended up not speaking again.

Rebecca stops in front of Bucky’s locker. She already has her coat on, and she’s standing with her friend Kamala.

“Hey. What do you need?” Bucky asks.

“Kamala and I are working on our Spanish project tonight. I’m going to her house now. Can you pick me up at 6?”

“I guess so. Is that all, your highness?” Bucky quips.

Kamala giggles, but Rebecca just rolls her eyes and shakes her head. She turns to the door and motions for Kamala to follow her. Bucky chuckles and continues to pack his bag. He closes his locker and heads to the senior lot.

“Hey, Bucky!” Brock shouts as he runs to catch up with his lab partner.

“Hi, Brock. Where are you headed?”

“Unsure. My mom needed the car today, but I don’t know when she’s finished at work.”

“My sister went home with a friend today, why don’t I drive you?”

“That’d be great, actually. Thanks!”

“It’s not a problem,” Bucky smiles as he holds the front door open and lets Brock go through first. He can’t tell if it’s a weird thing to do or not, but it’s too late. It’s already happening. He has to move on. He keeps walking as he leads the way to his car.

Bucky still doesn’t feel like he knows Brock well enough at this point to play One Direction or any of his carpool playlists, for that matter. It briefly makes him miss Steve, but they haven’t talked for long enough that moments like this are few and far between.

“You can turn to whatever radio station you want,” Bucky remarks as he starts the car.

“The generic pop station is fine for now. My house isn’t too far away,” Brock answers.

“Cool, cool.”

They sit in silence for most of the ride, letting Drag Me Down fill the car. Bucky does his best not to hum along or dance like he normally does. He looks over to the passenger seat to see that Brock is staring at him. He turns his head back to the road in front of him, making sure that he keeps focused.

“Did you do something different to your hair?” Brock asks, finally breaking the silence.

“Well, I just haven’t gotten around to getting a haircut.” Bucky instinctively touches a hand to his hair to push some behind his ear.

“I mean, it’s not a bad thing. I like it. It suits you.”

Bucky turns his head again to see Brock smiling at him. He blushes and looks back at the road.

“The next right turn is into my neighborhood,” Brock says as he points out the street sign.

Bucky follows the rest of Brock’s directions and stops the car in front of the house.

“So…” Bucky is unsure of how to proceed.

“Do you maybe want to come in?” Brock asks as he opens the car door. “We can get started on that godawful lab report.”

“Well, I don’t have to pick Rebecca up until six.”

“I also have cookies.”

“Cookies, you say? Who would I be to pass up cookies?” Bucky turns off his car and hops out, ready to churn out this lab report and eat cookies.

Brock laughs. “Easy there, it’s not like you have to compete with someone for them.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just very passionate about food.”

Brock laughs yet again as he puts the key in the front door lock and opens it. His house looks a lot like what Bucky imagined it would, very normal and suburban.

“My mom doesn’t like shoes on the carpet, so it’d be great if you could leave them at the door. I’ll get the cookies and you can go upstairs. My room’s the second one on the left.”

Bucky toes off his shoes as Brock heads to the kitchen. He goes upstairs and sits on Brock’s bed. Brock joins him once he’s pulled out his laptop and chemistry notebook.

“Cookies for my honored guest,” Brock says, handing Bucky the plate.

“Thank you, kind sir.” Bucky gladly takes a cookie and bites into it. “These are really good.”

“Thanks. I bake when I need to relieve stress.”

“That’s really cute.” At this comment, Brock blushes and stares down at his hands. It prompts Bucky to clear his throat. “So, what parts of the report do you want to write?”

“I think I had a pretty good grasp on that research stuff Mr. Morello was talking about in class. Why don’t I write the introduction, and you can do the conclusion? We can do the procedure and results stuff in a Google doc.”

“That sounds good. I’ll share one with you.”

For a while, all that can be heard is the sound of keys clicking. Every so often, Bucky looks up from his laptop to take a peek at Brock, but he’s too busy looking at his notes to notice he’s being stared at. It’s probably better that way. After a few minutes of staring, Bucky finally works up the courage to say what’s on his mind.

“So, on a completely off-topic note,” he starts, scratching his head. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to bring up.”

Brock looks up from his notes. “That sounded really cryptic.”

“It’s not, I promise. It’s just that I have this really bad habit of kissing people and then choosing to ignore that it happened, and I’ve told myself that I have to stop doing that. So I was wondering if we could maybe acknowledge the fact that we kissed last month.” Bucky really hopes he hasn’t made things weird, but he braces himself just in case.

“I’m glad you brought it up. I was nervous you wouldn’t want to talk about it,” Brock admits. He closes his laptop and sets aside his notes.

“Well, I’m trying to turn over a new leaf. So I’m sorry for avoiding you after we kissed in the ninth grade, while we’re on the same topic.”

“There’s no need to apologize for that. We were both confused and scared, or at least I was. I can’t really speak for you. But either way, what happened that night was weird and awkward, but last month didn’t feel like that. It felt different.”

“Well for one thing, it was much better than the time we made out in the ninth grade,” Bucky jokes.

Brock chuckles. “Well, yeah. I would assume we’ve both had practice since then.”

Bucky follows suit and closes his laptop. “Definitely. I’m glad this isn’t weird. I was hoping it didn’t have to be.”

“It’s not weird. I’m happy that it happened, because I like you.” Brock scooches closer to him on the bed.

“I like you, too,” Bucky says as he scooches closer to Brock.

“Cool.”

Bucky closes the distance between them in response, tentatively pressing his lips to Brock’s. Even after getting literal confirmation that Brock likes him, Bucky is still unsure as to how to proceed. He likes Brock, he knows he does. Honestly, it seems like the perfect prescription to move on from Steve, painfully straight Steve. He really shouldn’t be thinking about Steve while he’s kissing someone else, but Brock is so cautious and hesitant that at first it seems like he wasn’t serious. Bucky pulls away just a bit, but then decides to throw caution to the wind and goes in again. This time there’s no hesitation. They only stop again because Brock pulls away.

“What about our lab report?” he asks breathlessly.

“Seriously?” Bucky gasps.

Brock nods and kisses Bucky, this time with much more confidence. Bucky easily slips his tongue into Brock’s mouth, and things pick up from there. After a few minutes, Bucky ends up laying on Brock’s bed with Brock on top of him. They both seem content to just make out and not do much else. After a while it’s clear they’ve gotten tired. Bucky sits while Brock lazily sucks on his neck. He’s having a hard time thinking about much else until he feels his cell phone vibrate.

“I need to answer that,” Bucky says, as he puts a hand to Brock’s chest so he can let him up. He sees that Rebecca is calling and answers.

“Where the hell are you?” she shouts before Bucky can even utter a word.

“What?” Bucky’s brain isn’t completely functioning again yet.

“You were supposed to pick me up at six, and it’s six thirty. Are you going to leave me stranded here?”

“Oh, shit!” Bucky starts gathering his things and putting them in his backpack. “I’m really sorry, Becca, it completely slipped my mind.”

“Just get here.” She hangs up.

“Well, time got away from us,” Brock smiles.

“Yeah, but I’m glad it did,” Bucky responds. He smooths his hair down and tries to make his clothes less rumpled. He figures the car ride to Kamala’s house will help him to look less flushed.

“So about the lab report?” Brock asks again as he walks Bucky downstairs.

“It’s on a Google doc, I think if there’s any real problem you can just text me.”

“Okay.”

“You can also text me if you want to continue what we were just doing,” Bucky smirks as he finishes putting his shoes on.

“I will definitely text you about that.” Brock kisses Bucky one last time before opening the door and letting him out.

Bucky smiles as he walks to his car, and he can’t seem to stop smiling as he drives to pick up Rebecca. Once she gets in the car, she immediately takes notice.

“Stop smiling, it’s scary,” she says as she closes the door.

“It’s a free country, I can fucking smile if I want to.”

Rebecca is silent, but Bucky can feel her eyes on him as he continues driving.

“Is that a hickey on your neck?” she asks, leaning over to get a closer look.

“What?”

“There’s a hickey on your neck, and it wasn’t there before!”

“Becca, that’s my eczema, and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t point it out.” Bucky knows she’s going to see right through the lie, but he figures it doesn’t hurt to try.

“I can’t believe you didn’t pick me up because you were too busy getting a hickey!” Rebecca shouts. “Who were you even making out with?”

Bucky turns red. His sister knows about the Brock situation due to her nosy nature, but he didn’t think about her finding out this time. In her words, he was too busy getting a hickey.

“Oh my god, you’re so dumb,” she says as she shakes her head.

“What are you talking about?”

“Why would you make out with Brock again?”

“It’s different this time.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“I’m a lot more sure than I was the last time, if that’s any better.”

“This is a monumentally sucky idea, Bucky.”

“You don’t know that. It really is different. I like Brock, and he likes me. So we’re going to keep doing whatever the hell we end up doing, because you can’t tell me how to run my life,” Bucky answers with confidence.

“Fine. Can I just ask one more thing before you go on about your life?”

“You’re going to ask anyway.”

“What about Steve?”

Bucky is quiet. He hadn’t thought about Steve, which come to think of it, is probably a good thing.

“This isn’t about Steve, Becca. I like Brock. That’s all there is to it.”

Rebecca nods and they drive in silence the rest of the way home. She seems almost convinced, which helps to convince Bucky a bit more himself.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one song this chapter, and I'm sure anyone that owns a radio has heard it:  
> [Drag Me Down](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jwgf3wmiA04)
> 
> And as always, come find me on [Tumblr!](http://mylifeiskara.tumblr.com/)


	6. February

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we revisit Peggy's quest to find Clint a musical he'll enjoy. Also, Bucky decides to go with the flow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm going on vacation tomorrow, and I thought I'd post this chapter even though the next one isn't done. I'm really trying to get this fic finished before life truly starts up again, and I think I'm on the right track. I think chapter 7 is going to end up being a bit longer. I have to see once I get more of it written, but get excited since we're almost at the end!

“I’ve done it!” Peggy shouts as she meets Bucky by his locker on a Friday afternoon.

“What have you done?” Bucky asks, hoping she hasn’t caused any trouble.

“I’ve found a musical that I’m sure Clint will enjoy.”

Bucky closes his locker. “You’re still on that? Seriously, I would have given up after he said he didn’t like _Chicago_. That seems right up his alley.”

“Exactly. I’ve been looking for some darker shows, and I think I’ve found one he’ll enjoy.”

“So what is it?” They start walking to Bucky’s car.

“ _Heathers_.”

“As in that movie from the ‘80s where the teenagers killed everyone, and Natasha convinced me to watch it once because she told me it was a rom-com?”

“Yes, James. But it’s been adapted into a musical. It was Off-Broadway a couple years ago, and even though it’s a dark show, it’s still fun. It’s perfect for Clint.”

“If you say so,” Bucky shrugs.

They get to his car, and Rebecca and Clint are already waiting for them. Bucky drops Rebecca off at home, and then he drives with Clint and Peggy to Tony’s house for movie night. Bucky is still adjusting to the fact that Peggy and Tony are getting along, but it’s much better than enduring Tony’s hopeless flirting.

Once they get to Tony’s house, they’re greeted with his “signature cocktail”. Nobody has the heart to tell him that raspberry vodka and ginger ale isn’t that original. Tony orders pizza and gets popcorn together while everyone else heads to the basement.

“Hey, where’s Natasha?” Bucky asks Clint.

“She’s chaperoning Steve at a baseball party,” Clint responds as he flops into one of the recliners.

“What is he, twelve? He doesn’t need a chaperone.”

“You’d be surprised,” Peggy mumbles.

“What’s that supposed to mean? Did I miss something?”

Clint and Peggy glance at each other.

“Hey! Don’t make those faces! Either tell me what’s going on, or stop having silent conversations with each other!” Bucky shouts.

“Excuse you, Barnes. Yelling at your friends is not proper movie night etiquette,” Tony scolds as he comes downstairs. He sits next to Peggy on the couch and hands her the popcorn bowl.

“What movie are we watching tonight, anyways?” Clint asks.

“Well, it’s not technically a movie,” Peggy confesses.

“Peggy, it’s movie night.”

Peggy ignores Clint’s comment and connects Tony’s laptop to the television so she can bring up YouTube.

“Peggy…”

“May I present to you, the Off-Broadway production of _Heathers_!” She presses play and sits back down next to Tony before Clint can protest further. Bucky laughs as Clint groans and kicks his legs around. They all know he’s too lazy to get up and turn it off, so it’s clear what they’ll be watching for the next two hours.

By the end of the musical, Bucky, Peggy, and Tony are dancing in their seats. Clint is still unenthused as the cast takes a bow.

“I don’t like the way you’ve hijacked movie night, Margaret,” Clint grumbles.

“Jeez, Barton. Take it easy,” Tony says. “Do you want more vodka? I can get you more vodka.”

“Clint, it’s only 8 PM. We can watch something else,” Bucky offers.

“I’m sorry, Clint. I really thought you would like that one. Maybe this is too Herculean of a task.” Bucky has never heard Peggy sound so defeated before.

“Was there really nothing you liked about it?” Bucky asks.

“It was more interesting than some of the other things you’ve showed me, but I just didn’t connect to it,” Clint shrugs.

Bucky turns to Peggy. “You’re probably going to hate that I’m suggesting this, but maybe he needs more of a layman’s musical.”

“There’s a reason I’ve been steering clear of those,” Peggy groans.

“I have _Les Mis_ on DVD,” Tony suggests.

“The _Les Mis_ movie has Aaron Tveit in it, doesn’t it?” Clint asks.

“How do you know who Aaron Tveit is?” Peggy questions.

“Nat and I have been watching _Gossip Girl_ together. I like to IMDb people when they guest star on things.”

“I don’t think you’d like _Les Mis_ , dude,” Bucky replies before finishing off his vodka.

“Even so, I’ll watch it. It has other familiar faces, too.”

Tony sighs and gets up to put the movie in. Peggy puts her face in her hands, and Bucky mentally prepares himself to listen to Russell Crowe’s voice for almost three hours.

About twenty minutes into the movie, it’s clear that Clint is hooked. It’s made even more clear by the fact that he starts to cry during I Dreamed a Dream. By the time the movie ends, Tony is asleep, Bucky is glad it’s over, Clint is an emotional wreck, and Peggy is still staring at Clint in disbelief.

“That was a masterpiece,” Clint says as he wipes his eyes.

“You’re joking!” Peggy shouts, which is effective in waking Tony from his nap.

Bucky pours himself some more vodka, which he had been doing throughout the movie. “You know what would get you really drunk? If you drank every time there’s a close-up in that movie. You’d be on the floor in five minutes.”

“No more vodka for you, Bucky,” Tony says taking the bottle away. “I don’t need you throwing up in my house again.”

“Of all the musicals I’ve introduced you to, the only one you like is _Les Mis_? What kind of cruel irony is this?”

“It’s okay, Peggy. You still succeeded, even if it wasn’t the way you expected,” Clint remarks.

“Everyone has different tastes. And I mean, come on, it’s Clint we’re talking about,” Tony says as he pats Peggy’s leg.

“I’m slightly offended by that, but it’s true,” Clint agrees.

Bucky tunes out the rest of the conversation, partly because he’s drunk, and partly because he wants to text Brock. Since he’s not drunk enough to have lost rational thought, he decides better against drunk texting his hook-up at 11:30 on a Friday night.

Since their initial hook-up in January, Bucky and Brock have been hanging out more outside of school. It’s usually under the guise of chemistry homework, but there’s always making out involved. Bucky has yet to tell his friends, and he’s pretty sure Brock hasn’t told anyone about it either. It’s kind of fun to sneak around, especially because it’s still sort of new. If it keeps going, he’ll probably tell Clint. He’s not sure how he feels about Tony knowing. He’s a bit of a chatterbox. Peggy wouldn’t care, and he wouldn’t tell Natasha since they still aren’t really talking. He doesn’t think he would tell anyone else. Who else would there be to tell? He lays down on the couch as Peggy and Clint continue to argue. Bucky notices Tony pouring himself some more vodka before he starts to drift off.

**...**

The next morning, Bucky wakes up in Tony’s basement. He’s wedged between Clint and the back of the couch. He doesn’t remember Clint moving over here, which means he probably fell asleep much earlier than he expected to. Bucky is also unclear as to how Clint’s phone has ended up on his chest, but he figures he might as well check the time since it’s right there. It’s almost ten, and as Bucky’s about to put Clint’s phone back, he receives a series of frantic texts from Natasha:

_I fucked up._

_I lost track of Steve last night while I was playing flip cup._

_When I found him again he was going upstairs with Carol Danvers._

_He doesn’t know I saw, so he hasn’t said anything about it._

_I’m gonna wait to see if he brings it up. I don’t want to interrogate him._

Bucky knows he shouldn’t be reading Clint’s texts, but it’s not like he read them on purpose. He was just checking the time. And honestly, he wishes he hadn’t read them. And now he can’t move because Clint is on the outside of the couch. They’re all about to wake up anyway, so he elbows his companion. Clint groans in response, but sits up so that Bucky can get off the couch and head to the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later, Tony, Peggy, and Clint are chatting up a storm over breakfast. Bucky pretends to listen, but he’s still preoccupied with the information he learned when he woke up. Steve hooked up with Carol Danvers. Great. That’s nice. He hasn’t talked to Steve in ages. Why is this news making him feel so weird?

“Bucky, are you still with us?” Clint asks.

“Yeah, I just woke up in a weird mood,” he lies.

“It was probably all the vodka,” Tony offers.

“I really just need to finish my coffee.”

Once breakfast is finished, Peggy and Clint pile into Bucky’s car so he can take them home. Once they’ve dropped Peggy off, Clint begins to bother him again.

“Bucky, what’s up with you? I know it’s not just the vodka,” Clint presses.

“It is partly the vodka.”

“But that’s not all. What’s up? You can tell me.”

Bucky sighs, knowing Clint isn’t going to let this one go. “When I woke up, I was checking the time on your phone, and I saw the texts Natasha sent you.”

“Shit. Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I mean, Steve hooked up with someone. It’s weird for all of us, considering he seems like such a relationship guy.”

“It’s not my business if Steve hooks up or not. It’s not anyone’s but his, honestly,” Bucky replies. He isn’t in the mood to talk about this, so he’s thankful that they’re almost at Natasha’s house.

“And the person he’s hooking up with,” Clint adds.

“Exactly. So go hang out with your girlfriend, and do a better job of screening your texts,” Bucky says as he pulls up to Natasha’s house.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Clint asks as he steps out of the car.

“I’m fine, Clint!”

Clint holds up his arms in defeat before closing the door and walking up Natasha’s driveway.

Bucky starts the drive back to his house. In an effort to forget about the events of the morning, he tries to remember what happened before he eventually fell asleep last night. The last thing he clearly remembers is considering texting Brock, but then deciding against it. In daylight, it doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.

Bucky lets himself into the house and right away notices that it’s empty, since nobody calls out to him. He goes to the kitchen to raid the pantry and finds a note from his parents saying they went to see a movie and that Rebecca is across the street at a friend’s house. Bucky takes a breath and pulls out his cell phone to text Brock.

_What are you up to today?_

Bucky is thankful that Brock replies right away. _Nothing really. Why?_

 _Come over_.

_Now?_

_Yeah, my parents and sister are out._

_Give me 15 minutes. ;)_

Bucky shakes his head at Brock’s winky face, but rushes upstairs when he realizes he’s still in his school uniform and that he hasn’t brushed his teeth yet today. He runs around his room, making sure that his One Direction themed items aren’t in plain sight and that there’s no underwear on the floor. He doesn’t bother making his bed, but he makes the sheets look a bit more presentable. Just as he’s finishing up, he hears the doorbell.

Bucky opens the front door and is met with Brock, who is rubbing his hands together. He smiles.

“I forgot my gloves in my rush to get over here,” Brock admits as he steps over the threshold.

“You rushed to get over here?” Bucky smirks, gently tugging on Brock’s scarf to pull him further into the house. This earns him a very quizzical stare.

“What are you doing?”

“I was trying to be sexy,” Bucky blushes. “Did it not work?”

Brock laughs. “The sad part is that it did work.”

“Oh. That’s good.”

Brock grins and presses his mouth to Bucky’s. Bucky pulls away so he can take Brock by the hand and lead him upstairs.

**…**

“Well, that was fun,” Bucky pants about two hours later. “I think it cured my hangover.”

Bucky turns to look at Brock, who is crammed next to him in his twin bed. He props himself up on his pillow to survey the hurricane of clothing they left behind.

“Yeah, sex tends to be fun,” Brock responds.

“Well duh, but I’ve never experienced it firsthand before.”

Brock sits up, a shocked expression on his face. “Really?”

“Don’t sound so surprised. I figured you had more experience.”

“I don’t, actually. I’d never done it before today, either.” His voice fades by the end of his thought.

“Oh. Then why are you so shocked I haven’t? We are two of the three out people at school I can name off the top of my head, and the other is Peter Parker, who has a boyfriend.”

“You didn’t have to have sex with someone from school. Have you looked in the mirror? You’re hot.”

Bucky covers his face in embarrassment. This only makes Brock tease him more, which results in giggling and lazy making out. After a while, Bucky has to pull away again.

“As much as I hate to say it, we should probably put some clothes on.”

“Boo!” Brock protests.

“Dude, it would be really awkward if my parents came home to find you naked in my bed.”

“It would be awkward if your sister found us, too,” Brock points out. He gets out of bed and searches for his clothes. Bucky doesn’t want to get up yet, so he feels around on the floor for his boxers.

“But significantly less awkward, since she already knows we’re hooking up.”

“Is that all we’re doing? Hooking up?” Brock asks as he puts his pants on.

“We can do other stuff if you want. You’re the one who came in and kissed me.”

“Hey, you invited me over here in the first place!”

“We could have just played video games.”

Brock rolls his eyes. “I only kissed you because you looked stupid trying to be sexy.”

Bucky feigns shock. “Are you saying you lied to me earlier?”

“I didn’t lie. I find all the things you do sexy, because you’re so cute.”

“Okay then.” Once they’re fully clothed Bucky walks Brock to the front door.

“Maybe we can go get lunch on Monday?” Brock suggests.

“I can never say no to food.”

“Cool.” Brock kisses Bucky on the cheek and heads out to his car. It is at this exact moment that Rebecca decides to walk home from across the street. She gives a curt smile to Brock as he gets in his car and drives away. Bucky waves as she comes up the walkway, but she just shakes her head as she passes him and goes into the house.

“Why are you making that face?” Bucky asks as he closes the door.

“I didn’t make a face,” Rebecca answers as she takes off her coat.

“Becca, don’t lie to me. I know you don’t approve.”

“You can put your dick wherever you want. My disapproval clearly isn’t going to stop you,” she says before heading upstairs to her room.

Rebecca’s right. Bucky doesn’t need her approval, and he can’t seem to bring himself to care that she thinks this is a bad idea. Although he doesn’t really care what other people think, he spends the rest of the day trying to subtly find ways to sit and walk without aggravating his ass. It’s probably for the best if his parents don’t find out what he’s been up to today.

**…**

Bucky is putting his things in his locker and getting his car keys and coat so he can go to lunch with Brock. He’s about to head to the senior lot when he hears his name.  
****

“Hi, James.”

He turns around to see Karen Page.

“Hi, Karen,” Bucky responds. He hopes his greeting didn’t come off as too confused. It’s not like they’ve had a full conversation before.

“Can I ask you something?” she continues.

“Go for it.”

“Am I the reason you and Steve aren’t talking anymore?” Her face is riddled with guilt, and it’s the first time Bucky realizes his spat with Steve might be affecting other people.

“Karen, you have to know, Steve and I are both stubborn as fuck. Our fight might have been about you in the moment, but honestly, even if it hadn’t happened we probably would have fallen out over something else,” Bucky reassures her.

“Oh. Okay. Even still, I’m sorry if I ever made you feel less than or forgotten.”

“Don’t worry about it. And I’m sorry for being an asshole to you.”

“Thanks. I guess I’ll see you in class.” Karen smiles before walking towards the cafeteria.

Bucky blinks and closes his locker. He’s pretty sure that’s the first full conversation he’s ever had with Karen and it wasn’t horrible. His thoughts are interrupted when Brock taps him on the shoulder. He’s wearing his black peacoat already, and his gloves are in his hand.

“Ready to go?” he asks.

“Yeah, I’m starved,” Bucky answers as he zips his coat. “Are you feeling Chipotle? I’m feeling Chipotle.”

Brock smirks. “Chipotle? How romantic.”

“Hey, Romance is my middle name.”

“Your middle name is Buchanan.”

“The Romance is silent.”

“Sure it is.” Brock reaches over to take Bucky’s left hand. He has a moment of surprise, but smiles and laces their fingers together as they make their way to the senior lot. Bucky hasn’t felt wanted in this way before, and it’s nice. He could definitely get used to this.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: The first thing I ever saw Sebastian Stan (and Aaron Tveit) in was Gossip Girl. I also just like the idea of Clint and Natasha picking TV shows to watch together, and making commentary about it while they watch, and Gossip Girl is definitely a good show to do that with. 
> 
> If you're not familiar with the musical version of Heathers, you should totally get familiar with it, since it's super cool. And here's a song from it for you to listen to:  
> [Dead Girl Walking](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EyDyxGZn_Y&index=6&list=PLA0B_ne4hZEY_HJiTypgqKtArvzcT2Ucq)
> 
> And you should totally come check out my [Tumblr](http://mylifeiskara.tumblr.com/), which is multi-fandom and fun.
> 
> Thanks so much for your kudos, comments, subscriptions, and bookmarks! I'm really excited to be sharing my brainchild with you, and I love hearing people's predictions about where they think this is going.


	7. March

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bucky doesn't realize he has a boyfriend and a lot of other stuff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a few alternate titles. I've taken to calling it The Mammoth Chapter and Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. You'll understand what I mean when you read it. Just a quick couple of notes before you start reading, though:
> 
> -The very first scene technically takes place at some point in February, but the story has been tweaked since my original outline, and I really liked the way chapter 6 ended, so I figured it would be a fun opener for chapter 7.  
> -There's just a little bit of low-key smut in this chapter (the most you're probably ever going to get out of me), so this is just a bit of a heads up if that's not your thing. It's very tame, and I didn't tag anything as underage because Bucky and Brock are both 18.

Bucky doesn’t think the whole world needs to know that he and Brock are sleeping together, but he figures he should probably tell Clint. He doubts he’ll get a great reaction, but he feels weird keeping things from his friend. Bucky knows Clint is there for him, even in times of what Rebecca would call stupidity.

Clint is at the front door before Bucky has even completely parked his car. He hung out with Natasha the day before, and since Steve was there, Bucky decided it would be best if he didn’t go.

“It’s good to know you love me so much that you miss me after just a day,” Bucky says as he walks up to Clint’s house.

“Shut up and come here so we can play video games all day.” Clint pulls Bucky into a headlock and drags him inside.

They play Call of Duty in silence at first, as Bucky works up the courage to say something.

“Hey, Clint?” he starts.

“Yeah?” Clint stays focused on the screen.

“You know how you said I probably shouldn’t hook up with Brock again?”

“I’m not sure I like where this is headed.”

“You’re not going to like it.”

At that, Clint pauses the game and looks at his friend.

“I had sex with him,” Bucky continues. He stares at his controller.

“Dude…” Clint sighs.

“And we’re still having sex.”

“What?”

Bucky works up the courage to look at Clint. “Brock and I are having sex. There, I said it!”

“Bucky, are you stupid? This is a horrible idea! What about your feelings for Steve?” Clint yells.

“It’s possible to have feelings for more than one person at once, dude. I like Brock!”

“I’m not saying you can’t have feelings for both of them, but do you like Brock as much as you like Steve?”

Bucky hesitates. “I’m not sure.”

“Then this is an even worse idea than I thought! This isn’t going to end well, and I feel like it’s going to be much worse for Brock than it will be for you.”

“I understand your concern, but I’m hoping it won’t end that way. I just wanted to tell you because you’re my friend, and it feels weird keeping things from you.”

Clint sighs. “Alright. I can’t stop you, so I might as well just let it happen.”

“Thanks. And don’t tell Natasha, I don’t want her to hurt me.”

“Oh don’t worry, she would hurt me, too.” Clint unpauses the game and they play in silence for a few minutes.

“So. Who tops?” Clint asks.

“What?” Bucky looks away from the screen in disbelief.

“Who tops, you or Brock?” he asks again.

“I am not discussing this with you!”

“So Brock, then,” Clint concludes.

Bucky feels his face redden as he tries to focus on not letting his character get killed.

“You realize I’m taking your silence as agreement, right?” Clint asks.

“Yeah,” Bucky grumbles.

“Good.” They go back to their game as if nothing had happened.

**…**

By the time March rolls around, Bucky and Brock’s thing is sort of an open secret. People seem to know about it and nobody really cares. Brock has even met Bucky’s parents. It most certainly wasn’t on purpose, but they were making out in his room one day when Bucky’s dad had decided it was the perfect time to ask if they wanted pizza for dinner. Bucky has never been more thankful that they were both fully clothed, and he takes much more care to lock the door if they ever want to go below the belt.  
****

Brock started carpooling with Bucky and Rebecca to school at the very end of February. They usually just listened to the radio, since Bucky had been self-conscious about his music choices. Finally he decides to stop giving a fuck and to just play his music.

Bucky leans over to kiss Brock’s cheek as he gets in the car. He doesn’t usually do that, so it makes sense that Brock stares blankly at him for a second.

“Good morning?” Brock says.

“So listen, man,” Bucky begins. “You’ve seen me naked.”

“Dear god,” Rebecca mumbles from the backseat.

“Where on Earth could this be going?” Brock wonders aloud.

“It’s nothing bad. I just figured I should share my favorite band with you,” Bucky continues.

“Oh, this is just about music? Why are you acting all dramatic?”

“Just wait, Brock,” Rebecca supplies, not looking up from her phone.

Bucky smiles as he scrolls through his phone to find Midnight Memories. He clicks and Best Song Ever starts to play. Once the music is going, Bucky starts to drive again.

Brock doesn’t say anything at first. Bucky glances at him and notices that his brow is furrowed.

“Your favorite band is One Direction?” Brock finally asks.

“Yes.”

“And this isn’t some elaborate joke?”

“If only it were,” Rebecca chimes in.

“Huh.” Brock goes quiet again.

“Now I’ve made things weird,” Bucky worries.

“No! It comes as a bit of a shock at first, but after thinking about you as a person, it makes perfect sense.”

“Should I be offended by that?”

Brock shrugs. “You listen to pop music, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Excuse you, sir! This isn’t just any pop music. The Midnight Memories album is a god-given gift to this Earth!” Bucky shrieks. He’s come to a red light, and turns to see that Brock is a little afraid. “Sorry, dude. I’m just very passionate about 1D.”

“It’s okay,” Brock chuckles, even though he still seems a bit scared. “So, who’s your favorite? Wait, let me guess. Is it Niall?”

“Good for you for knowing names. And although Niall Horan is a treasure, I’m more of a Harry girl,” Bucky replies.

“Huh, I would have figured Niall is more your type.”

“And what exactly is my type?”

“You know, pale and Irish.”

Rebecca snorts in the backseat.

“Will you shut up?” Bucky glares at her in the rearview mirror, fighting the urge to turn around completely. He turns back to Brock. “I hope you realize that you don’t fit the description you just gave me.”

“Yeah, because I’m the exception.”

“I’m glad you think you’re so special,” Bucky smiles.

They ride the rest of the way to school in relative silence, taking in the music. Bucky’s glad that he doesn’t have to stop himself from dancing or singing along. It makes Brock laugh, but he has such a fond look on his face, so it’s pretty clear he’s not mocking him.

Once the car is parked at school, Rebecca hops out and walks ahead to get on with her day.

“Bye!” Bucky shouts after her, knowing she’s not going to respond.

“You and your sister are friends, right?” Brock asks.

“Yeah, but I think she’s upset that I mentioned we see each other naked.”

“Does she not like me or something?”

“That’s not what it is. Nobody wants to think about their sibling having sex. You’re an only child, so you’ll never have to worry about that. And even if she didn’t like you, that wouldn’t stop me from continuing to do whatever it is we’re doing.”

Brock stops walking for a moment. “Whatever it is we’re doing?”

Bucky turns around. “What?”

“What exactly am I to you?”

“My friend?”

“That’s it?” Brock questions.

Bucky takes one look at Brock’s exasperated face and backtracks to take his hand. “Well, we’re a bit more than friends. But you know that, why did you ask?”

“Forget it,” Brock sighs. He keeps hold of Bucky’s hand and starts walking again. “So your birthday is next week.”

“Oh, I like this conversation,” Bucky says as they reach the front door of the school building.

Brock chuckles. “Of course you do. But anyway, I was thinking since you’ll be 18, maybe I can take you to buy a lottery scratch-off or something.”

Bucky grimaces. He and Steve had planned to do just that years ago. “If it’s all the same, I’d rather not. I’ve never been super interested in that sort of thing.”

“That’s okay,” Brock smiles, leaning against the locker next to Bucky’s. “March 10th is a Thursday, and my mom doesn’t really like me to do things on school nights, but I was thinking I could take you to Cheesecake Factory on Friday.”

“I like Cheesecake Factory,” Bucky answers. He stops unpacking his bag as he thinks about what type of cheesecake he would get.

“And then you could come back to my house. My mom’s going away next weekend, and although she said no parties, she didn’t say I couldn’t have someone spend the night.”

Bucky closes his locker and looks up to see Brock waggling his eyebrows. He can’t help but laugh. “That does sound nice.”

“Yeah, I thought it would.”

“I should get to Clint’s locker. He’s probably waiting for me.”

“Okay. See you in chemistry.” Brock gives Bucky a quick kiss before heading off.

Bucky watches as Brock walks away, a nice fluttery feeling in his stomach. He honestly hadn’t been looking forward to his birthday, but after that conversation he finally has reason to be excited again.

**...**

About a week later, Tony and Bucky are sitting in their usual spot in the cafeteria. While they wait for Clint to show up, Bucky gushes to Tony about his birthday weekend with Brock. Tony seems relatively unenthused, but Bucky figures it’s just because he’s not getting any at the moment.

Once Bucky’s finished, Tony speaks up, “How come your boyfriend never sits here at lunch? Are you embarrassed by us or something?”

Bucky stops eating and looks up at his friend. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Tony stares back in disbelief. “So you mean to tell me that you’ve been screwing around for three months and you don’t consider Brock your boyfriend? You think that the guy who took you to a romantic birthday dinner and then let you spend the night at his house isn’t your boyfriend?”

“We haven’t really labeled it. We just have sex and hang out.”

“When Pepper was my girlfriend, we would have sex and hang out. I don’t see how it’s any different.”

Clint finally makes his appearance, seeming a bit subdued. That doesn’t stop Tony from pestering him.

“Hey, Barton. Romanov’s your girlfriend. What do you guys do?”

Clint shrugs. “Have sex and hang out.”

“Is that so?”

“That still doesn’t make Brock my boyfriend,” Bucky says.

“Okay,” Tony snorts.

“Are you okay, man?” Bucky asks, turning his attention to Clint’s sad face.

“It’s just that me and Nat haven’t been having much sex lately. Or hanging out, for that matter. We go to the same school and I barely see her anymore.”

“What did you do?” Tony asks.

“Dude!” Bucky scolds. Tony holds up his arms in surrender, but he doesn’t look too sorry.

“We just can’t seem to see eye-to-eye on anything lately. When we do talk, it’s about the weather or some shit that won’t make either of us mad. I’m scared I’m going to lose her,” Clint admits.

“Clint, Natasha loves you. You guys’ll get through this.” Bucky tries to rub Clint’s shoulder, but he jerks away.

“Don’t even try to make me feel better, dude. Do you even know what me and Nat are fighting about?”

“No, because you didn’t tell me.”

“We’ve been arguing about your stupid fucking fight with Steve. You haven’t noticed that it’s been affecting other people, because you’re stuck in your own little world with your dumb boyfriend! And don’t even say he’s not your boyfriend, he totally is.”

“Clint, I…” Bucky doesn’t know what to say.

“Save it. Bucky, you’re my best friend, and all I want is for you to be happy, but it’s not fair if your happiness means that other people have to feel shitty. I’m not hungry anymore.” Clint gets up from the table and heads out of the cafeteria.

“You and Steve should probably get your shit together. It’s been long enough,” Tony says as he gets up. “I’m going to make sure Clint’s okay. It’s not a good sign when he says he’s not hungry.”

Once Tony is gone, Bucky pushes away the rest of his lunch, since he’s not feeling that great. It’s probably the guilt. He felt a bit guilty when he talked to Karen last month, but it’s different this time. It’s Clint and Natasha. They’re supposed to be together forever, not in a fight because their best friends don’t want to speak to each other anymore. And Clint is right about Bucky being self-absorbed lately. He hadn’t noticed that Clint and Natasha were having any problems at all. He had made Tony sit and hear about his weekend without even a second thought. He spends the rest of the day lost in thought, which isn’t helpful during chemistry when Mr. Morello gives them chemical equations to work on, and Brock has to tell Bucky to focus on multiple occasions.

Bucky barely notices that the day is over as he goes to pack up his things. The only thing that snaps him out of his melancholy is the shock of seeing Steve standing in front of his locker after he’s closed the door.

“Hi,” Steve mumbles.

“Hey,” Bucky answers just as quietly.

They stand in silence for a moment. This isn’t how Bucky had pictured this going.

“So I just want to say--”

“No, Bucky,” Steve interrupts. “I’d like to go first.”

“Okay.”

“Fuck, I’m not supposed to start an apology by yelling.” He turns red as he gets more flustered.

“Steve, it’s okay. Just start again.”

Steve takes a deep breath before beginning. “Okay. I’m an asshole.”

Bucky snorts in response.

“Yeah, I know. I was really pissed at you for like a week after what happened at the cast party. I mean, you were rude to Karen, but what you said had some truth to it, and I couldn’t stop thinking about that.”

“I--”

“Buck, please. Let me finish.”

“Sorry,” Bucky blushes. “Keep going.”

“So once I realized I might have overreacted, I was really pissed at myself, and I’m so stubborn that I was embarrassed to admit that I made a mistake. So I’ve spent most of the school year without my best friend because I was too chicken to apologize. And if these past months have been any indication, then I’m not ready to not have you in my life. So I’m sorry for being an ass, and I’m sorry for taking so long to realize it.”

“Thank you. And I’m sorry for lashing out at Karen and being a dick about the whole Trish thing. I guess I just wasn’t used to sharing you, but that doesn’t give me reason to be rude.”

“Thanks.” Steve smiles.

“So are we good?” Bucky asks.

“Yeah, we’re good, jerk.”

“Come here, punk.” Bucky pulls Steve in for a hug. It’s quick and a bit awkward, and once they pull apart they kind of just stare at each other. What else are you supposed to do after a supremely long falling out?

After what feels like ages, Steve speaks again, “Oh, there’s something else I’ve been meaning to tell you--”

“Ugh, did today feel long as fuck, or was that just me?” Brock interrupts, as he comes up from behind and puts an arm around Bucky.

“Hey, man. You ready to go?” Bucky asks.

“Yeah. Ready to knock this lab report out of the park. Oh hey, Steve! How’s it going?”

“It’s alright, thanks for asking,” Steve answers. Bucky can’t really read his expression.

“Oh wait, Steve, what did you want to tell me?” Bucky remembers.

“It’s nothing. I should go, I don’t want to be late for baseball practice.”

“Okay, well call me when you’re done.”

“For sure.” He smiles and hurries off toward the locker room.

“What was that about?” Brock asks, once Steve is out of earshot.

“We made up,” Bucky says as he starts walking towards the door.

“That’s nice.”

“Yeah. It is.”

“On a completely different note,” Brock begins after a moment, “I have tried on numerous occasions to get used to Harry Styles and his long hair, but I just can’t do it.”

Bucky turns to glare at Brock.

“I can’t! It looks greasy!”

“This makes no sense! My hair is long, and you don’t complain about it.”

“I know your hair isn’t greasy.”

“Brock. Do you ever want to have sex with me again?”

“Yes,” Brock mumbles.

“Then leave Harry’s hair alone.”

“This passion of yours is definitely going to take some more getting used to.”

“I appreciate that you’re working on it. Like I’ve accepted the fact that you listen to dad rock.”

“Fuck you,” Brock says as they get into the car.

“Hate to break it to you, Brock, but you’re already doing that.”

“Please stop flirting with each other in my presence,” Rebecca whines. She had been waiting by the car as they walked down to the senior lot.

“Sorry, Rebecca, but your brother decided to insult my music taste, I had to defend myself.”

“Yeah, no offense, but I don’t really care.”

Brock chuckles and leaves Rebecca alone for the rest of the ride home.

Once they get there, Rebecca goes to the basement, and Bucky and Brock head up to Bucky’s room. Bucky shuts the door once they’re both in.

“What sounds more appealing to you, homework or sex?” Bucky asks, stepping closer to Brock.

“Isn’t Rebecca right downstairs?” Brock counters as he puts down his backpack.

“She does her homework in the basement, I doubt she’ll hear us. We don’t have to take a long time. Twenty minutes?”

Brock rolls his eyes and surges forward, pressing Bucky up against the door. Bucky keeps his lips pressed against Brock’s as he fumbles to turn on some music to drown out any noises they might make. Predictably, the first thing that comes on is No Control, and Brock pulls away to laugh.

“Are we seriously going to have sex to One Direction?”

“Aw, come on, man! We had sex to that classic rock stuff you like that one time! And besides, this song is so fitting,” Bucky protests.

“Fine. But only because you’re cute.”

“You’re such a sap.”

“But you like it,” Brock says.

Bucky closes the distance between them, this time pushing Brock towards his bed. He mentally thanks himself for loosening his uniform tie when school ended, because the last time Brock had tried to get it off in a rush, he had ended up slightly choked. After having had sex for about a month they’ve gotten into a good rhythm, and they know what works for them. That still doesn’t make unbuttoning an Oxford shirt while trying not to separate mouths any less challenging.

They’re quick to shed the rest of their clothes, save their boxers. Brock kisses down Bucky’s body, as Bucky feels around in his nightstand drawer for lube and a condom. He throws them in Brock’s direction, and lets out a satisfied moan.

Brock works his way back up to Bucky’s mouth, kissing him hard and frenzied as he grinds his hips. They both moan as Bucky pulls away.

“What is it?” Brock whines.

“Do you want to pull on my hair?” Bucky breathes heavily. He swears he can see Brock’s pupils dilate further at the mere suggestion.

“Do you want me to pull on your hair?”

“Well you seemed to like it the last time, and I found it enjoyable, so if you want to do it again, go for it.”

Brock laughs and takes hold of some of Bucky’s hair. In response, Bucky grabs Brock’s ass and pulls down his boxers. He’s about to pull down his own when he hears another voice.

“Hey, Bucky, can I talk to you?” someone calls as the door opens. Bucky and Brock freeze and look towards the door to see Steve, who clearly wasn’t expecting the sight he was greeted with. Brock is quick to pull his boxers back up, as he sits up and relocates to the other side of Bucky’s bed.

“Holy shit. Sorry, I’ll just be going now,” Steve mumbles. He’s turning redder by the second, but he can’t seem to get his feet moving to leave the room. After another moment he turns around and gingerly shuts the door.

“Well that killed the mood,” Brock grumbles.

Bucky hasn’t moved since Steve walked in. He lays on his bed in silence for a moment before shouting, “Fuck!” He jumps out of bed and pulls on a t-shirt before yanking his door open and running after Steve.

“Where are you going?” Brock shouts after him.

“Steve! Stevie!” Bucky runs down the stairs and out the front door, only to see that Steve is gone. “Fucking shit!”

“Bucky!” Rebecca shouts from the front door. “Get back inside and put some pants on!”

Bucky walks back into the house, not to put on pants like Rebecca said, but to yell at her.

“What happened?” Rebecca asks.

“What do you mean what happened? You let Steve in the house and he walked in on me and Brock getting ready to do it! Why did you let him in?” Bucky yells.

“I thought he was coming to apologize to you! How was I supposed to know you and Brock were having sex? You said you had a mountain of homework!”

Bucky dismisses his sister, and goes back to his room. When he gets there, he sees Brock, fully clothed and getting ready to leave.

“What are you doing?” Bucky asks.

“When you told me about your boy trouble in December you were talking about Steve, weren’t you?” Brock frowns.

Bucky stares down at his feet.

“Yeah, I figured,” Brock continues. “I feel like such an idiot. I mean, in the back of my mind, I’ve always thought you maybe had a thing for him. But I was too excited at the idea of you liking me to be rational about it. And it makes even more sense that you were so weird when I asked what I am to you.”

“Brock, nothing’s going to happen between me and Steve. He’s straight, I’m trying to get over him!” Bucky finally responds.

“We’ve been doing this for three months, and you’re still not over him? Do you even like me at all?”

“Yes!”

“Just not as much as you like Steve, huh?” Bucky can see the tears starting to well up in his sort-of boyfriend’s eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

“You can’t just say you’re sorry and expect that to change anything! Do you realize how much of my time you’ve wasted, not to mention your own?”

“I don’t know what to say. I’m an asshole.”

“Damn right, you are.” Brock slings his backpack over his shoulder and storms past Bucky and out the door.

“Brock! What about our lab report?”

“They invented Google Docs for a reason, James.” Hearing his first name out of Brock’s mouth for the first time since December stings a bit more than it should.

Bucky stands at the top of the stairs as Brock opens and slams the front door. After a second, he sits down and puts his head in his hands. He hears footsteps and looks up to see Rebecca ascending the stairs.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

“I think I just got dumped,” he responds.

“Do you want some ice cream?”

“Nah. I don’t deserve it.” Bucky gets up and heads to his room, knowing full well he’s not going to be getting any work done now.

**…**

After one week of awkward chemistry classes and even more avoidance from Steve than before, Bucky decides to get his life back in order. He’s tried talking to Brock, but it’s been made pretty clear that Brock doesn’t want to talk to Bucky about anything other than schoolwork. Hopefully he just needs a little time. The next step to getting his life back in order is to go talk to Steve. He finally works up the courage to do so on Friday, when Rebecca informs him that she’s sleeping over at Kamala’s and won’t need a ride home. Once the school day has ended, he drives to Steve’s house. He takes probably about ten deep breaths as he walks up to the door and rings the bell. He’s met with Steve’s mom.

“James! What a pleasant surprise,” she smiles.

“Hi, Miss Sarah! It’s been too long.”

“I hear you’re going to NYU. Congratulations!”

“Thank you. I’m really excited.”

“So what brings you here?”

“I wanted to talk to Steve. Is he home yet?”

“He’s at baseball practice until 5:30,” Miss Sarah answers. “Should I tell him you stopped by?”

Right. Baseball practice. Bucky had completely forgotten about baseball season. Wait, what was Steve doing at his house so early last week if he had practice? He’s distracted from his thoughts by Miss Sarah.

“James? Should I tell Steve you stopped by?”

“Oh. Um, actually, it’s pretty important. Is it okay if I just wait for him to get home?”

“That’s perfectly fine. I was just finishing up some brownies. Come on in.”

Bucky gratefully follows her into the house. He’s so excited to have her brownies again after what feels like an eternity. It seems like no time at all has passed when there’s a key in the back door lock and Steve walks into the kitchen. He has his backpack on his front since he’s carrying his sports bag as well.

“Hi, Mom, I’m home,” Steve says as he locks the door behind him. He finally looks up and is clearly surprised to see Bucky in his kitchen. “Bucky. Hi.”

“Hi,” Bucky mumbles.

“James stopped by to talk to you. He said it was very important, so he tested my brownies while we waited for you to get home,” Miss Sarah chimes in.

“Oh,” Steve answers.

“Yeah, it actually is pretty important, or I would have just texted you about it,” Bucky says.

“Okay. Do you want to come upstairs?”

“Okay.”

Steve leads the way, dropping his sports bag off in the hallway before heading up to his room. It hasn’t changed since the last time Bucky was over. It’s still very neat and simple. The blue checkered bedspread is the only difference. Steve used to have a green one. Bucky stands awkwardly, not sure whether to sit or not.

“You can sit down if you want,” Steve says as he gestures to a spot on the bed.

Bucky shuffles over and sits down next to Steve. They sit in silence, neither of them really wanting to start the conversation. Bucky stares at Steve’s sketch of the theater on the wall in front of him.

“So,” Steve finally says. “What was so important?”

“Oh. Well, I wanted to apologize for making things weird again. I usually locked the door when things would start to get hot and heavy, but clearly my brain was not in control last week,” Bucky begins.

“You don’t have to apologize for having sex, I get it. I just wasn’t really prepared to see Brock Rumlow’s ass last week. Or ever, for that matter,” Steve says.

“I guess nobody’s really prepared to see anyone’s ass until they’re seeing it.”

Steve chuckles and turns to look at Bucky. “Is that really all you came over to say?”

Bucky shrugs. “I guess. I mean, I didn’t want things to be super weird right after we did all that apologizing. And I’ve been pretty mopey most of this week so I said to myself, you know what, I should probably stop listening to Half a Heart and If I Could Fly on loop and go fix this.”

“Well I’m glad you’re here.” Steve smiles.

“But I did want to ask you something, though. Weren’t you supposed to be at practice when you came over to my house last week?”

Steve blushes. “Um, I kind of went to Coach Banner and told him that my asthma was acting up and he told me to go home. I mean, it wasn’t a complete lie. It had been acting up, but I mostly said it because I wanted to tell you something before I chickened out. But you and Brock looked a little busy, so I just went home.”

“Do you want to tell me what was so important now?”

“Yeah, I’m getting to that,” Steve says before taking a deep breath and turning to look Bucky in the eyes. “I’m bisexual.”

“You are?”

“Yeah. I’ve known for a while, but I just started coming out to people a couple weeks ago. I had feelings for this guy earlier this year and when it didn't really pass, I wanted to start being more honest with myself.”

“Thanks for sharing that with me, Steve. Especially after everything that's happened with us this year. I'm really happy for you,” Bucky says. He turns so that he's facing his friend.

“Thanks, Buck.”

“You know, now that we’re speaking again, you're never getting rid of me. I'm here for you, man.”

“Until the end of the line?” Steve smirks.

“Until the end of the line, pal,” Bucky smiles.

“Can we hug now?”

“Yeah, we can hug.”

Steve laughs and wraps his arms around Bucky. Bucky rests his head on Steve’s shoulder, taking a chance to savor the moment. He really doesn’t know what he would do without him. Thinking about the fact that they spent most of the year mad at each other just makes Bucky upset. This isn’t how he pictured his senior year turning out. His mom would say something along the lines of everything happens for a reason, and he says a silent prayer that because of all this, things with Steve will only get stronger.

**…**

Bucky and Steve take a couple of weeks to get back into the habit of being friends, but by the end of March, things seem to be getting back to normal. Bucky’s packing his bag for school once his homework is finished when his phone lights up with a text from Steve:

_Hey, can I bum a ride to school tomorrow?_

Bucky hasn't smiled this much in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, now that you've read that, I feel like I can finally explain how Brock became such a thing in this fic. Like most people (or at least I've never met anyone who disagrees) Brock Rumlow is awful in both movie and comic book canon, but he's supposed to be since he's a villain. The first bit of this fic I wrote was the first kiss flashback that was at the end of chapter 2. I used Brock as Bucky's first kiss with a guy just thinking it would be a throwaway line, but then I thought, what if they were lab partners? And then it sort of spiraled out of control and Brock turned into an actual character and Bucky's boyfriend. After a while I decided to make it my goal to try and make people feel sorry for him, and as I wrote this, even I felt a little sad that he and Bucky were about to break up. But anyway, have some music:
> 
> [Best Song Ever](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_v9MY_FMcw) (You've probably all heard this too, but they do a dance in the video, it's fun.)  
> [No Control](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pW7W8hbdhX8)  
> [Half a Heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wyT4jMSBMo)  
> [If I Could Fly](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6gR8kGkaOI) (I usually try to find lyric vids without pictures, but this one had good audio and the pictures aren't that cringey.)
> 
> In terms of updating, this is the last chapter I'm posting before going back to school. Just so you know, chapter 9 has been mostly written for a while, since it's the first thing I had a solid idea for (I'm a very backwards person). So I really just have to write chapters 8 and 10, and 10 is more of an epilogue anyway. 
> 
> Thank you so much for sticking with the fic so far and for subscribing and giving kudos! I love reading your comments and hearing what you think. And if you absolutely love this fic, come find me on [Tumblr!](http://mylifeiskara.tumblr.com/)


	8. April

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Promposal season is well under way!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ack! I haven't posted since the end of August! I've just been really busy, but I promise the last two chapters won't take as long, since chapter 9 is basically done and chapter 10 is really just an epilogue.

Things are starting to seem back to normal between Bucky and Steve as baseball season kicks into high gear. Bucky hadn’t been going to the games at the beginning of the season, but his new outlook on things is to support Steve completely. It’s not hard to do, considering Steve’s the best pitcher Lehigh Academy has had in years. Lehigh’s team in general is pretty decent.

Bucky likes to make jokes about how patriotic their school is. Their colors are red, white, and blue, and their mascot is the Lehigh Academy Patriot. Steve’s blond hair with the baseball uniform makes him look even more like an All-American boy than he already does.

The Patriots win 6-2, and everyone rushes the field. The team has been doing pretty well this year, and it seems like they’re well on their way to the playoffs. Bucky, Clint, Natasha, and Peggy run towards Steve to congratulate him. Unsurprisingly, they have to elbow their way to him, what with all his adoring fans. They reach him eventually and are quick to give him a bear hug.

“There you go, Mr. Star Spangled Man!” Bucky grins, patting Steve on the back.

“Thanks, Buck. We’re not in the playoffs yet, I don’t get why everyone is so excited.”

“You’re almost there, though!” Clint points out. “The team is really good this year.”

“We’ve been working really hard.”

“Dude, stop being so modest! You won, you’re good, be proud of that!” Bucky scolds.

Steve’s only response is to laugh, before one of his teammates pats him on the shoulder and he excuses himself to gather with the rest of the team. What’s even more confusing is the fact that they huddle up.

“What on earth are they doing?” Peggy wonders aloud.

“Sports are so fucking weird,” Natasha answers.

Clint starts to search the crowd. “Wasn’t Tony with us earlier? Where’d he go?”

At that moment, a member of the AV club runs towards their group, training his camera at Peggy.

Peggy frowns. “What’s going on?”

“Pegs, you’re on the big screen!” Clint shouts.

The rest of them look up to see that sure enough, Peggy’s face is in fact on the big screen. She looks around in disbelief as the entire varsity baseball team turns to face her and the opening notes of I Really Like You begin.

“What in the name of Louis Tomlinson’s fake baby?” Bucky mumbles, but clearly not quietly enough, since Natasha and Clint both turn to stare at him.

“What?” Natasha questions.

“I have neither the time, nor the patience to explain,” Bucky says, turning back to the spectacle in front of him.

At this point, the baseball team has broken out into a choreographed dance. They are surprisingly together, and Bucky can’t help but smile as he looks over to Steve trying to keep a straight face. During the first chorus, the team parts to reveal Tony walking towards Peggy with a bouquet of flowers and a sign that says, “Prom?”

Clint, Natasha, and Bucky all stare wide-eyed. They had absolutely no idea that Tony was planning this, although it makes perfect sense that his promposal is such a production. Bucky turns to Peggy, who looks incredibly overwhelmed, but also maybe just a bit flattered.

“Tony, you do realize that if you had just asked me to prom like a normal person I would have said yes, right?” Peggy asks.

“Come on, where’s the fun in that?” Tony shrugs, holding out the bouquet.

Peggy smiles and rolls her eyes as she takes the bouquet from his hands.

“Is that a yes, then?” Tony asks.

“Yes.”

“Cool!” He takes out his phone to snap a selfie, then gives Peggy a hug. The people still hanging around applaud. Steve runs back over to their group, happy that he can laugh as much as he wants now.

“How long have you been planning this?” Peggy asks Steve.

“Tony came to the team about two weeks ago and asked for help. He choreographed the dance himself,” Steve smiles.

“I can’t believe you were able to keep it from all of us for so long,” Bucky says. “I’m impressed.”

“I am a man of many talents,” Steve shrugs.

“What happened to being all modest?”

“It’s just fun to mess with you, man.”

“I guess this means promposal season has officially started,” Clint remarks.

“The least wonderful time of the year,” Natasha groans.

“You don’t really mean that, do you, Nat?” Clint checks.

“It’s a little silly, don’t you think?”

“But it’s silly in a fun way.”

“Calm down, Clint. I just don’t see what the big deal is, that’s all.” She shrugs and strokes Clint’s arm before motioning for Peggy to walk with her.

Steve excuses himself to go to the locker room and get changed, while Tony opts to head for his car. Bucky stops Clint before he can start to follow Tony away from the field.

“Clint, are you okay?” Bucky asks. “You look like you just heard that McDonald’s is closing for good.”

Clint snorts. “McDonald’s would never close for good.”

“Dude, you know what I mean. I thought you and Natasha were good.”

“We are. It’s nothing.”

“I’m not convinced.”

“Seriously, Bucky. It’s okay!”

Bucky takes the hint and stops prying. He just hopes that he’s been a bit more of an attentive friend since everything went to shit in March. It’s also fine for Clint to be in a bad mood. Maybe he needs a bit of space until after the weekend.

Clint really isn’t kidding about Tony kicking off promposal season. Come Monday, people are getting asked to prom left and right. Bucky walks into school to find lockers decorated, and his British Literature class gets interrupted when another senior comes in to ask Trish Walker, who Bucky actually hadn’t thought about for months, which is a very good thing.

By Wednesday it seems like the whole school has been asked to prom. In all honesty, it’s making Bucky bitter. He had kind of assumed that he and Brock would go to prom together back when that was still a thing. Tony and Peggy are going together, it’s a given that Clint and Natasha will go together, and it’s only a matter of time before someone asks Steve. He’s basically just going to have to third wheel his friends all night, which doesn’t make him look forward to prom at all.

At the end of the day he and Natasha are walking out to the parking lot, having said goodbye to Steve as he headed off to baseball practice.

“So I asked this to Clint last week, and he didn’t really answer me,” Bucky starts as they keep walking. “But are you guys okay?”

“I think so,” Natasha answers. “He’s been pretty quiet since Friday, which is a bit unusual, but we’re not fighting anymore.”

“Then I wonder what’s up?” They walk in silence until Natasha stops dead in her tracks. Bucky is unsure why she’s stopped, but once he looks too, he gets it.

“What the fuck are you doing on top of my car?” Natasha asks Clint, who is standing on the hood of her car with his arms behind his back.

“Listen, I know you think all of this promposal stuff is stupid, and I figured it’s a given we’re going to go to prom together. Why wouldn’t we? Unless you decided to go with Steve since he’s your best friend and you’re usually a package deal,” Clint says.

“Clint, it sounds like you’re telling your girlfriend to go to prom with Steve,” Bucky points out.

“That’s because you didn’t let me finish!” He takes a breath before starting again. “So anyways, Nat, you made it pretty clear that promposals aren’t really your thing, but what can you do, your boyfriend is a sap. I love promposals, because it’s a way for me to make a grand, sweeping and romantic gesture and show that I love you, even though we had a massive fight this year. And before you say anything, I know I don’t need to make a grand, sweeping and romantic gesture to show I love you. I’m doing it because I want to. I’m a senior so this is my last chance to prompose to someone since I kind of just asked you last year. I just want you to know that I love you, and you mean the world to me, and there’s nobody I’d rather go to prom with.” Clint brings his arms out from around his back to hold up a posterboard that says, “Please don’t kill me, but prom?”

“Get off of my car, stupid,” Natasha laughs. “Of course I’ll go to prom with you.”

Clint hops off the car and goes to give his girlfriend a kiss, but he stops an inch in front of her face. “Awww, you’re crying? That’s amazing!”

“Shut up!” She hits his arm before reaching up to grab his face and kiss him.

“I’d like to point out that you two are vomitose in the cutest way possible,” Bucky says as he takes a picture for his Snapchat story.

“We did it, Nat! We’re cute!” Clint smiles.

“Oh please, we’ve always been cute,” Natasha scoffs.

Bucky rolls his eyes. “No need to rub it in, though.”

Natasha and Clint seem to be a bit in their own little world, so Bucky takes it as his cue to keep walking to his car. He’s happy for his friends, but he still wishes he had someone to go with to prom.

“I wish promposal season would end,” Rebecca comments as they drive home. “Tony’s proposal really made people want to step up their games.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t as noticeable last year. Pepper probably told him not to make a big fuss. He’s definitely making up for lost time,” Bucky guesses.

“Are you going to ask anyone to prom?”

“Who is there to ask?” When there’s no answer, Bucky looks over to see Rebecca looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “What?”

“If you’re not stupid, you’ll figure it out,” she answers.

“You’re a confusing person, I just want you to know.”

“Well, I learned from the best,” she smiles.

Bucky smiles and keeps driving. He hopes that moving away for college doesn’t change his relationship with Rebecca too much.

**...**

The next morning, Bucky is transferring books to his locker when he hears Clint shouting from down the hall.

“I’m not an idiot after all!” he exclaims as he nears Bucky.

“Who said you were an idiot?” Bucky asks.

“Nobody, since I got into college!” He holds out his acceptance envelope from Syracuse University.

“Clint, that’s awesome! Congratulations!” Bucky pulls his friend in for a hug.

“It was in the mail when I got home yesterday, but I wanted to tell you in person.”

“Wow.”

“What?” Clint wonders.

“We’re about to graduate. High school is almost over.”

“Bucky, I love you, but it’s a bit too early in the morning for us to have this conversation.”

“Sorry, man. It’s just, in a few months I won’t be able to see you everyday.”

Clint’s face falls. “There are trains.”

“Yeah, but it won’t be the same,” Bucky mumbles.

“Well I guess we just have to make the most of the time we have left.”

“Please don't say things like that. It's unsettling.”

“I only say unsettling things when they're true. You should know that by now,” Clint says as he pats Bucky on the back and heads to Russian.

During his free period, Bucky sits in the library with Steve. Steve is doodling instead of doing actual work, and Bucky stops to glance up at him every now and again. He's not sure what possesses him to do what he does next, but he thinks to himself, fuck it, and goes for it as he pulls out a piece of notebook paper and starts writing.

“Hey, Steve,” he whispers once he's done.

“What?” Steve answers, not looking up from his drawing.

“Well you'll never know if you don't look up.”

Steve looks and his expression is annoyed at first, but he smiles once he sees that the paper that Bucky is holding up says, “Prom?”

“Um, I've never asked anyone to prom before,” Bucky begins. “And it seems like a rite of passage or something. I mean, even Clint promposed. This is a bit spur of the moment, but you're my best friend. And I haven't been there for you like I should have been this year, and I want to let you know that I'm here for you and stuff. And this doesn't have to be weird, you know. Just two friends going to prom.”

Steve’s face is unreadable by the end of Bucky’s speech.

“Please don't leave me hanging.”

“I'll go to prom with you, jerk,” Steve smiles.

“You will?” Bucky asks, only slightly shocked that he got a yes.

“Yeah, I'm just wrapping my head around it. I didn't think anyone would ask me.”

“Are you serious? You're a catch, I'm sure people would line up to ask you to prom.”

A blush spreads across Steve’s face. “Aw, Buck, you're just saying that.”

“We’re really going to have to work on your confidence. Lunch?”

They pack up and walk in relative silence to the cafeteria. They’re the last ones to their table.

“What took you two so long?” Tony asks.

“Bucky asked me to prom,” Steve responds. It’s so nonchalant that at first nobody notices, but then Clint’s head snaps up from his phone.

“Wait, back up!” Natasha says.

“Did we hear you correctly?” Peggy questions.

“Yeah, you did,” Steve says. “We’re going as friends.”

Bucky’s pretty sure he didn’t imagine everyone else’s faces falling. There’s a moment of silence.

“That’s nice?” Clint says slowly.

“Yeah. It should be fun,” Steve continues.

“Hey, we can all go as a group!” Tony realizes.

“Yeah, it’s much better than Steve bringing some rando and Bucky going by himself,” Natasha responds.

“Excuse you!” Bucky scoffs. “What makes you think I would have gone by myself otherwise?”

Once again, nobody says anything. They all have the good sense not to bring up Brock. Fuck. Bucky hadn’t thought about him.

“I’ll catch up with you guys.” Bucky starts to get up.

“We just got here!” Steve protests.

“There’s something I have to do before class.” He pats Steve’s shoulder and hurries off.

His search doesn’t take very long, as he runs into Brock when he’s trying to leave the library.

“Oh, sorry,” Brock mumbles as he tries to get away.

“Hey, can I talk to you for a second?”

“It can wait until class.”

“No, it can’t.”

Brock sighs and looks at Bucky.

“So, I didn’t want you to find out from anyone else, but--”

“You’re going to prom with Steve,” Brock interrupts.

“How did you know?”

“I saw it coming a mile away. Is that all?”

“Well, I thought maybe we could talk about it,” Bucky says quietly.

“What is there to talk about, James? You don’t owe me anything.”

“I just didn’t want you to see us at prom or something and feel blindsided.”

“It’s your lucky day. I’m not going to prom.” Brock turns to start walking towards the cafeteria.

“Oh. Well I just…” Bucky calls after him, but he’s not sure how to continue.

“I’ll see you in class.” Brock doesn’t look back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for everyone who has left kudos, commented, subscribed and stuck with this fic! I love hearing what you think, it makes me super happy to hear people are invested. Get excited for prom! 
> 
> And have some music:
> 
> [I Really Like You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qV5lzRHrGeg)  
> [Star Spangled Man](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxRKwKJI_uI) (For the record, this is one of my favorite parts of The First Avenger, so you should totally watch the whole thing if you haven't already!)


	9. May

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prom is upon us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: the whole prom bit is the second thing I wrote after Bucky and Steve's first kiss, because I didn't want to forget all my ideas. Things have been added to it since then.

Bucky sits on the bleachers at the baseball field waiting for Steve to be finished with practice. He’s been alternating between watching the team play and scrolling through social media on his phone. He opens Instagram and starts scrolling. He’s not really sure why he has the app, considering he never posts pictures. It is nice to follow some of his friends, though. Nat has gotten into the habit of posting pictures of Clint sleeping, and Clint’s Instagram feed is really just a food account what with all the meals he posts pictures of. Steve even recently got an account, and he posts very cute selfies, although Bucky’s probably a bit biased in that respect. It’s also fun to follow celebrities.

Speaking of celebrities, Bucky notices that Harry Styles has posted a picture, which tends to be a rarity. He perks up, excited to see what it could be. As the full picture comes into view, he sees a hand holding out a ponytail. The caption reads, “Whoops.” Bucky scrunches up his face at first, unsure of what that could mean, but once the realization dawns, his eyes widen and he can’t help but let out a shriek. Unfortunately, his shriek happens while the entire baseball team is quiet, so all heads turn towards him.

“Barnes, are you alright?” Coach Banner asks.

Bucky makes eye contact with Steve, whose eyebrows are raised in concern. “I’m okay, Coach. No need to worry about me. Carry on.”

Some of the players snicker as they turn back to Coach Banner, who rolls his eyes and keeps talking. Bucky continues his freakout internally until Steve is finished with practice.

About an hour later, the players are dismissed, and Steve says goodbye to his friends before walking warily toward Bucky.

“Is everything okay, Buck?” he asks as he sits down next to him.

Bucky exhales and lays his head down on Steve’s lap.

“So I’m gonna take that as a no. What happened?” Steve presses.

Bucky’s only reply is to hand Steve his phone.

“What does whoops mean? Oh. So, Harry got a haircut, huh?”

“I can’t believe it actually happened. I’m in shock,” Bucky muses.

“Yeah, I couldn’t tell.”

“Steven, this is no laughing matter. Sure, I knew this day would come, but I didn’t expect it so soon.”

“Things change, man. We have to accept it,” Steve answers as he pats Bucky’s head.

“Hey, Rogers!” shouts Frank Castle, a senior on the baseball team. “You should take a shower, I’m sure your boyfriend would appreciate it if you didn’t smell!”

Bucky bolts up so his head is no longer in Steve’s lap. He and Steve both blush, because what else is new? And yeah, now that Bucky knows Steve is into guys too things like this are made less awkward, but it’s still awkward, since Steve isn’t into him.

“Bucky’s not my boyfriend, Castle,” Steve says as he stands up and starts to head to the locker room.

“Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that,” Frank pats Steve’s shoulder as they head towards the showers.

“I’ll meet you at the car in ten minutes, Buck!” Steve shouts.

“That’s cool. I’ll just be here. Having an existential crisis!” Bucky retorts.

Ten minutes later, Bucky and Rebecca are in the car, waiting for Steve to appear. Bucky is sitting in the passenger seat. He’s in too much of an emotional state to drive.

“You’re a mess,” Rebecca comments.

“You would be this upset if Dylan O’Brien ever grew back that awful beard of his!”

Steve knocks on Bucky’s window. “What are you doing?” he asks.

“Can you drive, please? I’m having a time.”

Steve rolls his eyes and walks over to the driver’s side of the car. He motions for Bucky to give him the keys.

“What are you going to do once I get home?” Steve asks.

“It’s a Friday, you could just sleep over.” 

“What if I had plans?”

“Do you have plans?”

“No.”

“So you can sleep over.”

Steve rolls his eyes as he backs out of the space and drives away.

They hole up in the basement, playing video games and watching trashy television while they down pizza and soda, and for a short while it seems as if they had never stopped being friends. They’re still up around three in the morning, and the TV is on, though it’s mostly just background noise. Steve has his head in Bucky’s lap. He’s been dozing off for about an hour.

“Hey, Buck?” Steve mumbles.

“Yeah, Steve?” He looks down to see Steve looking up at him.

“I’m glad we’re going to prom together,” he smiles sleepily.

“Yeah, me too.” It’s in this moment that Bucky realizes how monumentally screwed he is.

**...**

Bucky definitely isn’t going to put this down as one of his better ideas. Although it sometimes seems impossible, he frequently forgets how attracted to Steve he is. It doesn’t help that now Steve’s in a navy tux that does wonders for his figure. As Bucky stands in Tony’s kitchen, he watches Steve standing in the backyard, laughing at something vulgar Nat probably said. His smile has been so bright since he came out. Bucky couldn’t help but take notice. Clint forces Nat and Steve to take a selfie, and Bucky finds himself staring at Steve’s ass as he leans in for the photo. Bucky tries to shake himself out of this. He asked Steve to prom as a friend. And now he’s really regretting it. He silently wishes for only a second that things between him and Brock hadn’t ended so badly. They could’ve gone to prom together, and he would have had someone to make out with.

“You know, it’s much more fun when you actually go outside and join them,” Peggy remarks from behind.

Bucky jumps and turns around to face her. She looks absolutely stunning. She usually goes for a bold red outfit, but today, she’s chosen a strapless purple high-low dress. Her hair is perfectly curled and swept to one side. Her makeup is simple, yet elegant, as always, and she wouldn’t be Peggy without some sort of red lipstick. Today’s shade is a bit lighter than usual, but still pretty.

“I’m going to take your silence as a compliment,” she continues.

“Yes! You should! Sorry, you look amazing. Tony Stark is a lucky guy.”

“Tony Stark knows that if he tries anything, my stiletto will never see the light of day again, because it’ll be too far up his ass.”

Bucky chuckles. “Who would expect less from Miss Peggy Carter?”

“I don’t expect him to try anything, though, since he’s clearly still hung up on Pepper.”

Bucky nods.

She eyes Bucky curiously. “So you’re not going outside, then?”

“I will, eventually.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.”

“Why did you ask Steve to prom as just friends if you knew it was going to be this hard for you?”

Bucky blushes and decides against acting coy. “I don’t know. When he came out, I just wanted him to know that I was there for him, since it seems like a lot of the year I haven’t been, really. I just got caught up in the moment when I asked him, I guess. And now I’m wondering if I made a mistake.”

“I don’t think you made a mistake, James. Steve knows how much you care about him. Honestly, he’s been so excited about prom since you asked. You should be with him. Be a good date. Let him know he had reason to be excited about tonight.” Peggy takes Bucky’s burgundy suit jacket off the kitchen table and helps him shrug it on.

Bucky starts to walk outside. “Hey, how did you figure out that I had a thing for Steve?”

“If we’re all being honest with each other, I realized it when Steve and I dated. He also showed signs that he might like you, but he wasn’t out. I figured I should let the two of you work it out,” Peggy smiles.

Bucky snorts. “Steve doesn’t like me like that.”

Peggy rolls her eyes. “You two are perfect for each other, because you’re both idiots.” She walks past him and out to the patio with the rest of their friends.

Bucky stands still for another minute, before being interrupted by a slap on his ass and a hand ruffling his slicked back hair. Tony giggles like a maniac as he runs out into his backyard.

“Stark! You’d better not have messed up my hair!” Bucky finally runs outside, joining his friends.

“Why is your hair so long that you have to slick it back?” Tony retorted.

“Well… you know, I was just channeling my inner Harry Styles.” He figures now isn’t the best time to bring up how Brock liked to pull on it. And it isn’t a complete lie. So he has a crush on Harry Styles, sue him. He’s only human.

“Well it’s a good thing you’re here now. We can take some pictures without making it seem like Steve is dateless,” Clint says. He keeps bothering with his light blue bow tie that matches Natasha’s dress. Bucky’s shocked that she went for a color other than black, but she looks great. He likes the way her dress has more than one tone, like the ocean, and her hair is pulled back in a loose bun. She eventually slaps her boyfriend’s hand in order to get him to stop messing with his tie.

Steve walks over to Bucky so they can take a picture together. Bucky chuckles.

“What is it?” Steve asks, looking down to make sure nothing is wrong with his tux.

“Nothing. I just never thought you’d be taller than me, but here we are.”

Steve smiles. “Who knew that navy and burgundy actually go so well together?”

“I’m nothing if not original,” Bucky laughs.

“And that’s what I love about you,” Steve muses so only Bucky can hear.

Bucky can’t help but stare at Steve. Steve stares back. It’s very hard not to get lost in his eyes. Had he heard him correctly? Are his ears working?

“Hey, morons! Look at the camera,” Clint shouts at them. They both jump and turn their heads so Clint can take their picture. After his phone flashes, Bucky looks over to see Natasha shaking her head. Her face reads that she thinks this is starting to get ridiculous. He realizes that he and Steve are still very close, and they pull apart from each other.

Steve blushes. “Hey, Peg! I haven’t gotten a picture with my best girl yet!” He hurries over to Peggy and motions for Clint to take the picture. Bucky takes a deep breath. This is most definitely going to be a long night.

**...**

Bucky isn’t the biggest fan of Lehigh Academy’s prom. He went last year as a junior. He didn’t have a date, so he just tagged along as Clint and Natasha’s third wheel. Prom takes place at a nice hotel, and the juniors and seniors have their prom together, since their school is so small. Even if he is regretting his decision about his prom date, Bucky figures he can at least enjoy prom with more of his friends this time around. He has to make the most of it. He’s a senior for fuck’s sake!

Once the crew pulls up at prom, the first stop is the awkward looking prom photo that’s stationed on the left of the ballroom entrance. Everyone waits in line to take a picture with their date. Bucky isn’t too excited about it, since he skipped this part last year, but Steve seems really determined for them to get their picture taken. And this night is all about pleasing Steve and letting him know that Bucky cares about him. He and Steve stand together in front of a blue backdrop with white clouds scattered around. After the pictures and without another word, Clint heads straight for the snacks.

Natasha rolls her eyes. “I choose to love this boy,” she says, shaking her head as she walks after him.

Bucky and Steve follow Peggy and Tony to claim a table for their group. They sit down. Bucky watches Steve take in his surroundings. He had helped to paint some of the decorations. The theme this year is “A Night in the Clouds.” It’s a bit cheesy for Bucky’s taste, but he loves that Steve loves it. He loves Steve in general, but that’s a different thing.

“So, this is prom,” Steve says after a minute of taking everything in.

“Yup. Is it everything you ever dreamed it would be?” Bucky asks.

“If by that you mean cheesy and kind of stupid, then, yes. It’s all of that. It’s perfect.” Steve turns to Bucky with another intense and loaded look. Yet again, Bucky has no idea what to make of it.

“Tony, would you like to dance?” Peggy asks.

“I thought you said--” Tony starts.

“I said we’re not going to hook up. That doesn’t mean we can’t dance,” she interrupts. She stands and pulls Tony up from his chair. Before she leads him to the dance floor, she looks at Bucky and nods her head towards Steve, who is looking up at the blue and white balloons on the ceiling.

Bucky clears his throat. “So.”

“So,” Steve responds.

“Thanks for coming to prom with me.”

“Thank you for inviting me. I’m glad our stupid fight is over.”

“Me too.” They sit in silence. Bucky looks over to the snack table to see that Clint finally has his plate and is headed in their direction.

“Guys, this spread is so much better than last year. They have pigs in a blanket!” he says, as he puts his plate down and stuffs a piece of cheese in his mouth. Natasha plops down next to Clint and eyes his plate.

“Is all of this for you, or are you willing to share?” she asks.

Clint thinks for a moment as he swallows. “I’m willing to share some with you,” he decides.

“How thoughtful.” Natasha takes one of Clint’s pigs in a blanket as he smiles and kisses her cheek.

“Aw, get a room!” Bucky jokes. Steve covers his eyes, pretending to be scandalized.

“I could say the same thing about you two,” Natasha mumbles. Bucky and Steve quiet down after that. Natasha and Clint give each other a knowing look and then go back to working on the food on their plate.

“Hey, Buck, do you want to dance?” Steve asks.

“If you want to dance, I want to dance,” Bucky smiles in reply.

Steve jumps up and pulls Bucky with him to the dance floor. Steve is a lot of things, but a good dancer is not one of them. He still jump dances, the way people danced at bar and bat mitzvahs in seventh and eighth grade. Although there’s a lot of flailing involved, it’s adorable and Bucky can’t help but laugh, as he tries not to get whacked in the face.

Now Bucky remembers why he asked Steve to prom. They’d spent a lot of the year avoiding each other. Bucky had missed how easy it was for them to have fun together. During their short dance breaks, they would stand by the snack table and make clever commentary about people’s outfits, and when they were on the dance floor they would belt every song, even if they didn’t really know the words. Prom can be fun when you’re surrounded by the right people.

After Bucky’s rousing rendition of What Makes You Beautiful, the DJ decides to play a slower song. And luck would have it that it’s Fooled Around and Fell in Love.

“It’s our song,” Steve smiles.

Steve and Bucky have been taking their dance breaks during the slow songs, but this time they seem to be lingering. Bucky notices a pleading look in Steve’s eyes. Steve must know that Bucky is powerless to the puppy dog face, because he gives in and wraps his arms around his friend. They don’t say anything for the first minute of the song.

“Can I ask you something?” Steve says, breaking the silence.

“You just did,” Bucky jokes.

“No, but seriously. And you have to promise not to get mad.”

“I won’t get mad. Ask away.”

“How come you didn’t just ask Brock to prom?”

Bucky is confused. “Well, he kind of dumped me.”

“You mean, you guys really were a thing?”

“I guess so.”

“You guess so? Bucky, that doesn’t make sense.”

“I mean, I did like Brock, but I guess we were never really on the same page about what we were to each other. I thought we were just having sex, but he and everyone else thought we were boyfriends. So basically, I’m just an all-around dick.”

Steve is quiet again.

“The part that I feel the worst about,” Bucky continues, “is that we had sex for the first time the day I found out you hooked up with Carol Danvers. In the moment that’s not what I was thinking about. But looking back on it, in the back of my mind I might have been trying to get back at you. Another reason I’m an all-around dick.”

Steve blushes. “That thing with Carol was just a party hook-up. We didn’t even have sex, we just made out. I mean, it was a little different with Peter--”

Bucky’s eyes widen. “Peter Parker? You hooked up with Peter Parker?”

“So I take it you didn’t know about that one?”

“No. When did that happen?”

“Pretty recently. It was a bit of an ongoing thing. He’s bi too, and helped me out a lot when I was working that out. We were actually still hooking up when you asked me to prom. I was only really a rebound, though. He got back together with Wade, so things ended pretty quickly,” Steve explains.

“The only reason I knew about Carol is because I had Clint’s phone when Natasha texted him.”

“I feel bad that our fight got in the way of Nat and Clint spending time together. They shouldn’t have had to choose.”

“Our fight should never have happened. We wasted a lot of this year being mad at each other, and I graduate in a month, and I’m going away for school…”

“Buck, you’ll be at NYU and we live on Long Island. It won’t be that hard to visit you. And we have all summer together.”

“It’s just… I’m really sorry, Stevie.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

They both fall silent again and time seems to freeze around them. Bucky looks up at Steve. Steve is staring right back. For a minute it looks like Steve is leaning in closer to Bucky’s face. Once Bucky realizes that’s exactly what he’s doing, he flashes back to their first kiss and panics.

Bucky jerks away from Steve, who seems confused and a bit hurt. “I need some air.” He turns and gets off the dance floor and out to the hotel lobby as fast as he can. He doesn’t want anyone to see that he’s about to cry.

Bucky doesn’t really know what came over him. He loves Steve. And according to Peggy, Steve feels the same way. Steve was most definitely about to kiss him. So why did he run away? God, he really is an idiot. If he hadn’t ruined their friendship earlier in the year, he’s certainly ruined it now, as well as Steve’s prom night.

Bucky walks out to the parking lot, taking deep breaths as he goes. Breathing doesn’t seem to help stop the tears that are streaming down his face. He sits down on the sidewalk and puts his head in his hands. He doesn’t notice at first that Steve has followed after him.

“Buck!” Steve shouts. He’s carrying Bucky’s tux jacket with him. 

Bucky tries to wipe the tears from his face, but he isn’t successful. It’s clear that he’s been crying.

Steve hands Bucky his jacket. “Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you. I read the signals wrong. Shit, I didn’t mean to make you cry. I just thought…”

“No, you read the signals right. I don’t know why I ran off,” Bucky sniffles.

“What?”

Bucky stands up and takes another breath before speaking, “You remember that party your freshman year? The one where Natasha made us play dare or dare?”

Even though it’s dark, Bucky can tell that Steve is blushing as he stares at the ground.

“Well, when I went to get water, I decided I was going to tell you that that kiss meant a lot to me. It’s part of the reason that I came out like a week later. But when I came back, I saw you with Peggy, and I just thought that we were drunk and I shouldn’t make a big deal out of it. And I didn’t know how you felt, and it’s never been something we talked about. Clearly the moral of this year’s story is, we should have talked about it.”

“Bucky, that kiss meant a lot to me too,” Steve says as he takes Bucky’s hand. “But I also knew that Peggy meant a lot to me, and I was confused, especially back then. Peggy and I decided to be friends, which was for the best since I had some sexuality stuff to work out. And I had to face the facts and realize my feelings for you.”

Bucky looks up at Steve. His smile is sad, but it’s a smile that’s filled with love. He can’t help but take Steve’s face in his hands and kiss him.

It’s a bit hard to kiss as Steve’s sad smile changes to a grin once their lips are pressed together, but that doesn’t stop them from trying.

It’s only about thirty seconds before Steve pulls away. His face lights up. “You jerk!”

“Punk,” Bucky smiles in response. “Do you maybe wanna go out sometime?”

Steve laughs. “I’d love to.”

“Peggy’s right. We’re so dumb.”

“Over the years I’ve learned she’s right about most things.” This time Steve closes the gap between them. He has a much better handle on his grin this time, which leads Bucky to realize that this kiss is so much better than their drunken one two years before. They’ve both had practice since then, so the sloppiness of their first kiss is no longer there. Bucky is able to quickly slip his tongue into Steve’s mouth, which elicits a satisfying moan from Steve.

Their kiss is only interrupted by Tony’s telltale giggle. They open their eyes to see him with his phone pulled out, as if he had just taken a picture. He grins and then runs back inside.

“Stark, you little fuck!” Bucky shouts. He smiles, as he grabs Steve’s hand and runs back into the hotel. They’re greeted by Tony as well as Peggy, Clint, and Natasha. All of them are grinning stupidly.

Clint is the first to speak, “So I see you two finally wised up.”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re idiots,” Bucky says, not wanting to make a big deal out of it.

“But you’re our idiots,” Clint laughs.

Steve squeezes Bucky’s hand. “We’re so glad you approve.”

“It was getting to be a bit ridiculous,” Natasha continues.

“I’ve wanted to say something for ages, but Nat said I wasn’t allowed to interfere. She said it wasn’t my business,” Clint says.

Bucky looks at Peggy and begins to open his mouth, but once he sees the look of death in her eyes, he shuts it almost as fast as it had opened.

“So what happens next?” Peggy asks.

“Next, we go back into prom and dance some more!” Steve shouts before planting a kiss on Bucky’s cheek and running back into the ballroom.

Bucky smiles. “I’m not going to argue with that logic.” He shrugs and runs after Steve, who is already on the dance floor once he gets back.

Steve seems to continue to light up the rest of the night. Bucky almost didn’t think it was possible to feel this happy. He doesn’t like to feel sappy but he can’t help it. It’s stupid to think that this is the best night of his life, especially since there will probably be a night in the future that will top this one. But what can he say? Steven Grant Rogers makes him a sap, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Harry Styles for getting a haircut so I had something else to write about! So the next chapter is gonna be the last one, and it's gonna be pretty short. It'll hopefully be posted next week, since I'd like to get this done before Christmas. Thanks so much to everyone who has stuck with this, it's been so much fun to write!
> 
> Have some music:
> 
> [What Makes You Beautiful](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJO3ROT-A4E) (a 1D classic)


	10. Epilogue: June

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Lehigh Academy's Graduation Day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I actually met a deadline I made for myself, for once in my life! Enjoy :)

“James Buchanan Barnes.” The crowd applauds, and Bucky smiles as he walks across the stage to accept his diploma. He looks over to his left to see Clint standing in line where he had been just moments ago. Then he looks out into the audience to see Steve sitting next to Natasha, and Rebecca and his parents a few rows back. He waves his diploma around as he moves the tassel on his cap to the other side.

“Clinton Francis Barton.”Bucky cheers as he goes back to his seat and Clint crosses the stage. Clint blows Natasha a kiss before moving his tassel and going back to his chair next to Bucky.

“We did it!” Clint whispers once he sits back down.

“We’re regular high school graduates,” Bucky jokes.

More names are read, and Clint and Bucky giggle when Anthony Edward Stark is called, because they didn’t know Tony’s middle name.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to now present to you Lehigh Academy’s Class of 2016. Congratulations!” Headmaster Fury announces. Bucky and his classmates stand and cheer. There’s a lot of hugging, and the people that deem themselves more coordinated throw their caps into the air and catch them again.

Tony runs over to them. “I saw you guys snickering when they called my name. Seriously, you can’t even talk. James Buchanan? Clinton Francis? Are you for real!”

Clint laughs. “Calm down, Tony. It was just fun to hear your middle name for the first time.”

“We have to take time to adjust,” Bucky chimes in.

“Like seriously, man. James is pretty normal. But your name is Clinton. It’s like you were born on a farm in the ‘50s.” Tony shakes his head, then stands in shock at something behind Bucky and Clint. They turn around to see none other than Pepper Potts.

“Hi, Tony,” Pepper says.

“Pepper. Hi. Hello,” Tony responds, almost in a whisper.

“Eloquent,” Bucky quips.

“Our valedictorian, ladies and gentlemen,” Clint adds.

Pepper turns to them and smiles. “Hi, Clint. Hi, Bucky. Congratulations.”

“Thanks, Pepper,” Bucky responds. “How was your first year at Yale?”

“It was hard, but I made it through. I love it there.”

“That’s good.”

They stand in silence for a few seconds. Bucky looks over at Tony’s dumbstruck face. He figures it’s not the best time to laugh.

“I really liked your speech,” Pepper finally says.

“Thanks,” Tony answers. More silence.

“Do you want to take a walk?”

“Sure. Yeah.” Tony and Pepper start off towards the courtyard. Once they’re far enough away, Pepper tentatively takes Tony’s hand. He stares at her for a second, but lets it happen as they keep walking away.

“That was unexpected,” Clint remarks.

“I’ll say. Hey, I should probably go find my family.” No sooner than Bucky says that, his family along with Steve, Natasha, and Peggy all come barrelling towards them. He and Clint are immediately enveloped in hugs, and Bucky’s mom starts snapping pictures.

“My boyfriend is a high school graduate!” Steve shouts as he lifts Bucky and spins him in the air.

Natasha turns to Clint. “You should know that I would totally pick you up and spin you around if I could.”

“Noted,” Clint says before giving her a hug.

“Where’s Tony?” Peggy asks.

“Getting back together with Pepper, hopefully,” Bucky answers.

“Really? Good for him!” Steve says.

“No more mopey Tony,” Natasha adds.

Bucky’s mom insists on more pictures, and then even more when the group is joined by Tony, Pepper, and Rhodey. Once she’s satisfied, everyone goes their separate ways. Bucky and Steve agree to meet his family at Cheesecake Factory for lunch.

“Ready for one last carpool?” Bucky asks.

“Buck, don’t say it like that,” Steve whines as he takes Bucky’s hand.

“Well how about last high school carpool? Is that better?”

“I guess.”

Bucky laughs and plants a kiss on his boyfriend’s cheek. Steve’s his boyfriend. He can’t help but smile every time he uses the word. He just never in his wildest dreams thought that it would actually happen.

“Would you like to do the honors?” Bucky asks, gesturing to his phone once they’re in the car.

Steve smiles and takes Bucky’s phone, scrolling through until he seems to find a song he likes. When Something Great starts, Bucky turns to look at Steve and smiles.

“I like this one,” he says.

“It’s my favorite,” Steve remarks. “And if you think about it, it’s kind of about us. Like our song.”

“I thought our song was Fooled Around and Fell in Love.”

“That’s our friend song. We should have an actual boyfriend one.”

Bucky leans over to kiss Steve. “Alright. Something Great can be our boyfriend song. Now. Shall we drive off into the sunset?”

“Eh, maybe just to lunch. I’m hungry.”

Bucky chuckles and starts driving. “So, it’s officially summer.”

“Yup.”

“You’re gonna be a senior.”

“And you’re gonna be a freshman. Again.”

“Hey now, it’s only a matter of time before you’re one again, too.”

“Yeah, but I have a whole year. You have two months,” Steve smirks.

“What am I going to do with you and your smart mouth?”

“There are many options. You could kiss it to make me shut up.”

“Not while I’m driving, Steven.”

Steve laughs. He doesn’t respond, so they drive for a bit in comfortable silence.

“Bucky?” Steve asks.

“Yeah, Steve?”

“The timing might seem like crap, but I’m glad we got our shit together.”

“Yeah, I’m glad too,” Bucky smiles.

“And we’ll figure this long distance thing out. It’s really not that long of a distance. So we’re pretty lucky in that respect. And I can come to the city and visit you some weekends. It’d be way more fun than you coming home.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And I can help you shop for stuff for your dorm room, and I can meet your roommate. And we can FaceTime when he sexiles you. And--”

“Hey, Stevie?” Bucky interrupts.

“Yeah?”

“All this planning is great and stuff, but maybe we can just focus on the moment? I mean, you’re going to baseball camp in a month.”

“Exactly. That’s why we have to plan.”

“Or, we could take it one day at a time. I leave in August. Which means that while you’re at baseball camp in July, I have plenty of time to worry about getting ready for college. This thing is still new, and I want to enjoy it while I have you everyday. Because we’re not gonna have that for a while after this,” Bucky says as he pulls up to the restaurant.

“That’s fair. I was just getting excited.”

“It’s okay to get excited. I’m excited. But all I want to do right now is spend time with my super hot boyfriend. Does that sound like a plan, punk?”

Steve blushes. “Yeah, jerk, that sounds like a plan.”

“Good.”

Steve stares at Bucky for a moment before shifting over so that it’s easier to take his face in his hands and kiss him. It seems like a kiss that might go on forever, until it’s interrupted by a knock on Bucky’s window. Steve pulls away and immediately blushes and runs a hand through his hair. Bucky turns to see his dad waving, so he rolls down the window.

“Come inside so we can order and your sister will stop complaining. You can neck later,” he says before heading back into the restaurant.

“Please remind me to lock the door whenever we’re at my house,” Bucky tells Steve as they get out of the car.

“Noted.” Steve meets Bucky and takes his hand as they walk towards the restaurant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I'm not going to get too mushy, but maybe just a little, so have a song first:
> 
>  
> 
> [Something Great](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oqDMxTSpK4)
> 
>  
> 
> So I'd just like to say, thank you so much to everyone who has left kudos, commented, and subscribed to this fic. Your kind words have definitely helped me to finish this, even though it took the longest time for me to do so. I hope you all enjoyed it!
> 
> I would also like to give a major shout out and thanks to my lovely writer friend who has been my unofficial beta since I wrote the flashback to Steve and Bucky's first kiss last October. Thank you for your encouragement and editing help even though Marvel is not your thing. <3 
> 
> In terms of stuff I'm up to next, I have quite a few ideas for drabbles set in this universe. None of them are written or concrete, so don't expect them anytime soon, but I feel like I want to write some more fluff, since a lot of the fluff I wrote was when Bucky and Brock were together.
> 
> I'm currently in the middle of working on like three or four Check, Please! ideas, so if you're into that fandom, that's what I'm going to be focusing on going into 2017. And if you want to come find me on [Tumblr](http://mylifeiskara.tumblr.com/), I'm currently rejoicing in the Check, Please! update which almost distracted me from finishing this. 
> 
> Thank you again for reading!


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